Have you been raised by a narcissistic mother?
While growing up, when you are a child, your parents are a big presence in your life, and this is completely normal. You rely on them for survival. For your emotional and physical safety, you need your parents to take care of you.
But as you grow up, you become more and more independent, and slowly but surely, you can live on your own. This is an essential part of a healthy parent-child relationship and is a shift that comes naturally.
Every kid becomes a full person with needs, desires, and perspectives that are completely worthy of the support of their parents. However, if you have a narcissistic mother, there is a high chance that your growing-up experience is totally different.
Hopefully, there are some clear signs that can tell you if you’ve been raised by a narcissistic mother, and we are about to share them with you. Read on and find out more.
20 Responses
I actually didn’t know that being a narcissist was a thing until the last 10 months when things just would not add up and I didn’t understand it although I’m 58 years old, it still is bewildering to me
Sadly these are all traits I experience from my daughter. I genuinely read this to see if I was guilty of being a narcissistic mother but these are the things I experience with my two oldest. They still feel I should be paying for them or somehow bail them out of situations from Poe choices, and I find myself always apologizing for things I know I didn’t even do just to appease and keep one of of these two’s outbursts of anger and insult at a minimum, just to keep the piece. It’s exhausting to say the least, disruptive and draining. I have finally learned to set boundaries. It took me a long time to realize that no matter what I did for these girls that I would always be their scapegoat for anything that goes wrong in their lives.
So tired of article beating up on parents. Parenting is not easy especially when the child has adhd, drug problems. Some more articles on HOW IMPORTANT FAMILY is HOW LUCKY YOU ARE IF YOUR PARENTS ARE ALIVE. How relationships take two and sometimes your behavior causes reactions. How are articles praising the parents that stick with the child thru drug addiction. HOw about articles if you are successful your parents did something right.
Drugs do not create narcissistic disorder. However too often it’s the parents who unknowingly create narcissism in children. You as a parent, might not have these characteristics. But you can certainly help to turn a child into one by under indulgence or over indulgence. How do I know? I stare at these faces every single day in my life and feel powerless to do anything.
I was a child when I witnessed extreme cruelty, physical abuse and absence of love and guidance being given to one specific child throughout his childhood until the day he left my family at the age of 17. He went to jail for shooting at someone and missed his head by an inch. Got out of jail and turned his life around by working and putting himself through school without anyone’s help. He became a hi-tech engineer then subsequently a manger.
He had a very successful career and retired at the age of 55. Awesome you’d think? Not so fast! He IS the most selfish, cold, calculated, entitled, jealous, easy to triggered, controlling SOB I know. He is my brother and I love and care about him. But I pay real close attention to him when we’re close. I cannot trust him. It’s so so sad. A life is wasted when you never learned how to be honest or love another soul beside yourself.
On the other hand, my parents made sure all of us females are subservient, low self esteem and become great targets for these narcissistic individuals.
So, you don’t have to be a narcissist to raise another one but you can sure as hell help to create a few of them.
I am trying to divorce from such a woman whose 57 today and lives on tiktok 24/7, and after 25 yrs of marriage, realized her “family” dumped her problems onto me early on and this marriage which I have gone thru hell for years dealing with so many “agencies” and her problems she got into from drug abuse to mental health, domestic violence and arrests, 3 death threats against myself even, etc and in all, she became even more of an expert as to how to manipulate “experts” and get out of them, dance around laws, and today is why nearly 2 years have been wasted here in NC trying to divorcee100% from such an individual because the courts, nobody, gives a damn about reasons or facts- just assets & debts in the marriage.. So how can you even consider ability to reason or deal with such an individual in the court system?? I am in my 60’s, and there will be nothing left by the time this divorce is settled in NC and is this fair to me or what I invested and worked hard for all these years to see disappear???
Exactly, Veronica. Plus, often the mother’s version of a past event is more accurate because she was an adult with a better viewpoint than the child had.
Simple answer for you… don’t read them and don’t comment on them.
Other people need them. Let them be. The article is SPOT ON. It is the same list that has been in the field of psychology from back when I read every science journal in the dentists office at 8 years old, wondering how to “break the cycle,” coincidently the same phrase used then.
43 years later, Your comment seems very similar to a criticism that a narcisstic parent would make to someone after diminishing a child’s ego and increasing the child’s chances of turning to drugs as a momentary though superficial escape from pain.
I have met many people with ADHD and many other psych conditions such as bipolar and schizoprenia. They all had parents. Some were parents themselves. They all had feelings too.
There is NO excuse for narcisstic parenting.
Victims are not lucky.
Nothing in life happens without effort.
Do not pray for an easy life. Pray for the strength to endure a difficult one.
If you are sick, seek professional help for yourself.
I totally agree with you! My daughter is 44 and is has been in and out of the system for years. I figured out about 12 years ago that I was an enabler. I was always there for her, helping her in and out of messes that I was paying for & she continued using & abusing me and the situation. I prayed for God to build a shield around me to actually protect me from her. She is so toxic. There are times when a person has to stop and get off the merry-g0-round. How do a parent stick with someone that is constantly taking them under? (my sanity was at stake) If they make their own mistakes then they have to be the ones to pay, but it seems the alot of the parents do. No more for me. My daughter has to help herself, I just can’t do it anymore. (too old now) So I have to agree with you on what you said. Also, for the people that haven’t gone through this…”It don’t matter til it matters”! Good luck and God Bless anyone thats gone through this hell.
Veronica
This article is not about bad parenting. It is about Narcissistic Personality Disorder.
Just for some background information, I’m 62 years old, a mother of four, and I have ADHD, I also have dyslexia, I had to be in special classes all the way up through high School. I remember my mom smacking me every time I got a flashcard wrong. Is it my fault that I was born with ADHD and dyslexia? Who’s the narcissist here? And if your child is an addict most addicts I found have parents and relatives that are addicts. Or they have parents that are abusive both physical and psychological. I fortunately did not become an alcoholic like my parents, I guess I just didn’t inherit that Gene. I was lucky.
Nice comment
Absolutely 💯 I agree sounds more like labeling everyone has a little bit of narcissist sickening when you get on your computer and that’s all you is narcissism arrival what makes me sick is your toe to stay away from them at all costs but if this is truly a problem it might hurt them as much to know they may be narcissistic I think this has gone too far I’d like to know who made them judge and jury just because of some way someone behaves in a manner with their mad not knowing their anger where it’s coming from they’re all the sudden a narcissistic
My mother was very kind to other people & sometimes to me but she would say “Your Daddy does not think you are pretty because you do not look like ME. Then later “I love your brother more than I do you but your Daddy loves you best”. What on Earth? And she had felt belittled by her own mother so WHY WOULD SHE DO THAT?
I’m just curious and want to learn more!
Every word describes my mother exactly. It blows my mind how someone cannot see the way they’re treating people. So many different things going on and no accountability they see nothing wrong with them. It’s just frustrating when you can’t get through to somebody like this and they don’t want to get help. She started acting like this years ago, she didn’t do it when I was little. But each day it gets worse and worse and more consistent.
This article definitely describes my daughter. Constant attention and drama. She invents dramatic situations for attention. Her most recent episode happened this year, at a family reunion in Dallas, Texas. Everyone was having a good time and she called the police with a false statement. Needless to say, SHE was arrested and everyone went home. I no longer talk to her and have no intention of letting her back into my life. Sad, but true.
I knew she was a narcissist in my teens. My Dad was the only one who could keep a muzzle on her. I used to suffer from EXTREMELY bad migraines. My Dad told me once (…..God could die tomorrow and put you in charge, but your Mother will still critize you.” Once I got it….my migraines went away. At one point I cut her from my life and haven’t had a headache in 50+ years!!!
When I was growing up my Mother always praised my Brother more than she did me. She always bragged on his intelligence and that made me feel as If I were not as smart as him so I didnt care if I accomplished higher achievements or not cause she made me feel I would never be as smart as him. In return I didnt even try to do better cause I felt as she didnt care. I ended up in a messy marriage cause I wouldnt smart enough in her eyes. The list goes on.
Gwyn hi I’m so sorry this happened to you my mother always put me down also she is a very negative person she did this to my other sisters I vowed not to when I had my daughter I always praise her and she and I are close my mother is 84 I forgave her for myself I lifted this burden she’s treated our brothers different I realize I can’t change the way she is and accept it I work 7days a week she’s always asking about me because I don’t see her but I love her
I hear you. I too was a product of a mother who loved her son. She had two and one adopted by her third marriage. The one son, who is my blood(from same father) is very cruel, selfish and can not be trusted. I tried to have an honest relationship with him and all I got was lies and deceit. I realized that I was a worthy human being and my strengths and kindness were seen as weakness. I do not have a relationship with my brother and for that I am thankful. Remember your worth. You are the light. You are enough.