6. They gaslight you
The manipulative tactic of gaslighting is a common weapon used by those affected by narcissism, and if your caretaker does the same, you might have a narcissistic mother. When someone is gaslighting you, they deny your reality and twist the truth as a tactic to make you question your reality.
Imagine that you have a very clear memory of an event, and then your mother tells you that this thing you are talking about never happened. Or it never happened the way you remember it. Then they keep insisting that their distorted narrative is the truth, and it might feel incredibly confusing to you.
Over time, you lose your sense of confidence, and you might even start to apologize for things you’ve never done. You’ll do this because you don’t want to upset your narcissistic mother. After all, each time she is angry, a new gaslighting episode occurs.
Doubting your own perceptions is not normal, and it’s important to seek support as soon as you are able to do so.
If you want to learn more about this topic, this book might be helpful: Narcissistic Mothers: How to Handle a Narcissistic Parent and Recover from CPTSD
You should also read: 6 Reasons Why People Fall in Love With Narcissists
6 Responses
I actually didn’t know that being a narcissist was a thing until the last 10 months when things just would not add up and I didn’t understand it although I’m 58 years old, it still is bewildering to me
Sadly these are all traits I experience from my daughter. I genuinely read this to see if I was guilty of being a narcissistic mother but these are the things I experience with my two oldest. They still feel I should be paying for them or somehow bail them out of situations from Poe choices, and I find myself always apologizing for things I know I didn’t even do just to appease and keep one of of these two’s outbursts of anger and insult at a minimum, just to keep the piece. It’s exhausting to say the least, disruptive and draining. I have finally learned to set boundaries. It took me a long time to realize that no matter what I did for these girls that I would always be their scapegoat for anything that goes wrong in their lives.
So tired of article beating up on parents. Parenting is not easy especially when the child has adhd, drug problems. Some more articles on HOW IMPORTANT FAMILY is HOW LUCKY YOU ARE IF YOUR PARENTS ARE ALIVE. How relationships take two and sometimes your behavior causes reactions. How are articles praising the parents that stick with the child thru drug addiction. HOw about articles if you are successful your parents did something right.
My mother was very kind to other people & sometimes to me but she would say “Your Daddy does not think you are pretty because you do not look like ME. Then later “I love your brother more than I do you but your Daddy loves you best”. What on Earth? And she had felt belittled by her own mother so WHY WOULD SHE DO THAT?
I’m just curious and want to learn more!
Every word describes my mother exactly. It blows my mind how someone cannot see the way they’re treating people. So many different things going on and no accountability they see nothing wrong with them. It’s just frustrating when you can’t get through to somebody like this and they don’t want to get help. She started acting like this years ago, she didn’t do it when I was little. But each day it gets worse and worse and more consistent.