Relationships aren’t perfect, and they’re certainly not easy either. Happy couples still argue, disagree, and get into nerve-wracking situations, but everything is part of a normal relationship. We’re humans and we make mistakes, so it’s natural to have an argument once in a while, but it’s more important to get past it.
However, if your partner doesn’t prioritize you, lets you down on a regular basis, and does not consider your feelings, it might be time to get out of that relationship, as it’s doing you no good. If they’re not supportive or you found them lying in multiple situations, listen to your gut, it’s your body’s natural way of telling you it’s time to move on.
According to Dr. Carla Marie Manly, a clinical psychologist, you shouldn’t expect too much or be overly demanding in a relationship, but that doesn’t mean you should accept bad behavior. Your relationship should be your safe haven, the place where you feel the most loved, safe, and supported. If your partner is not making you feel this way, they probably don’t deserve to be part of your journey.
People will disappoint you inevitably, but that doesn’t mean you should accept disappointment all the time. Make sure you have an open conversation with your partner and let them know how their actions made you feel. According to Manly, you should tell your partner right away what’s bothering you and what you’re not OK with.
If they care about you, they will try to make things better and you’ll both going to work together to improve the relationship because it’s a two-person job. If you told your significant other what’s bothering you and they still don’t care, or if you notice one of the 7 signs mentioned below, it might be the time to get out of the relationship and move on.
Make sure to also check: How to Trust Your Partner Again After Betrayal.
Your partner is always lying to you.
It’s hard to trust someone again after they’ve lied to you multiple times and it’s up to you if you let them stick around or not. However, it’s always important to consider why they felt the need to lie (it was in your bad interest? to protect you from bad news? or they did something bad and didn’t want you to find out?).
Have an open conversation with them and find out why they didn’t tell you the truth. Also, if you’re not satisfied with their answer, it’s OK to walk away if the relationship doesn’t feel right. According to Nicole Arzt, LMFT, a licensed marriage, and family therapist, “Lying can be so insidious, and it can damage trust so quickly.”
And don’t get me wrong, everyone tells a little white lie once in a while, but chronic lying is a whole different story and a red flag that shouldn’t get overlooked.
Your partner denigrates you all the time.
A healthy relationship needs a little bit of sarcasm and humor because it’s more fun this way, but if your partner is denigrating you and putting you down on purpose, it’s a good indicator that you shouldn’t waste any more time in that partnership.
According to Dr. Feuerman, “This type of behavior rarely changes, and you don’t want it to tear down your self-esteem.” There’s a big difference between having fun by using humor and wanting to put someone down with mean words.
Your partner is constantly repeating the same mistakes.
A relationship needs time and patience to develop and grow, but if you can’t see any progress even though you already forgave them several times, they’re not making enough effort to deserve your love, explains Dr. Logan Jones, a Manhattan-based psychologist.
You shouldn’t expect a relationship where everything goes perfectly because that doesn’t exist. There will be times when you’ll disagree, fight, or simply have different opinions. But that’s normal and it happens with every couple. What’s not normal is someone repeating the same mistakes over and over again.
According to Dr. Jones, “you may want to check in with yourself and make sure you’re in the same relationship and that the relationship can continue to evolve upward.”
Your partner doesn’t like to talk about the future.
Maybe you assumed that things will take a more serious turn and your relationship will lead to marriage eventually, but your partner might not be seeing so far in the future. Just because your partner isn’t quite there it doesn’t mean that they don’t love you. However, you need to have an open conversation and find out if you’re both on the same page or if you’re just wasting your time.
But if you’re ready to take the relationship to the next level and your partner is not even thinking about it, maybe you should start asking yourself if it’s worth investing so much love, time, and effort into a relationship that might not have a future.
Have an open conversation with your partner, tell them how you feel and what you expect to happen in the near future, and who knows, maybe they feel the same way. But if they’re not on the same page with you and want different things, it might be time to move on.
Your partner is not happy for you.
Your partner should be as excited about your good news as you are. If they’re not reacting as you expected them to or simply do not care about what happens in your life, maybe they’re not meant to be part of it.
According to Dr. Manly, “In cases such as this, it’s possible that insecurity and competition are at work.” In order to find out, you need to talk to them again and ask them why they aren’t happy about your success.
According to Dr. Manly, sometimes people want to bring you down just to feel better about themselves. If that’s the case, it’s not worth spending one more minute in that relationship, a good partner needs to be supportive, encouraging, and happy for your success. You’re a team after all, and it’s not a competition.
Your partner is not helping you when you’re in need.
A healthy relationship consists of being there for each other in both the good and the bad times. Life has its ups and downs and you need to find someone who’s willing to stick to the not-so-good moments either. Your partner should be there for you to help you when you’re sick when you’ve lost your job, or someone dear to you passed away.
According to Dr. Marni Feuerman, an author and licensed psychotherapist, if your significant other is not there for you when it matters the most, it might be a sign that they’re not ready for a serious relationship and don’t have your best interest at heart.
And we’re not just talking about the big stuff, if they’re not offering to help you when you have a bad day or simply don’t care about what happened in your day-to-day life, it means they’re not committed to you and you deserve better.
According to Dr. Manly says, “When one partner doesn’t show consistent interest in the other’s emotional status and act in supportive ways, it’s a serious sign of being disconnected from the partner and the relationship.”
Your partner never reaches out to you.
A relationship is 50/50 work, you have to meet in the middle. You can’t do all the work in the relationship and expect it to last. According to Dr. Manly, you need to understand why they’re acting like this, maybe they’re going through a hard time at work or have to deal with some personal stuff, or maybe they’re simply not committed enough to the relationship.
However, it’s normal to feel down and rejected when someone you love ignores you, especially if they’re not texting back or answering your calls. It’s worth having a conversation with your partner and offering them a chance to do better. But most of the time, when someone never reaches out it’s because they’re not as committed to you as you’d want them to be.