Evil but Common Things Narcissists Do After a Breakup

You’ve been dating a narcissist? These are the common things narcissists do after a breakup.

With their charming personalities in the early months of the relationship, it is very easy to fall in love with a narcissist. They show you their kind and adorable face, a fake one of course to catch you on their web, but after a while (not long), they slowly release their true personality.

If you subscribed to our page, then you probably know we tried to explain this from the psychological point of view many times throughout our articles. In this one, we will talk about how it feels to part ways with a narcissist, and most importantly, what are the things narcissists do after a breakup.

They blame the other person

Of course, they did nothing wrong since they’re “perfect,” right? Unfortunately, this is a never-ending story with a narcissist and won’t be an exception even after the breakup. Thus, be prepared for them to hold you solely responsible for the breakup, even if both of you may probably have had some blame for the failure of the relationship.

This has a psychological explanation: the natural tendency to place blame might be related to an individual’s need for self-preservation and commitment to keeping their ego, which means believing that they are the greatest and that everyone else is entirely to blame for any misfortune.

It takes a lot of strength to admit you are guilty on a certain level too, a type of strength a selfish person may never have.

Ignore that the relationship actually ended

This may sound surprising, especially for those who have never been in a relationship with a narcissist, but it’s true and is one of the things narcissists do after a breakup. They can continue acting like nothing happened, ignoring the fact that you said you wanted to break up.

Since most of them have a huge issue with respecting other people’s boundaries, they might try to call you, write you on social media and via text messages, or even come to your door.

They will do their best to convince you you’ve made a mistake

A relationship with a narcissist can be so overwhelming and complicated that many individuals experience trauma for months after the breakup. Trust issues, feelings of unworthiness, and persistent sadness are just a few of the things that will linger after the relationship ends.

If you were the one who decided to end it, most probably the narcissist will try to make you come back by saying you made a mistake and things can be good again between you two. To regain control of the relationship, they use charm, extortion, persuasion, and finally intimidation, agitation, and open provocation.

Don’t fall into their trap because this is manipulation. According to various psychological studies, a narcissistic partner would never love their partners on a true and vulnerable level, two things that are crucial for a healthy relationship.

Tell others a completely different version of the story

That’s huge and is their way to protect their image in front of the others while spoiling yours. Expect them to tell everyone a different version of your breakup, and most probably they will say they ended it. Appearances matter to them, and one thing they dislike the most is being seen by others as vulnerable or sad.

Revenge might be around the corner

This is probably one of the ugliest things narcissists do after a breakup: they seek revenge. Posting rants on social media to get attention from others by blaming you for how they feel, trying to hack into your email account, or spreading rumors about you in your group of friends.

In extreme situations, they can also try to mess up your job by trying to persuade employers or HR into believing you are really a bad person who isn’t suitable to work in the company.

Gaslighting you

The terms “gaslighting” and “narcissism” are frequently used together because this is the narcissist’s first weapon. When a relationship is coming to an end, gaslighting might take the form of dismissing your worries and your reasons for leaving it. Things like, “You’re the one who doesn’t want to work on this relationship,” can be said to you. “It’s not me. I’ve done everything I can to keep us together.”

This is a very bad guilt trip that many people use to convince the other person to come back to them.

Life is short and it’s not right for you to be unhappy and stuck in a connection that doesn’t bring you any good. If you just broke up with a narcissist and you don’t know what road you should take, then this book is for you.

Surviving a Narcissist: A Step-by-Step Guide to Healing from Emotional Abuse and Toxic Behaviors helps you understand that there is light at the end of the tunnel no matter what happens. Regain your mental health and see this as an experience that life throws at you. The book is available on Amazon in all versions, from paperback to Kindle edition. 

Empty promises regarding their change

No, don’t fall for that! If you’ve been in the relationship for a while now and things didn’t work as you planned, you probably had many serious discussions about what things you could change for the relationship to work.

Truth be told, a narcissist may never change, and if you asked them to do so along the time you’ve been in a relationship and things got worse rather than good, you should never believe they will ever change.

If gaslighting, blame, and persuasion never worked to pull you back into the relationship, they will make empty promises that things will change once you give them another chance.

Reveal their neediness

While they want to show a strong and independent appearance, in reality, they are very uncertain people who need constant reassurance and validation. Being in a connection with a narcissist can be exhausting since you will feel like you are in second place because you end up taking care of them more than you should.

Even after the breakup, they will try to make it harder for you to say no. Be mindful of this because too many interactions with a former partner don’t benefit you and your mental health.

Stalking you at its best

While narcissists seldom engage in dangerous stalking, it is not unusual for them to happen to be in the grocery store when you are, to show up out of the blue at a social or community gathering you frequent or to plan their daily running schedule to pass by your house. Be prepared for these unexpected meetings to occur. They are intended to keep you conscious of the narcissist’s existence and unbalanced emotionally.

Gossip about you

Because a narcissist insists that everyone you know take a side, it can be difficult to keep the breakup private. They will right away share their version of the breakup story with your friends, neighbors, churchgoers, and other acquaintances both in person and on social media.

Gossiping about you is a tactic they apply to make you the bad guy in their story and gain the sympathy of others. This is just another (failed) attempt to win you back.

Have you ever been with a narcissist?

Related article: 6 Reasons Why People Fall in Love With Narcissists.