Are you scared of divorce?
There isn’t a magic recipe on how to make someone love you infinitely, just like there isn’t a fantastic trick to help you love someone forever. Sometimes things work and sometimes they don’t. I feel like in a relationship it’s normal to change, but it has to be a change that both partners are willing to commit.
When you get married, you hear a quote saying ”Till death do us part”. This doesn’t guarantee you a healthy and loving relationship. In order to do that, you have to pay attention to your partner’s needs and really communicate. If a couple tries and tries, but nothing works, maybe a divorce will do wonders for you.
Maybe you don’t know what your partner wants, but there are some clues that you can analyze and find out. Usually, before a divorce, people implied in a relationship tend to have some changes in their behavior. Just keep reading this article and find out about the signs that indicate a marriage break up.
10 Responses
We have been married for 49 yrs My husband is not a good communicator never has been. But after all these years I don’t care any more and he bottles it all up. Then he goes crazy. We have two grown children, five grandchildren and two great grand daughters.I say I don’t care but I do about our family. Thank you for your article.
Re: the statement, “Even though it can be challenging walking out of a marriage, you have to remember that you don’t have to stay if you are feeling unhappy.”
I think one of the most important decisions to make before walking out of a marriage is deciding whether you are unhappy with the marriage or if you are unhappy with yourself. My husband divorced me after 29 years of marriage because he wasn’t “happy”. The fact of the matter was that he told our marriage counselor that his unhappiness wasn’t linked to me or directly to our marriage. He was actually unhappy with himself. The divorce did nothing to make him happy. He should have spent time with a personal therapist/counselor to get to the bottom of his unhappiness and depression, rather than throwing 29 years of marriage in the dumpster.
You are so spot on with this. If one is not happy with themselves, then you can’t make someone else happy. People should never get married until they are happy with themselves. This is why I believe, people are waiting longer to commit to marriage or not at all. That is very smart in order to avoid marriages ending 5, 10, or even 20plus years later and causing a financial disaster and further depression.
Wow this is exactly my current situation. My husband hates himself but lies at counseling. Has filed for divorce from me instead of getting to bottom of his problems. I suspect his pain management plan keeping him on oxycodone for ten plus years is the problem.
57 years here a lot of the above is present in our marriage but mostly the sexual item, one partner is devoid of all sexual needs the other still wants it but is unable to perform, a tough combination. Arguments happen but do not last over long periods. The male in the relationship tries to communicate but the female is the one that is more hesitant to do so, this makes for some tense times. All and 57 years ain’t bad and what else ya got to do, both have medicals problems.
After we had been married for about five years, my widowed dad married his second wife who was a nationally-renowned Imago Therapy trainer, and the two of them paid for us to do an intense Imago weekend (three days at a business-targeted workshop hotel where we went to all-day workshops with a few other couples).
We had a variety of communications difficulties (somewhat severe, actually, largely as a result of various disabilities) but with the skill of the training team we were able to work through those and have been doing wonderfully (not without occasional disputes, but…) for now another three decades.
While in-person workshops have been difficult to locate lately due to COVID-19, I really recommend Imago (resolving unmet childhood needs through cleverly targeted communications strategies) for couples in ANY stage of an intimate relationship.
So what do you do when he tells you. He’s having an affair. How do you get beyond the hurt and anger to even talk.
Great article. Unfortunately the reality for many people is they reach a point in life where it’s economically unfeasible to get a divorce. The Bible tells us there’s no marriage in heaven. Now I know why!
My husband cheated on me for 28 years with people that worked for us.
We are now separated.
4 days after we separated he was in a date.
He wants me back. That is insane.
He’s mother cheated so was he’s dad.
I think something is really mess up with him.
Marriage should be a 10 year contract, renewable if both parties agree. I dont think I would ever do this again.