Making a good impression is not always easy, as there are a lot of factors that can affect attraction. And even though we might like to believe that we chose our partners rationally, the truth is certain superficial factors played a very important part. Therefore, if you find yourself in a situation where you have trouble meeting new people, or keeping them in your life, it might be because you’re indirectly sending certain signals that make you less attractive in other people’s eyes.
However, the good news is that you can change all that by simply understanding how attraction works. Read on to discover the 12 major turn-offs that can make you less attractive, according to science!
P.S. Keep in mind that these statistics do not apply to everyone, but maybe they will help you make a good first impression the next time you meet someone.
1. Poor table manners
Got a dinner date and you want to make the best possible impression? Then make sure you’re not forgetting about the basic manners. As a Ladbrokes study has shown, bad table manners are huge turn-offs for both men and women.
In order to make a good impression, try not to eat with your mouth open, play with the cutlery, move your fingers on the table or talk rudely to the waitstaff. As Sujeiry Gonzalez, 39, founder of Love Sujeiry and on-air reVolver Podcasts host has shared with us, she had a really bad date where she was completely grossed out by a man.
She mentioned that she liked this man very much before the date, she even thought he was ‘the one,’ until he started talking with his mouth full and revealed everything he had in there. Additionally, another etiquette rule that must be followed when you’re eating in a restaurant is putting your phone away, and resist the temptation of answering texts or checking social media, because it will make the other person feel like you’re not interested.
2. You’re not happy
Happiness attracts people, that’s why you get a lot more compliments when you smile. A 2011 study asked participants to pose and then other members of the opposite sex had to rate their attractiveness.
It’s no surprise that both men and women were perceived as more attractive if they smiled or looked happy, while those who looked sad or arrogant appeared less attractive. The moral of the story, happiness looks great on you, so try to smile more often.
3. Bad grammar
Yes, you’ve heard right. Bad grammar can really be a turn-off to a potential partner, especially when you met online. Texting has become an important part of our modern lives, and there’s definitely a lot of pressure when it comes to meeting someone online.
A recent study has shown that most men and women tend to reject online suitors based on their grammar skills. Misspelling has turned out to be an important red flag when it comes to finding a romantic interest. The study has shown that 75 percent of the 9000 online daters surveyed admitted to rejecting people due to bad grammar reasons. Why does bad grammar make you less attractive in other people’s eyes?
Well, firstly because it gives the impression that you lack education, and secondly, it makes you seem lazy when you do not use punctuation. Yes, periods are a big deal and everyone should use them.
Also, it’s very hard to understand a long text where there’s no punctuation. If you’re too lazy to close out a sentence on your dating profile, you’re likely not ready to be in a mature relationship. And don’t get me wrong, anyone can make mistakes from time to time, however, if you want to make a good first impression, you need to make sure you’re not misspelling words or forgetting about punctuation.
4. You’re not sleeping enough
Even though it might seem like sleep has nothing to do with attraction, the reality is different. In fact, a study from 2010 conducted by a group of researchers in Sweden and the Netherlands took photos of individuals who haven’t slept in 31 hours, and individuals who slept for 8 hours that night, to see the differences.
It’s no surprise to anyone that those who did not sleep that night were rated as less attractive, as they presented dark circles, droopy eyelids, red eyes, and pale skin. They also looked a lot sadder than those who slept for eight hours that night. So yes, beauty sleep is real, my friends.
5. Having no hobbies or interests
As science has shown, the thing that makes you very attractive in other people’s eyes is having hobbies and interests, or being passionate about something in particular. Creativity has been shown to make you appear more attractive, this is why guys who play the guitar get a lot of girls.
Even though we look at the physical features when we meet someone for the first time, beauty isn’t enough. True attraction is a lot more complex, and your personality is the most important factor.
According to Rachel Needle, a licensed psychologist at the Center for Marital and Sexual Health of South Florida, “People are more attracted to those who are passionate about something. When people are excited and passionate about their interests, it can be attractive.”
However, studies have shown that women pay more attention to this specific factor compared to men, who do not necessarily rate creative women as being more attractive. Even so, being passionate about something will make you appear very sexy.
6. Bad behavior
While it’s true that you can hide your true color when you talk to someone online, meeting them offline will definitely reveal who you really are, because people can sense fakeness. Additionally, bad behavior will instantly make you appear less attractive, and don’t be surprised if you never hear from that person again.
Try not to be arrogant, because no one likes that. If you really want to find love, you must be open to attracting new people, and you can’t do that if you’re rude and grumpy all the time.
Try to be as honest as possible and try not to wear a mask. And don’t forget to smile as much as possible and send positive vibes.
Make sure to also check: 10 Signs You Ought to Say “Yes” to a Second Date.
Yes, stress can make you less attractive, as a 2013 study has shown. How? Well, women are perceived as less attractive when they present high levels of the stress hormone cortisol, even though men had no idea about this aspect. As researchers would explain, high cortisol levels make you look tired and unhealthy, while low cortisol levels are linked to indicating fertility and good health, and we’re biologically attracted to these traits.
8. You’re not honest
Even though you might feel like lying is a good idea in order to appear more attractive in other people’s eyes, it will probably work against you in the end. A study from 2006 conducted at the University of Western Ontario has shown that dishonesty is a huge turn-off for both men and women.
According to Reader’s Digest, “Participants were asked to read blurbs about people who were described as either intelligent or unintelligent, dependent or independent, and honest or dishonest. Participants then rated the people they had read about on several criteria, including how much they liked them. In the end, honesty was the only trait that had any significant effect on attractiveness ratings.”
9. You’re standing with your arms crossed
You probably know this already, but body language will tell a lot more about you than your words ever will. In fact, a study from 2016 has shown that individuals with contractive body language will appear less attractive than those who look more open. The researchers divided the participants into two groups and asked the first group to pose in contractive positions, with their arms crossed, and the second one to pose in expansive positions. Then, they created dating profiles using those pictures.
The study’s findings have shown that individuals in contractive postures appeared less attractive than those in expansive postures.
10. Alcohol abuse and heavy smoking
You probably understand why these things can make you less attractive in other people’s eyes since both can be important red flags when it comes to choosing a partner. A recent study asked more than 200 young women to examine photographs with men and rate which they consider attractive at a first glance and which not.
The results have shown that heavy drinkers and smokers were considered less attractive than occasional drinkers, non-drinkers, and nonsmokers. These nasty habits can stand in the way of you finding the right one.
11. High-pitched voice
Even though our society and media used to portray high-pitched voices as a sexy symbol, once again, what you see in movies and TV shows is so far from the truth. In fact, a study conducted in 2013 has discovered that female voice sounds way more attractive when it is “breathy and moderately high-pitched.”
That doesn’t mean you should imitate Scarlett Johansson, but make sure not to speak like Paris Hilton either, because it won’t help you make a good first impression.