Jumping from one relationship to another or staying in a relationship past its expiration date
Just like avoiding relationships can mean dodging emotional pain, family trauma survivors who jump from one relationship to the next or stay in a toxic relationship are repeatedly trying to fill the void of their childhood attachment wounds.
If they can prove they’re worthy of love and affection, this heals the inner voice that constantly tells them they’re not.
Feeling unsafe
After a traumatic event occurs, our beliefs about the world being a safe and secure place are understandably broken. So, people may feel that any situation is potentially dangerous. This is most likely to happen in situations or places that remind someone of a traumatic event.
Both anxious and non-anxious brains are learning continually. Unlike the anxious person, though, a non-anxious individual can more easily “unlearn” the lessons that they encounter in life.
For example, suppose two people who received a poor review are scheduled to follow up with their boss. Unless they’re told otherwise, the non-anxious person is likelier to assume the meeting as a non-threatening event.
The anxious person, however, may begin to panic about receiving a second negative review. Worse, their anxious brain might not be able to concentrate on anything other than the upcoming meeting. They remain in a constant state of anxiety unless told otherwise.
