Should You Change Your Name After Divorce?
If you’ve been married for long, the transition to a single life is not easy at all and is filled with a lot of challenges. When children are also involved everything becomes even harder. But, unfortunately, there’s nothing we can do. Life happens and we need to always adapt and readapt to all kinds of situations. People change, aspirations change, perspectives change and divorce can sometimes feel like a relief, while other times it can also feel like a punishment, a hard-to-handle situation. It all depends on the partners and how the conflicts are managed. Yes, you heard me right. Conflicts and misunderstandings in a couple are huge reasons for separation.
What should you do when everything seems impossible? How to adapt to a single person’s life and what are the challenges you will face, you’ll find all you need to know about divorce in this article. Most importantly, you’ll learn how changing your name after a divorce is a powerful step in your journey. Just keep reading.
“Until Death Do Us Part” – My Journey
No married couple is thinking about a different final on their wedding day. I couldn’t stop thinking about “What would people think?” and “How would I manage on my own?”. My journey through divorce was harder than I expected. Now, the word “Divorce” carries so much weight for me. It marked the end of a chapter that I used to believe would last forever. When I got married to my partner, I was full of hope and dreams about our life and future, but everything ended up being far different from what we both expected.
It took me a lot of time thinking about the idea of divorce but I wasn’t brave enough to do it earlier. As the years went by, we started to feel the cracks in our relationship that were becoming harder and harder to handle. What started as small disagreements turned into constant arguments. I remember the beautiful love we had at first, which in the past years completely transformed into resentment and frustration. The biggest mistake I made was to believe that everything would get better and the opposite happened.
The hardest part
By far, the hardest moment was when I decided to tell my children about the divorce. Even though they have their own families now, it felt like a huge responsibility for me to handle the situation properly and talk to them about my decision. I felt that, at first, it was hard for them to understand what I had been going through, but now, almost a year later, they finally accepted the situation and things feel like they are back to normal.
Emotionally, the journey felt like a rollercoaster. Some days I felt optimistic about my new beginning and other days I felt anxious and lonely. The legal process of the divorce was also overwhelming. All the paperwork, court days, and negotiations, were exhausting. But I managed to do everything and set myself free with the help of my friends. They didn’t let me down and were supporting me no matter how I was feeling. I think they were the ones that kept me away from a real depression. Multiple times I felt like falling apart but they were there to catch me.
The relationship with my ex now
You may wonder how my relationship with my ex-husband is. Well, we are not talking, he is mad at me and I am mad at him. That’s the reality, but I feel that I made the most important and true decision of my entire life. Even though I was scared, now I feel stronger than ever. I don’t need a man to protect me, I can also protect myself.
I encourage all the women who can’t find happiness anymore in their marriage to be courageous enough to stop it. Everything seems impossible until it’s done. As a woman, all you need to do is trust your instincts, because they never disappoint.
Is it that important to change your name after divorce?
Yes, it is. Divorce represents at the same time an ending, but also a new beginning. It’s a life-changing event, a time for healing and rediscovery, and reclaiming your maiden name as a woman or completely finding a new symbolizes a fresh start and it offers you independence.
Here are 5 reasons why you should change your name after divorce:
1. A fresh start
If you have been dealing with a lot of years of unhappiness, your time to shine has come. You should do whatever makes you happy. Try new hobbies, make new friends, move or redecorate. Do small and simple things that will help you acknowledge the beauty of your fresh start.
2. Reconnecting with your roots
Divorce is a great opportunity to rediscover yourself and your roots. In case you choose to recover your maiden name, you will feel a deep connection with your family and heritage. It will feel like going back home after a long, long time being away.
3. Emotional closure
If you don’t want to be remembered as your ex-husband’s wife, changing your name will help you close a chapter in your life. That way, you will also set some limits for those around you, who will need to adapt and respect your wishes. If you aren’t comfortable with your partner’s name but you also don’t want to go back to your maiden name, you should opt for a new one. Do some research and go crazy. Who cares? You need to put yourself first.
4. Professional considerations
In case you want to revitalize your career, changing your name is a great idea. It can be a strategic move that will help you gain a fresh perspective. However, before doing it for professional considerations, it’s essential to plan how you will manage the transition.
5. Symbol of transformation
Changing your name can be a symbol of your transformation. You can leave your past behind while embracing the new start we already talked about. It’s a way to reflect the changes you’ve gone through and the person you’ve become.
Are you unhappy in your marriage? Or do you feel you deserve better? Don’t hesitate and listen to your heart, because it never lies. Don’t waste your time and life by trying to change a person or a relationship that simply doesn’t work as wanted. Be courageous enough to set boundaries and do whatever is best for yourself.
Before leaving, make sure you check out a great book about divorce that can be found on Amazon. It’s called “The Divorce Party: A Novel” and it will make you instantly feel better about everything going on in your life right now, in case you are planning a divorce. Even if you are just curious about the subject, the novel is also great for entertainment reasons. It’s a multigenerational story that will make you laugh. Here is the audio version of the book. You can listen to it while cooking or cleaning, in case you don’t want to discover it the classic way. Enjoy!
Are you interested in learning more about this topic? You should also read: 8 Things You MUST Do To Avoid Divorce.
