These toxic behaviors are not part of a loving relationship!
Being in love is a wonderful thing! All the butterflies you feel in your stomach and the thrills you get from this connection might be some of the most intense life experiences. But love is also tricky, especially if you are not sure if your partner feels the same.
Sometimes you think they do, but other times you are left wondering. Hopefully, you can be sure your partner loves you if these toxic behaviors are not part of your routine.
Be careful about how they treat you since this is extremely important. People often forget to do this, and they end up not understanding how they were not aware earlier that the relationship is not working anymore.
So, are the following toxic behaviors present in your relationship? Read on and find out!
1. They make you feel alone and insecure
Take a second and try to remember how you feel when you are near your partner. Are they playing mind games? Are they keeping secrets? Are they dismissing your feelings? If they are doing any of these things, keep in mind that these are toxic behaviors, and a loving partner would never do something like this.
When someone loves you, they will do their best to make you feel secure because they want you to be aware that your relationship is a safe space. Physically, mentally, and emotionally, they will be there for you and will do the best they can.
A partner is a companion who is ready to navigate through life’s joys and struggles by your side. They will never miss the chance to tell you how beautiful or handsome you are. They will never put you down.
2. They keep score
Forgiveness and understanding are the pillars that keep alive any healthy relationship. If you were ever wondering if your partner truly loves you or not, try to see if these two traits are something that is guiding your relationship.
If they ever keep score and use your past mistakes as ammunition during your arguments, understand that this is one of the most toxic behaviors, and you should reconsider the relationship or at least have a talk about what is going on.
Always bringing up past mistakes and using them to manipulate or shame you will destroy any trace of trust and will create a huge power imbalance. Love isn’t about winning arguments or keeping track of every time someone’s been wrong. Instead, it is all about mutual respect, growth, and being able to forgive.
If your partner loves you, this means they’ll never see your relationship as a competition, so they will never try to keep score. Are they doing this?
3. They are trying to change you
Ok, if this is happening in your relationship, your partner is exhibiting one of the most toxic behaviors, and this is a huge red flag. When someone loves you, they want you with all of your values, passions, and unique personality traits because, in the end, they define you. All of these things make you the person you are.
A partner who tries to mold you into their ideal version of you is not a person who appreciates you, and of all toxic behaviors, this one is one that attacks your core. If they suggest healthier habits or different ways to handle situations without trying to convince you to abandon dreams or passions, this might be an acceptable thing, because most probably they do this because they care.
Partners should try to understand one another, and many times this means also accepting the other person’s quirks and imperfections.
A loving partner is one who is ready to take you as you are so you can work together and become better people.
4. They are keeping secrets
How often are you thinking about this? Wondering if your life partner is hiding various thighs from you? Also known as keeping secrets. This can be a silent killer of a relationship, and you should be sure if this is happening or not. Why? Because this is one of the toxic behaviors that should be avoided when people love each other.
Imagine this: How would you feel if your partner randomly disappeared for a couple of days and when they returned, no questions were answered because they would try to avoid the subject as much as possible? This is for sure not a comfortable scenario, and it can plant the seed of distrust that will grow and grow and ultimately bloom into the end of your relationship.
When a partner hides things, no matter how small, it will make you feel that they are slowly but surely distancing themselves from you. A loving relationship is based on trust, and when trust is missing, it is easy to see where the relationship is heading.
And this is not about oversharing every detail of daily life but about a relationship where secrets are not present. You should be able to talk about anything with your partner, and they should feel comfortable with this too.
5. They are constantly putting their needs before yours
Balance is incredibly important. Mastering the ability to maintain balance will get you far in life, and this easily applies to relationships. When balance exists, there is less ground for toxic behaviors to grow, and this is why you should aim to achieve this. Now, perfect balance is not something real, but trying to be as close to this as possible is the secret of many lifelong relationships.
A loving partner will never ignore the other’s feelings or desires. But if your partner is always putting their needs first and never cares about how you feel, they are showing some toxic behaviors. This is not normal in a healthy relationship, and you should pay attention to how they see you.
True love isn’t selfish. Partners who truly care for each other will try to make each other happy because this is a natural expression of their love. But when one person consistently puts their needs first, this will lead to resentment, frustration, and emotional distance.
6. They are pushing your boundaries
The concept of boundaries is everywhere, but there is a very good reason for this. A relationship with no boundaries is a relationship that is meant to end, and most of the time not on the best terms.
No matter how close two people are, there should always exist a space between them, and this space is possible by strong boundaries. We all have our limits, and it is important to communicate them to our partners.
Unfortunately, not respecting boundaries is another one of the toxic behaviors that destroy relationships.
Imagine that you need some alone time after a very stressful event. Now imagine that your partner is not okay with giving you this, and they want to be there with you even after you tell them that this is what you need and what’s best for you.
This is not how healthy, loving relationships work, and when they are not able to respect your boundaries, it is clear that they are not the best partners.
If you want to learn how to handle toxic people, this book might help you: The Highly Sensitive Person’s Guide to Dealing with Toxic People: How to Reclaim Your Power from Narcissists and Other Manipulators
You should also read: How to Handle a Narcissist: 10 Practical Tips for Everyday Interactions
