There are many reasons why men say no to intimacy!
Something tells me you wish you didn’t have to search for this topic, but life happens and sometimes you find yourself on a dry spell. S*x is normal, especially in a long-lasting relationship. It’s as important as having things in common, supporting one another, communicating effectively, and doing things together.
However, we live in a society where we were told that men should be ready for action 24/7, but that’s simply not true. Many people think their significant others don’t find them attractive anymore because they say “not tonight” more often than they wish to hear.
If you have similar thoughts, let me tell you this: it’s not about you, it’s him. There are many psychological reasons why men say no to intimacy, and we’re going to discuss all of them today.
It doesn’t matter if you gained a few pounds, dyed your hair the wrong shade, or didn’t wear the special outfit he loves so much. The fact that he refuses you every now and then is more about his mental health than you.
But you already got the point, so let’s take a look at some of the most common psychological reasons why men say no to intimacy.
1. Low self-esteem
Everyone can suffer from low self-esteem, regardless of age, s*x, or gender. Unfortunately, if this happens to your man, you could experience the side effects too. He’s probably struggling with body image, feeling like he’s not enough, or maybe he has a fear of rejection.
Dealing with these is pretty hard and leads to reduced desire or completely avoiding intimacy altogether. Moreover, these feelings could also create frustration, and tension, and diminish overall relationship satisfaction, as psychologists say.
You can discuss it with your partner, because supportive communication, self-care, and therapy are ways to boost confidence and bring back the spark.
…Did you know that another reason why men say no to intimacy is lack of exercise? Keep reading to find out more about it!
2. Not enough body movement
If you move your body regularly, you already know how important it is for your muscles, joints, and mental health. It makes you feel good, it releases endorphins, it boosts your blood circulation and stamina, and your energy levels will be through the roof.
Moreover, it can also help you tone up and make your body look better, which in turn will improve your self-esteem. The more confident you are, the better you’ll feel, and the more you’ll want to give back. That also includes your bedroom desire.
When you feel good in your skin, you feel more attractive, so you’re more likely to want to get frisky between the sheets with your special someone.
On the other hand, a lack of exercise could lead to weight gain, reduced cardiovascular health, lower libido and performance issues, and also hormonal imbalances. Moreover, it can also impact mental health and increase stress and anxiety.
So, my ladies, if your men say no to intimacy, you can tell them to go for a walk, try a yoga routine, or go to a class together. It can do wonders for your relationship and bedroom life!
3. Priorities have changed
Because of the hurried nature of life, time between the sheets may be neglected. It may not be his first thought to get home from work and start taking each others’ clothes off, especially if you have multiple members in your household.
At the end of a long day, after working over eight hours, you might settle in to watch TV, head straight to bed, or enjoy some quality time with loved ones. But sometimes, all you really want is to collapse into a deep, much-needed sleep.
While it’s not pleasant to admit that sometimes men say no to intimacy, we should normalize the idea that your priorities will inevitably shift throughout your lifetime, including your relationship.
Don’t worry, your relationship won’t end badly. All you have to do is focus on quality rather than quantity and schedule date nights where you get to explore each other’s bodies.
Since you make appointments for so many things, why should intimacy be different? Of course, spontaneity is always appreciated, but if you find it hard to make time for one another, this could be helpful.
4. Unresolved relationship issues
While some people can get frisky even if they had a major fight only a couple of minutes before (it’s not called makeup s*x for nothing), others don’t even want to see their partners after fighting. At least not for the following hour.
Dear ladies, if you feel like your men say no to intimacy, take a look at how your relationships have been lately. Did you fight a lot? How big was the conflict? Did any of you apologize or try to make things right?
Unresolved issues in your relationship hurt both of you, as well as your bedroom time. As you can imagine, lack of trust, emotional conflicts, or unspoken grievances can cause distance, making it harder to connect physically.
Tackle these issues calmly and focus on communicating effectively instead of resorting to shouting. It might not work instantly, but it will benefit you in the long run.
5. Work and money
As much as we might like to keep that incredible spark we had at the beginning of the relationship, things don’t always work out the way we want them to. Life happens, stress comes into play, and our romance can go down the drain at times.
If you’re wondering what are some of life’s biggest stressors, the answer is simple: work and money. Being fired or not having enough money to pay rent or buy food is a definite romance killer. Anxiety is high, and the last thing someone wants to do is get frisky with their loved one.
There are common reasons why men say no to intimacy, and if this is your case, team up with your significant other to find a solution, especially if you’re in a long-term relationship or marriage.
If work isn’t the problem, the reason for stress is different; honest communication and small but active steps toward solving the issues can be very beneficial.
6. Performance anxiety
Another reason why men say no to intimacy is performance anxiety. They might have high expectations of themselves or think you expect fireworks from your steamy session, so they put a lot of pressure on themselves. Instead of potentially being disappointed, they prefer to avoid the special activity altogether.
A vicious cycle of stress brought on by this dread may result in physical problems like er*ctile dysfunction or early ej***lation, which will only make the anxiety worse. It can eventually cause a decline in bedroom desire and self-confidence.
Therapy, relaxation methods, and open communication with a partner can all help resolve these issues. Moreover, these tips could enhance emotional bonding and regain self-assurance in private settings.
Conclusion
Understanding the psychological reasons why men may avoid intimacy highlights the importance of approaching these issues with compassion and understanding. By fostering open communication, building trust, and seeking professional help, couples can address these challenges effectively.
This approach is all about creating emotional connection and helps restore intimacy. Don’t forget to prioritize each other’s mental and emotional well-being, because it can strengthen their relationship and deepen your bond.
Do you know any other psychological reasons why men say no to intimacy? Leave them in the comments below and join the conversation! If you want to learn a few tips on how to improve your bedroom time, this book is a fabulous jumpstart! Until next time, here’s another great article from Psychology Diary to check out: 6 Toxic Behaviors Your Partner Would Avoid If They Really Loved You
