1. They Don’t Own Up To Their Emotions
Rather than owning up to their feelings, they behave as though these feelings are coming from your part. It’s a typical case of projection, and they’re projecting their feelings and thoughts onto you.
For instance, someone who’s angry but won’t take any responsibility for it might switch the tables on you and accuse you of being mad at them.
It might be something as subtle as, “Are you mad at me?” or a bit more pointed: “You’ve been moody all day.” You’ll find yourself defending and justifying, and often, this will go just around in circles. This is because it’s not about you. Be clear on what’s yours and what’s theirs.
If you feel like you’re defending yourself too often against accusations or questions that don’t seem to fit, you might be being projected onto. You never have to explain, justify, defend yourself, or deal with a misfired accusation.
11 Responses
thanks very helpful
Thank you
Wow this was really helpful, I think I’ve been in a whole lot of toxic relationships nearly most of my life, maybe I’m someone they feed off of? Anyway now I think I can steer clear of them better now!
So thank you! Sincerely!
Very interesting gave me something to really think about giving me some tools
This is fantastic information. It confirmed some things for me for my thesis.
My husband is a very toxic person. I always wanted to be right.
Speaking as one who grew up with it, you become desensitized after while. Always striving to get that positive reinforcement you so desperately want, only to get something finally positive followed directly by a negative. IE. “Gee that looks nice on you, but would have looked better on (someone else) and where are the white gloves?” Or “you’ll never amount to anything, you take after the bad side of the family” . So it was easy to fall into another Narcissist trap for my relationships. I have learned the hard way, RUN don’t walk away from these types of people. They are toxic. Unfortunately for me they are family. My deliverance – moving 300 miles away and only visiting once a year for a week.
Yes, I have a friend that has insulted me and my family for years YET, his family is wonderful. Well, I told him to stop taking his insecurity out on me and ended our friendship of 40 years. Not missing this toxic unhappy individual at all
Years ago I had toxic relatives basically Inlaw relatives, and I read a book about toxic people which was actually (I just can’t remember the name of it now) Very good at identifying and dealing with toxic individuals ( And I’ll just mention now that they have passed Show no longer in my life); at the time it wasn’t like I could totally avoid them and dealing with him in anyway only brought more toxic backlash. They were Very set in their ways and very manipulative as well, and being toxic was a part of their personality traits. I did like what you wrote here in your suggestions to keep in mind because there are always toxic people around.
Nearly all of the toxic people in my life are no longer in my life. This article is excellent (wish I had access to this information years ago). It is heart-warming and reassuring to see the posts to this article. I wish all of you a very good life from here out.
The very best thing you could do for your mental health is get out of a toxic relationship. I left my narcissistic ex-husband three years ago and have never felt better. You never realize how they drag you down in life, emotionally, spiritually, and even your body starts to ache just being around the toxicity. Break free my friends it’s the best feeling in the world.