Are these resolutions a bad thing?
New Year’s resolutions have always been a big thing, but psychology tells us very clearly that most of them are set up to fail. There are many reasons behind this, and you are about to find out more about them.
Try to think about the last time any of your resolutions became true. Probably most of them were forgotten, and you just lived your life like they never existed. This is not because you are lazy or unable to respect a plan. No. This is just how things are, and you should never blame yourself for not keeping up with those intentions.
Also, this tradition is a huge stress factor, with 61.7% of the respondents of a survey led by Forbes Health/OnePoll in 2023 saying that they feel pressured to set a New Year’s resolution.
What can you do? Stay informed about the topic and get another perspective about this whole thing. So, are New Year’s resolutions a bad thing? Let’s find out!
Why do we make them?
What’s the reason behind all of this? What makes us set up these plans that seem to never work out? This is an interesting question, and the answer to it is mostly rooted in tradition. These resolutions are a ritual we want to respect because this is what we are taught to do.
If you look closer, there is no logical explanation behind it. After all, you can set up goals all year round, right? But, even if it seems like it, there are psychological reasons that motivate us to make New Year’s resolutions.
We always feel better when we get a chance for a new start, and the start of a new year is the best opportunity for that. Also, this is a time when we tend to reflect on our lives, and this might make it easier for us to look at ourselves and see what we are missing.
When something is ending, it opens up the way for new beginnings. We all know that, and we are drawn to it. This is why this tradition is so important to us, and we can find it in many cultures around the globe.
But let’s get back to what we were discussing and find out why the plans we make when a new year begins seem to always fail.
We are not asking ourselves why we are making those plans
Ok, so the new year is finally here, and we have an entire list of things we want to do. Maybe we want to lose some weight, learn a new language, learn how to play a musical instrument, and learn how to socialize better; no matter what your goals are, it is important to be aware of why you are setting up these goals.
The problem is that many times our resolutions are just things we should do and not things we want to do. Change is hard, and when you want to change, the pain you feel from not changing should be greater than the pain you feel when you start the changing process. This is how we work, and understanding this gives you a huge advantage.
Your internal motivations for changing need to be completely understood because this is how you get to the heart of the whole reasoning behind these resolutions. Why do you want to change? Is this something you truly want? These are the questions you should ask yourself if you want to have more success when planning big changes in the upcoming year.
Your goals are vague or unrealistic
Let’s say that New Year’s Resolutions like “I want to get healthier” sound great in theory, but they are not clear enough to be successful. If you want to start changing something, you need to be specific because that is the only way you will be able to tackle all the different steps that lead to the final result.
In the example we gave here, you need to ask yourself what healthier means more exactly. Without specific, actionable steps, such vague intentions become overwhelming and almost impossible to follow through.
The same goes for resolutions that are overly ambitious. You can’t just set unrealistic goals like “Lose 30 pounds in a month” or “Work out every day” and expect them to become a reality. This is simply impossible and can lead to feelings of guilt and frustration. These are all strong emotions that can derail you from your plan even if you have the best intentions.
The key to making goals stick is to focus on what’s both specific and achievable. Instead of saying, “Get in shape,” you can try to approach this in another way and set your goal as”Go for a 20-minute walk three times a week.” This is so much easier to follow and can help you to reach your goal.
You are not ready to change
Maybe you believe you want to change, but one of the main reasons we are not committing to our New Year’s Resolutions is the fact that we are not really prepared for a change. Wanting to start something new or change something about yourself is more complex than most of us think, and the simple intention of doing so is not enough.
Changing is a whole process, and it has more steps. In psychology we know them as the “Stages of Change,” and this is a model that shows us when someone is ready to take this big step.
There are five steps as it follows: precontemplation (when you are slowly becoming aware that you might need to make a change), contemplation (when you are actively thinking about the change), preparation (when you are creating a plan for the change), action (when you are making the change), and maintenance (when you are trying to maintain the change).
According to experts, those who stick to their resolutions are those who are in the action phase when they decide to make the resolutions, while those who fail are not. This shows that those who set New Year’s resolutions on the spur of the moment are unlikely to achieve what they want.
You have an all-or-nothing thinking
You might have some admirable goals, but when you try to stick to them and the slightest inconvenience makes you go mad and give up, you need to know that this is not a healthy way of thinking.
Life is unpredictable, and you need to leave room for when the inevitable ups and downs of real life happen. Maybe you have a great plan, but sometimes it can fail. However, this should not make you feel like you’ve failed yourself.
This perfectionist approach doesn’t account for human nature, and rigid goals are not meant for success. Even worse, expectations this high can easily become overwhelming, and in the end, this is how you sabotage yourself.
The result is that many people abandon their resolutions entirely, often feeling worse about themselves than when they started. This is why you should try a more sustainable approach and try to be more flexible. Doing this will help you keep your mind clear and follow your goals.
If you want to organize your New Year’s resolution, better journaling can be an amazing idea: Lined Journal Notebook 256 Pages A5 Hardcover
You should also read: 5 Warning Signs of Childhood Trauma in Adult Life
