Do you sabotage yourself? See here what it means and why it happens to so many people.
If you are a reader of our page, you probably heard a lot of psychological terms, including this one of “sabotaging.” In today’s article, we will dig deeper into this topic with the purpose of better understanding it, because unfortunately, it can happen to a lot of us, especially to anxious individuals.
Self-sabotage is the act of someone impeding their progress. It may come as a surprise, yet some individuals work against their own long-term objectives and well-meaning intentions. People’s relationships and careers can suffer, as well as almost every other aspect of their lives when they engage in such destructive activity.
You also sabotage yourself if…
1. You are more concerned about what others think about you
Finding the guts to follow your passion without worrying about what other people may say is often difficult. But in the end, only you will be able to figure out how effectively you lived your life when you find yourself a decade from now and reflect on it.
This is probably the number one warning sign that you sabotage yourself, and it may be time to stop. Take a moment and think about what matters most to you without thinking about others. Forget everyone around you and focus on yourself. Do you want to dye your hair purple? Just do it. Wear those shoes and that fancy jacket. Take that job or relocate to another city.
2. You’re keen on doing everything perfect
One will experience delays and setbacks if they hold themselves to an unattainable standard. Although hoping for everything to go according to plan without any problems seems like a good idea, perfectionism impedes accomplishment.
Perfectionists crumble when things do go wrong, which they always will because absolutely nothing in this world is perfect. That’s why they experience humiliation in the end. Easily depressed, they always feel as though they are failing everyone. Furthermore, perfectionism and procrastination are pretty much the same. When a perfectionist believes they can’t do a task flawlessly, they frequently put it off.
3. Procrastination is your number-one friend
As we previously mentioned, you may find that you sabotage yourself if you constantly think that you’re going to disappoint others. You won’t succeed in doing that task if you keep postponing it, and you will probably end up being a failure.
This mostly happens to individuals who were neglected in their childhood or to those who weren’t appreciated when it was time for it. Some kind words and “I am proud of you” can change a lot. But that doesn’t mean you must wait for others to tell them to you; you can always pat your back and say it. It’s very uplifting!
4. You complain, but you never take action
“Will things be any different tomorrow?” It’s simple to become inspired momentarily and make a promise to yourself that things will be different from now on. How often have you considered ideas like these? Will you follow your meal plan, work out daily, begin setting aside 10% of your income, or spend 30 minutes a day in meditation? It takes more than just thinking to bring about change.
We hate to break it to you, but unless you do something to change the way you sabotage yourself, everything will stay the same. Start small and change what you can on the way to the top. Try to do a small thing every day and write somewhere to keep you motivated.
5. You struggle with setting boundaries
You may be trying to sabotage yourself if you tend to be a people-pleaser which leads you to say “yes” to too many requests. In other parts of life such as having too many drinks on a night out, it might indicate a lack of moderation.
Other, less aggressive methods of “overdoing it” include working out at the gym until you are exhausted or staying up late watching TV. Overcommitting frequently hides an underlying fear of failure, even if it may appear to be a strong will to succeed.
6. You don’t know how to communicate properly with others
The art of communication isn’t easy, and a lot of individuals have issues with expressing their emotions or communicating their needs. And unfortunately, this is another way in which you can sabotage yourself.
For example, you need a helping hand at work because you must finish the task and the deadline is sometime tomorrow. But you’re probably too afraid to ask because you will be considered weak and not suitable for the job.
Our inability to communicate is frequently the result of self-criticism. We fear that by seeking assistance, we are drawing attention to our shortcomings. Moreover, poor communication can be detrimental to our interpersonal bonds. Even worse, it could foster an environment where imposter syndrome thrives. You live in constant terror of being “found out,” since nobody knows what you’re going through.
Can you stop self-sabotaging?
We’d recommend talking to your therapist about self-sabotage because they’re supposed to guide you through healthy ways of overcoming and becoming the best version of yourself. While it’s not easy to stop sabotaging yourself, you’re still on your own to do the main work. Here are a few tips to consider in this process:
Keep track of what you’re doing
Journaling is probably the best way to connect to your inner self and your feelings and emotions. If you keep writing about the same issues as you work toward your goals it means you still sabotage yourself. Discuss these ideas with a therapist or coach. They might be able to assist you in overcoming them.
Trauma from childhood or the past can occasionally lead to self-destructive behavior. Perhaps we’ll evolve defense mechanisms to protect ourselves from more damage. Unfortunately, stopping these habits is harder as they outlive their usefulness. You can have the underlying emotional suffering resolved by working with a therapist.
Stop perfectionistic thinking
People who self-sabotage frequently strive for perfection. Perhaps you obsess over every little thing and demand perfection. Instead of aiming for perfection, strive for excellence. Make little adjustments and track your progress as you move closer to your intended outcome.
Practice mindfulness
Changing self-defeating behavioral habits may be quite unpleasant. They could be coping strategies to assist you in overcoming previous experiences. Alternatively, they could have stopped you from accomplishing very meaningful goals.
You could see how these patterns affect your romantic, emotional, and professional relationships if you began to examine them. It’s important to develop the capacity to accept these uncomfortable emotions and treat oneself gently when they occur.
It’s a terrific idea to meditate and practice mindful breathing. It can facilitate the development of self-compassion as well as hasten the breakdown of recurring habits.
…and if you want you get an extra helping hand from this amazing book called Stop Self-Sabotage: Six Steps to Unlock Your True Motivation, Harness Your Willpower, and Get Out of Your Own Way that costs just $2.09 on Amazon for the Kindle edition. A PhD writes it so you don’t have to worry that it isn’t reliable.
Remember that self-sabotaging takes a lot of work to change it!
It takes a lot of time and effort to overcome self-sabotaging therefore you have to be patient with yourself. If you’re not currently seeing a therapist, you should know that dialectical behavior therapy and cognitive-behavioral therapy are two therapeutic modalities that can assist you in overcoming self-defeating patterns and adopting a more health-conscious lifestyle.
Are you struggling with understanding yourself lately, but you don’t know how to find the right therapist? Read this article Best Therapist Near Me: 5 Expert Tips to Find the Right One.
