How Does Betrayal Trauma Work? Can It Be Completely Healed?
When your partner or your parents violate your trust, you may experience betrayal trauma. It refers to the pain experienced after betrayal by a romantic partner, a parent, or a childhood caregiver. This kind of trauma not only influences your relationships with others but also has a huge impact on your mental health, significantly affecting your self-esteem. Experiencing betrayal makes it hard to form attachments based on trust.
Why Would You Accept A Betrayal?
Even though it may seem hard to believe, people often tend to accept betrayal to ensure their safety. Relying on someone for love and protection can sometimes be comfortable enough to ignore the effects of trauma. When you let others repeatedly disappoint you, you may accept the idea of experiencing future behaviors that can degrade your self-esteem and emotional well-being.
Betrayal Trauma Theory
Jennifer Freyd first introduced betrayal trauma as a concept in 1991. She did a lot of research on how individuals respond to and cope with traumatic experiences involving betrayal by a trusted person or intuition. The theory explains how betrayal victims survive and maintain social relationships after experiencing significant disappointment.
Not all traumatic experiences are remembered in the same way. Jennifer Freyd noticed the changes in a victim’s behavior after betrayal. When a trusted figure, such as a romantic partner or parent, does something that we didn’t expect and disappoints us, the recovery process is hard, and sometimes, it’s even impossible to heal completely.
Remember that when you rely on someone for basic needs, you might accept betrayal to ensure your safety. But is it the right choice? Clearly, not. As long as you accept betrayal, you don’t value yourself like you should. The degradation of self-esteem and emotional well-being are two of the most dangerous effects of trauma that can significantly impact our future.
Understanding The Theory
In a relationship, someone who lacks financial stability may be scared by the idea of being alone. So, for this kind of person, it may also seem easier to accept betrayal.
Similarly, children depend on their parents until they grow up and take care of themselves alone.
Impact Of Betrayal Trauma
Betrayal Trauma can have an impact on one’s physical and mental well-being, and its specific effects may differ depending on the type of trauma. Don’t forget that not everyone reacts to trauma in the same way.
Are you feeling sad and disappointed, and are anxiety and depression starting to take control of your body? Are you finding it hard to form relationships based on attachment? Are you lacking self-esteem, and it gets hard to love yourself? You may experience betrayal trauma. Continue reading to find out what the signs are.
Here Are 7 Signs You May Also Experience Betrayal Trauma:
1. Nightmares
Nightmares are a common symptom for those who have experienced betrayal trauma. Usually, these kinds of dreams are reflecting unresolved issues from the past. Victims experience dreams where they are being hurt or abandoned by someone they trust. The lifelike nature of these dreams can be difficult to handle, generating anxiety. It gets worse when some individuals dream about the same scenarios multiple times. The repetition makes recovery even harder.
2. Anxiety and depression
The anxiety caused by a trusted person is characterized by constant fear. Victims may experience:
- Intrusive thoughts: distressing thoughts about the traumatic events
- Hypervigilance: constantly being on alert for signs of further danger
- Avoidance: avoiding everything that reminds them of the betrayal, such as places or people
Not just the main traumatic events that took place in the past, but also the fear of constantly having the same scary dreams can create anticipatory anxiety and impact one’s overall health.
The uncontrolled emotions can lead to depression, making the victim feel sad, hopeless, and desperate. Arriving at this stage makes the healing process slower. When depressed, individuals cannot enjoy the activities they used to have an interest in anymore. Also, they may experience a lack of energy.
3. Physical pain
Emotional and physical health are interconnected. Therefore, individuals with betrayal trauma can experience headaches, muscle pain, and gastrointestinal issues. Research has found that staying active helps a lot in the recovery process. If you feel that you are losing control of your emotions and start to feel serious physical pain, make sure to stay as active as you can. Keeping your mind and body busy is a significant step you need to take in order to get better and feel better.
If you don’t like any sports and even daily walks are a challenge for you, we recommend you buy a treadmill. On Amazon, you can find various treadmill models. According to its reviews, this is one of the best. Set a daily target and stick to the challenge. In the first days, you’ll most likely want to quit, but if you keep going, you’ll see significant improvements in your physical health and, more importantly, in your emotional health.
4. Panic attacks
Victims of betrayal trauma can experience panic attacks, which are triggered by reminders of past traumatic events or can be caused by an uncontrolled fear of the same thing happening again. Panic attacks usually also trigger physical symptoms. These are the most common:
- shortness of breath
- chest pain
- dizziness
- excessive sweating
- palpitations
5. Trust issues
Once you experience betrayal trauma, it will be almost impossible for you to trust others. Therefore, constantly doubting the intentions and honesty of your family and friends can be exhausting. The tendency to be overly protective is a common action for those who experience traumatic events and affects social interactions and destroys relationships. Avoidance will only make everything worse.
Living with a constant fear of being disappointed again is not a solution. The reality must be faced, and mental health should be kept under control. If improvements cannot be noticed, it’s essential to get help from a professional.
6. Eating disorders
Emotional distress can lead to disordered eating behaviors, such as:
- Anorexia Nervosa: extreme weight loss caused by restricting food intake
- Bulimia Nervosa: binge eating followed by vomiting
- Binge Eating Disorder: consuming large amounts of food in a short period, often in response to emotional distress
7. Low self-esteem
After experiencing betrayal by a trusted individual, most people feel worthless and deal with a significant lack of confidence. These profound feelings can negatively impact an individual’s future by lowering their self-esteem. Victims with low self-esteem are often highly self-critical, judging themselves and their actions and believing they are not worth it or good enough.
Are you dealing with betrayal trauma?
If you have experienced more than one of these signs, you are probably dealing with betrayal trauma. Can you identify what exact action from the past caused it? Anyway, you should see a professional. It’s essential to know what causes your symptoms before treating them in an inappropriate manner.
Also, feel free to come back to the comment section and let us know who disappointed you and how you managed to regain your self-confidence. Was it difficult?
Before leaving, make sure you check out another related article that can be found on our website, Psychology Diary. It’s called: 10 Subtle Signs A Past Trauma Is Affecting Your Marriage. Past traumas can have a huge impact on our present lives. Past experiences influence the way we behave and control our emotions.
