How are you pushing your adult children away?
As parents, we might make mistakes that we don’t realize we’re making simply because we think this is the best approach and the best behavior toward our children. But according to psychologists, a lot of parents are pushing their adult children away in ways they don’t realize. Being overprotective, too attached, or even co-dependent on your children might damage the relationship between the two of you pretty hard.
But many parents ask themselves why my son or daughter isn’t interested in talking to me. Am I doing something wrong? These are two of the most common questions parents ask themselves, not only during the childhood of their kids but also throughout the adult period. Since it’s a hot topic and it’s worth a serious discussion in today’s article, we will see in what ways you’re pushing your adult children away and how you can stop it.
I consider my parents “authoritarian” because they always knew better and as I grew up I had to fight about my cloths, my friends, my hair style and even my glasses. There was no support of “ME”. When I went to college I never called home. A friend caught me one day and told me my parents were on the phone. I said to tell them I’d call back. He said that they told him to drag me to the phone with whatever force necessary. I answered and my mother said, in her clenched teeth manner, “Just when were you planning ion calling us?”
Years later, when I was grown and married and living 6 hours away, I called my folks a few times, so I could tell them something. The next day I tried again but couldn’t reach them. I called my sister who lived another couple of hours from my parents, to see if she knew why I couldn’t reach them and she said, “They’re here.” They had gone to visit my sister and would have had to drive within a mile of my house and weren’t going to even stop by. so, they ended up stopping by on their way home but just for a couple of hours before they left to go home.
One interesting thing I realized after my father passed away. Most things I did, in order to get recognized at work, I did so that I could tell my father to show him how successful I was so I could gain his love and respect. In later years I would do something I was proud of and think to call my father and remember he was not around any more. I would think of calling my mother but I needed the recognition from my father. That’s when I started to live my life for ME !!