Your feedback might hurt them
Another way you’re pushing your adult children away is by being too much of a critic. If you are constantly criticizing everything your son or daughter does, it won’t help with whatever they are now going through. Perhaps there is a problem at work, or perhaps their kids are difficult and the situation is complicated. But regardless of our age, we all look to our parents for support and acceptance.
What are your options here? Express your admiration for your daughter’s parenting skills or your pride in your son’s achievement at work. Negative “feedback” should be kept to yourself.
They say communication is the key, but sometimes we feel helpless when it’s time to have serious conversations with our loved ones. If you are one of these people and you feel like you’re pushing your adult children away, this amazing book might help you. Nonviolent Communication: A Language of Life: Life-Changing Tools for Healthy Relationships scores 4.3 on Goodreads, and the paperback version is only $10.99 on Amazon. Catch it while it lasts!
I consider my parents “authoritarian” because they always knew better and as I grew up I had to fight about my cloths, my friends, my hair style and even my glasses. There was no support of “ME”. When I went to college I never called home. A friend caught me one day and told me my parents were on the phone. I said to tell them I’d call back. He said that they told him to drag me to the phone with whatever force necessary. I answered and my mother said, in her clenched teeth manner, “Just when were you planning ion calling us?”
Years later, when I was grown and married and living 6 hours away, I called my folks a few times, so I could tell them something. The next day I tried again but couldn’t reach them. I called my sister who lived another couple of hours from my parents, to see if she knew why I couldn’t reach them and she said, “They’re here.” They had gone to visit my sister and would have had to drive within a mile of my house and weren’t going to even stop by. so, they ended up stopping by on their way home but just for a couple of hours before they left to go home.
One interesting thing I realized after my father passed away. Most things I did, in order to get recognized at work, I did so that I could tell my father to show him how successful I was so I could gain his love and respect. In later years I would do something I was proud of and think to call my father and remember he was not around any more. I would think of calling my mother but I needed the recognition from my father. That’s when I started to live my life for ME !!