Psychology Diary

The First Step Toward Change Is Awareness

  • Home
  • Relationships
  • Mental Health
  • Expert Tips
  • Life
  • Family
  • Marriage

If Your Partner Is Using These Two Words, A Breakup Might Be Inevitable

February 18, 2021 · Relationships

Relationships are complicated and require a lot of time and effort, but at the end of the day, it’s all worth it. Learning how to navigate a relationship is not an easy task, but there are some subtle signs that will help you understand where things are headed. As humans, we tend to ignore these signs either because we’re afraid of what we might see or because we’re not ready to face the truth just yet.

However, the most important sign you could ever have is the way a person speaks. In fact, a recent study made by researchers at the University of Texas has shown that a breakup might be inevitable if your partner is using these two words more often.

Read on which two words could lead to a potential breakup and find out why!

1. The two words.

In their study, researchers at the University of Texas examined more than 1 million posts on Reddit and 6,800 users who joined the r/BreakUps subreddit. They found out that there were some differences in the language before the time of the breakup.

According to their findings, the changes started three months before the breakup and lasted for 6 more months after the separation. The two words that were used the most during that time were ‘I’ and ‘we’. As researchers have mentioned, these differences in language were also found in other, unrelated threads, not just the r/BreakUps subreddit. They published the study in the Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences.

As the study’s lead author, Sarah Seraj, a doctoral candidate in psychology at UT Austin has explained, it’s very intriguing how a breakup can affect us long before it’s going to happen.

“We don’t really notice how many times we are using prepositions, articles, or pronouns, but these function words get altered in a way when you’re going through a personal upheaval that can tell us a lot about our emotional and psychological state,” she continued saying.

The researchers have discovered that before the breakups, the posts became much more personal and introspective, and less analytic and conventional.

According to Sarah Seraj, these signs could indicate that your partner has a heavy cognitive load on their shoulders. Additionally, it might signify that someone is going through something, which probably made them become more focused on themselves. She also added that the word ‘I’ is often associated with depression and sorrow, which makes it understandable why people who are depressed find it very hard to focus on others.

These language differences tend to disappear after six months post-separation, but in some rare cases, they lasted up to a year after the relationship ended. According to the researchers, these subjects were “less well-adjusted a year after their breakup compared to short-term posters.”

Read on if you’re curious to find out what other subtle signs could indicate an inevitable breakup!

Next, unfortunately, actions can also be louder than words…..

© Shutterstock

2. You and your partner always walk out during fights.

According to Amanda Lopez, a licensed marriage and family therapist based in Vista, California, it can be understandable why some people choose to walk out during an ugly fight, but it’s important to understand that this type of behavior could be a recipe for disaster.

Amanda would recommend asking your partner to give you space if that’s what you need, rather than making a habit out of storming out of the room every time you have an argument. Running away from a fight isn’t the solution here. You need to focus on calming your thoughts and cooling down before you get to the discussion again.

Also, walking out during arguments is a sign of immaturity and will eventually lead to even bigger fights. Instead, try being calm, and honest, and let the other person know what you feel. You will appear less dramatic if you learn how to handle them properly. This book may help you understand both yourself and your partner better.

Find out who will be winning next year’s Oscar next…..

3. You/Your partners always play the victim.

It’s not always easy to acknowledge your own mistakes in a relationship, yet it’s very important if you want to have a successful one. If you’re always blaming your partner for everything that’s not going well in your relationship, please don’t be surprised when it will end, apparently out of nowhere.

If you can’t own up to your own mistakes, your conversations will eventually have to suffer, especially when you tend to blame your partner for everything. The other person will feel like they’re always walking on eggshells near you, and I can’t see how this will work out in the future.

According to Amanda Lopez, “Instead, listen to what your partner is saying, and try to see it from their perspective.” If you do this, you’ll find it easier to connect with them and create a stronger bond.

Next, is the grass always greener?…..

© Shutterstock

4. You rely on other people for real intimacy.

Don’t get me wrong, having strong friendships, and people you can rely on outside your romantic relationship is vital, but it’s still important to have real intimacy with your partner. IF you feel the need to run to other people every time you need a shoulder to cry on, it might be a sign that your partner is not a very active part of your overall support system. A healthy relationship is when you can rely on your partner for everything, including the good and the bad stuff.

According to Kathryn Moore, PhD, a psychologist at Providence Saint John’s Child and Family Development Center in Santa Monica, California, “The foundations of a positive relationship are being able to communicate with one another, provide support to each other, and create a place of security.”

At the same time, you should feel safe opening up to your partner because your relationship should be your safe haven. If you find it very difficult to express your feelings when you’re around them, it could be a sign that your relationship is not going in the right direction and you need to do something about it. If you don’t, a breakup might be imminent.

We need to talk about this last one…..

partner
© Shutterstock

5. You’re not communicating enough with your significant other.

In order to have a strong, healthy, and long-lasting relationship, you need to understand that communication is key to achieving it, explains Mayra Mendez, PhD, LMFT, a licensed psychotherapist and program coordinator at Providence Saint John’s Child and Family Development Center. According to Mendez, you need to make sure you’re sharing all your thoughts with your significant other, no matter how big or small they might be.

She always recommends being interested in hearing about your partner’s day, even when they have nothing interesting to share, and make sure you’re also letting them know how your day went. These things might seem unimportant, but it’s the small things that make a relationship thrive, and communication is the most important tool when it comes to healthy, romantic partnerships.

If you manage to talk about the small and apparently unimportant aspects of life, you’ll find it easier to open up about the big ones as well.
You can’t have intimacy in a relationship when there’s no communication.

Make sure to also check: 10 Signs That Indicate You Have Intimacy Issues.

Share this article

Facebook Twitter Pinterest LinkedIn Email

Leave a Reply Cancel reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Search

Latest Posts

  • Two people sitting on a sofa in a quiet, sunlit living room, showing a moment of supportive connection and listening. 9 Things You Should NEVER Say to Someone With Anxiety
  • A tense, high-contrast conversation between two people in a minimalist setting. 5 Body Language Secrets That Reveal Someone Is Lying to You
  • A woman sitting thoughtfully by a window in a soft-lit, modern living room. 8 Signs You Were Raised by an Emotionally Unavailable Parent
  • Surreal illustration of a person looking into a mirror that reflects a golden labyrinth, symbolizing internal complexity. The 6 Most Dangerous Lies We Tell Ourselves Every Day
  • A woman in a peaceful, sunlit room embodying emotional clarity and calm. 10 Things Emotionally Intelligent People NEVER Do
  • A sophisticated woman in her 60s looking out a window in a bright, modern home. 7 Habits That Secretly Destroy Your Mental Health After 60
  • A woman looking distressed and thoughtful during a difficult conversation with a partner in a modern kitchen. 9 Manipulative Phrases Toxic People Use Without You Realizing
  • An adult daughter comforting her elderly father by a sunlit window. 5 Early Warning Signs of Alzheimer's Most People Ignore
  • A person balancing on a thin, fraying shadow thread over a dark blue background. 8 Things Narcissists Say to Keep You Under Control
  • A couple standing far apart in a dimly lit, modern living room, looking away from each other. 6 Silent Signs Your Marriage Is Slowly Falling Apart

Newsletter

Get the latest posts delivered to your inbox.

Related Articles

10 Things Women Do Behind Closed Doors

As you might already know, women are creatures who were not made to be understood.…

Read More →
wealthy

13 Mental Tricks Wealthy People Use

If you think building wealth is only about strategies and luck, let’s change our perspective…

Read More →
selfish partner

10 Red Flags That Suggest You’re the Selfish One in Your Relationship

Are YOU the selfish partner in your relationship?  We all have moments in our relationship…

Read More →
Breakup

Are You Headed Toward a Breakup? Here Are 10 Signs

Breakups aren’t fun. Know the warning signs before it’s too late! Oh, new relationships…how wonderful…

Read More →
you have ADHD

10 Warning Signs You Have ADHD as an Adult

How can you tell if you have ADHD? Read on what doctors have to say…

Read More →
attractive

8 Signs Your Spouse Doesn’t Find You Attractive Anymore

Do you find your partner attractive? There are people who say that attraction fades over…

Read More →
marriage

10 Best Relationship Tips of All Time for Long-Lasting Marriages

Some may not agree but making a marriage work takes time, effort and energy. Once…

Read More →
A couple standing far apart in a dimly lit, modern living room, looking away from each other.

6 Silent Signs Your Marriage Is Slowly Falling Apart

Is your marriage quietly failing? Learn the 6 silent signs of emotional drift, from the…

Read More →
Psychopath Warning Sign

The No.1 Biggest Psychopath Warning Sign: Here’s How They Detect Vulnerability

Watch for these psychopath warning signs and avoid being a target! US Serial killer Ted…

Read More →

Psychology Diary

The First Step Toward Change Is Awareness

Inedit Agency S.R.L.
Bucharest, Romania

contact@psychologydiary.com

Explore

  • About Us
  • Advertiser Disclosure
  • Contact Us
  • Disclaimer
  • Do not sell my personal information
  • Editorial Policy
  • Frequently Asked Questions
  • Privacy Policy
  • Terms and Conditions
  • Subscribe
  • Unsubscribe

Categories

  • Expert Tips
  • Family
  • Life
  • Marriage
  • Mental Health

© 2026 Psychology Diary. All rights reserved.