Do you dream about cheating on your partner?

Don’t worry. I do, too. Let’s set the mood: I’m deeply asleep, comfortable in my nice and clean sheets, having a typical absurd dream as I always have. But all of a sudden, my subconscious goes in a different direction, and now I’m lying in a stranger’s arms.

Even though I know it’s wrong, I can’t seem to make it stop. And I actually enjoy being in someone else’s company. I beg my partner’s forgiveness afterward (in my dream), terrified of losing him, until I wake up, look around, and realize it was only a bad dream.

If you dream about cheating on your partner as well, don’t doubt yourself, because there’s more to the story than vivid images of being with someone else. However, I know what you might be thinking: how could I do something like that? Why would I betray my partner when I love them so much? Am I a bad person? What is wrong with me? STOP!

I mean, just stop! You’re not a bad person; you don’t betray your lover’s trust, and you’ll find out everything in today’s article. I’ve talked to different therapists and relationship experts to find the reasons why you dream about cheating on your partner, and here’s the tea:

1. Curiosity

The first interpretation of why you might dream about cheating on your partner is pure curiosity. Even if you’ve had multiple partners until you’ve found the one, or if you didn’t experiment as much, we’re all humans after all, and it’s natural to be curious.

Sometimes, the expectations of society force us to repress them. We’re naturally intrigued, which is what a special dream accomplishes for you. In simple words, it allows you to try things that you might not be able to do in real life.

You don’t want to tell your partner that you want to take a break to date different people, nor do you want to suggest having an open relationship. However, you still fancy the idea because you’re curious about how it would turn out. Since you’re not going to act on it, your subconscious mind will take care of that desire for you in your dreams.

2. Underlying issues

In particular, a dream about cheating on your partner can give you insight into your relationship. Are you happy? Are there any problems between you two? Is there something you’d like to discuss?

A dream like this can indicate deeper problems you have with your SO or the existence of a void in your partnership. Maybe you’re not getting what you need from the relationship, so your fantasies search for it elsewhere.

What can you do?

According to experts, if you consistently dream about infidelity almost every night and carry those ideas and desires into your waking life, it might be a sign that you either want to have an affair or think about ending your actual relationship and moving on.

Take some time for yourself and truly think about what makes you happy. Are those needs met? Does your partner support your goals? Are you on the same page, or at least trying to be? When you argue, do you feel like you both try to make things work or not? Do you help each other grow? Analyze the situation you’re currently in and have an honest conversation with your partner.

3. Anxiety

Is something bothering you? Maybe you’re stressed, or unhappy with aspects of your life or relationship, causing your subconscious mind to act out. Experts say another reason why you dream about cheating on your partner is anxiety.

When you sleep, any concerns and worries you might have come through. It’s always a smart idea to look at your dreams closely and try to understand them rather than avoid them. However, don’t assume that you have problems in your relationship just because you dream about cheating.

Your dreams can be metaphors, and the same thing can have different meanings, depending on what your life looks like at the moment. Psychologists usually encourage their patients to take a look at what their unconscious mind might be trying to tell them, so you should do that too. It can be really helpful.

As they say, when anxiety enters a relationship, the most common reason why you dream about cheating on your partner is fearing the relationship will end soon. We’re humans, so our fears are unleashed during our sleep when our ego-minds aren’t there to stop or censor feelings and thoughts.

4. Self-discovery

It might be hard to believe at first, but having a dream about cheating on your partner can actually help you discover yourself. A dream can tell you things about yourself that you don’t realize when you’re awake.

For instance, dreaming about infidelity is a great opportunity to reflect and seek personal growth. Instead of being so focused on what the dream means, try to get more in tune with yourself. Think about your fears and your blockages, and nurture self-care and self-awareness.

5. Dissatisfaction

Whether your dream was spicy or not, it’s worth taking a look at your intimate life. If you constantly dream about cheating on your partner and you’re frustrated in your daily life as well, it’s a smart idea to consider how satisfied you are with your bedroom time.

Are you having enough time in the bedroom? Are you content with the frequency between the sheets? Would you like to try something new but your partner shuts down? Or maybe your SO asked you something and you didn’t want it, and now you’re looking for a way out?

6. Unhealed wounds

If you’ve ever been cheated on, or if you cheated on a former partner, there’s a chance you’re probably not fully healed. You might be feeling uncomfortable that you suffered in the past, or you might be afraid that something bad will happen again.

According to experts, a dream about cheating on your partner isn’t such a big deal, but if it triggers some unpleasant feelings in you, like shame or distrust, it’s worth taking some time to check in with yourself. Don’t forget to treat yourself with love, kindness, and support; if something keeps bothering you, it might be worth talking to your partner about it.

7. You want to break up

We’re almost at the end of our article, but we couldn’t end it without talking about something important. According to experts, if you’re not satisfied with the way your relationship is daily, for whatever reason, and you dream about cheating on your partner, it might be time to analyze things thoroughly.

If the idea of a potential breakup has been on your mind for quite a while now and you notice that both you and your partner have stopped making an effort to make the relationship work, your dream might mean that you’re ready for something new. You probably don’t see any reason why to continue it, since you don’t seem to care anyway, so your subconscious mind redirects you to something new and more adventurous.

Of course, a dream about cheating on your partner might also mean that you should pay more attention to the relationship, and it can give you more clarity on whether you want to make it work or not. As we’ve previously said, dreams can generally be interpreted in different ways, depending on how you feel and your current relationship status. Don’t get too wrapped up in them, and focus on yourself and what makes you feel good. Everything will turn out fine! You’ve got this!

If you want to know more about dreams and what they mean, I recommend you check out this fantastic book! Did you find this article helpful? Do you dream about cheating on your partner? Let’s chat in the comments! If you enjoyed reading this article and you’d like to check out something else from Psychology Diary, here’s another good post for you: 7 Toxic Relationship Red Flags You MUST Watch Out For