Excessive jealousy
A tad bit of jealousy never hurts anybody, but this may be one of the red flags that no therapist can fix, and I will tell you why. If you are in a relationship with somebody who is constantly watching your steps, constant suspicion and inappropriate control are slowly but surely draining the connection.
Everybody is entitled to space and solitude, even in a relationship. A significant warning sign is a spouse who dictates your decisions, controls your every action, and keeps you away from friends and family.
Addiction (to gambling or substances)
This may be more than just a “deal-breaker,” because who wants to see all their couple’s money spent on gambling or other worse things and be lied about? At first, you may be tempted to forget and forgive, but unfortunately, this is one of the red flags no therapist can fix.
An addiction that is left untreated hurts both the addict and the relationship at hand. It will be very difficult to support a spouse who is battling an addiction or mental health problem without receiving intensive professional assistance. Regardless of how hard you try, you cannot repair someone who refuses to fix themselves.
This is all very beneficial. Especially when the couple were raised in different parts of the world in different cultures.
I left my country to be with her, and am having difficulties ever since I have arrived for the third time and left everything behind where I am from.
We have all made mistakes .if a partner does not meet you half way and expects no changes on their end and you completely accommodate them…that is a red flag
Great information, how do you find the person for you at an age of 65. or more. Some time money and health get in the way.
Yeah, those will do it. We had the intimacy so to speak, but if it was really only physical and not emotional and it was when the other half decided they wanted to be cordial, was it ever really intimate? See communication and empathy. We could spend lots of time comparing notes here
If therapists can’t fix these problems what good are they?
Therapy will only work if both partner are willing. Therapists can’t change anything, it is up to the patient to determine if he or she is going to take the advices of the therapists.
Therapists can only do so much. Only God who created us, knows our needs explicitly, can truly change a heart through the empowering of His Holy Spirit, to produce the fruit to make us reflect the character of God in all our relationships—not perfectly, little by little over a lifetime, with the oil of repentance and forgiveness smoothing the rough patches. With God all things are possible when a person is willing to put his own way aside for God’s way found in His Word.
Therapists can only advise & provide insight. The “fixing” lies within the effort/responsibility of the individual(s).
You fix your own problems… Therapists give you the tools or means to do so
Sometimes you just have to walk away. Not looking back.
So true. Its still hard but it gets better for the core family to teach n honor good vales is most important. Quality of Life n Living.
Being in a relationship with a narcissist was horrible. Controlled everything. Only cared about his needs intimately. Was told I could take care of myself in that aspect of the relationship.
The biggest problem is people belief factor
Are you Spiritually together?
Many can agree on the Natural things of Life
If one’s Spiritual Life is not built on the right Foundation, One will surely have a battle
The other factor is many don’t take the time to make sure as much as possible to examine themselves about the type of person they desire to have in their life
My brother would say I want a good woman and I in return would ask are you a good man?
We have to very careful with our decisions Yes in some cases one can be deceived
I’ve found you can like many people but the one that clicks with you is usually the one that is simply put Mature and not vain
Two can’t walk together unless they can have Respect and True Love not Lust
Lust will always be there, but not necessarily the one to put a ring on
Don’t be over anxious and take your time
When love is truly true from both , Nothing are no one can break you, yes as long as one lives there’s always going to be something that will challenge your commitment
But in the end only the two of you can decide where you desire to be
So I Leave With This Question
Would You Like To Live With Out The One You’re With?
This is an excellent article and definitely on point. Unfortunately, I have a feeling that not many are open to input when they are in love. It’s so hard to see through the rose colored glasses. It’s an excellent article.
I would add “porn” to the addictions list. It kills intimacy and creates distance. A therapist I knew (a good one) said the hardest couples work to do was when the two partners are at different developmental levels. Also that by the time a couple gets to therapy, the therapist’s job may be to help them split as amicably as possible. FWIW.
If you merry overseas make damn sure she telling the truth while you communicate over time. Especially religion, all they want is to get to America,some cases do your research don’t make a mistake like I did.
porn also CAN destroy RESPECT for intimacy . ( and respect 4th amendment if ur in USA ). MAGAZINES like FHM & FHW were good but ( zines ) are much worse like “the onion” bec. UNREGULATED they have LITTLE respect for healthy monogamous relationship. WORSE, they promote multiple partners and disgusting behaviors. that lead to easy breakups.
Guess you can say the same for some violent movies. Awful depiction of a way of living.
In my psychology curriculum I took an upper division social psychology class with one chapter focused on just compatibility factors. The overriding one factor is SIMILARITY! Opposites DO NOT attract! Need to have as much as possible in common(similar)! No slam dunks but you’re closer by being alike as possible!
Core Values is a topic I never considered before, while Life goals is. After first friendly date with someone I realized based on the conversation that life goals were totally different and we spoke minimally after. Seems his goal is more material, and he almost seemed methodical about it. Spirituality is very important to me.