Are you looking for new friends, expand your social network, or meet a potential partner? Whatever it is, there are ways to make all these types of interactions easier. Regardless of your age, meeting new people can be a nice experience. It might not be as easy as it was back in high school and it might require a little bit more effort on your part, but it will all be worth it in the end.
Here’s how to put yourself in a more positive light and simplify things when it comes to meeting and attracting new people.
Tips to Meet and Attract New People:
Some people are natural at flirting and socializing. For others, meeting new people is excruciating, let alone flirting and engaging in conversation with a person they like. Regardless of the type, dating experts advise against focusing all your energy and strategies on attracting only one person’s attention. As a matter of fact, the best way to catch the attention of someone you like is to engage in conversations with a larger spectrum of people.
As explained by Kimberly Seltzer, a therapist, dating, and makeover expert at Elite Image Makeovers, “When you’re too target-specific, you close yourself off to so much”. The more people you talk to, the more confident you’ll be when interacting with someone who is really your type.
Open body language
Body language is extremely important when it comes to the image we want to build about ourselves and how others perceive us. Whether you’re waiting at the supermarket, having a cup of coffee at the coffee shop or a drink at the bar, your nonverbal cues nip a possible interaction right in the bud.
To seem like the more approachable type (not the floozy one), avoid looking at your phone or listening to music in your headphones, keep a straight posture and display a relaxed and smiling face. It might seem difficult to do all that without looking ridiculous, but it does work. A relaxed and happy face makes people want to smile also and maybe even start up a conversation.
Be at the right place, at the right time
Apart from appearing more relaxed and confident, it’s important that you display these traits in the right location. Better said, in the perfect position. If the entire bar is open, find a seat in the middle or at the corner,” suggests Seltzer. “It’s the epicenter: the bartender is in front of you and everyone else is to your left and right.”
When it comes to strategic positions at parties and events, dating experts recommend identifying a center point, like the food and drinks table. Sit there with a group of friends and keep an open mind and energy; this will make it easier for people to see you and approach you.
Be the first to break the ice
If you’re shy when it comes to interacting with other people, here’s what Seltzer recommends: first of all, perform a room check, see what kind of people are present there, what seems to be the relationship between them and who seems to take an interest in you. Secondly, be the first one to say hi instead of waiting for others to approach you. To make things easier start by making eye contact with three people. Then, up your game and smile. Then, say hi. After all that, continue with a minute-long conversation, recommends Saltzer.
Stop worrying about what others think about you, stop imagining the outcome, and just be present in the conversation.
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Share something about yourself
When you’ve moved past the introductory part, don’t be scared of going into deeper topics, sharing a little bit of personal information, and asking significant questions. It’s okay to ask about the other person’s life journey, says Seltzer, without being privy. You can ask things such as “What brings you here?” and “Are you from the area?”.
When you disclose a little bit about yourself, others feel more relaxed and are more willing to talk about theirs as well. It can take less than one minute to really connect with someone, even if you don’t know each other at first.
Look out for chemistry
When it comes to romantic chemistry, there are four things to pay attention to: the physical factor, the emotional factor, the intellectual factor, and the spiritual compatibility and attraction. If you’re not sure where you stand with someone else, analyze your relationships based on these factors. Spend more time together and reanalyze everything after a while to see if the percentages have changed or not. You’ll know what to do once you put all these criteria into balance.
Do your social research
According to Seltzer, there is no right or wrong place to make new acquaintances and meet new people. Whether it’s at the grocery store or during your commute, you can never what life brings you.
You can start by making a list of your hobbies and places you like to hang out at. Then search for activities and events in your area that you might like to do or attend. This will give you a chance to meet people with the same passions as you, in an environment where you feel relaxed and comfortable. When you’re relaxed and at ease, you give off a positive energy that will make people feel good around you too.
Do something exciting
Being adventurous and doing exciting things is attractive to other people. Even if that something makes you nervous and anxious, various studies have shown that the adrenaline rush makes other people more attractive. If the other person is just as excited as you are, it’s a great way to connect with them and turn your outing into something more.
Be aware of your good and bad habits
On many occasions, what we think about ourselves is slightly different than what other people think about us and how others see us. Ask your close friends for their honest opinions about how you present yourself and the image you display in front of them. What was their first opinion when they first saw you? When did you have your first conversation? Can you do something to make you seem more self-confident and approachable?
“Getting that outside perspective can help,” according to Seltzer. You may be surprised by the fact that what you see as flaws are actually considered qualities by other people.
Go out with friends that lift you up
There’s this theory that you are the average of the five people you spend the most time with. When it comes to meeting new people, this adage becomes even more valid. Regardless of your open mind and open body language, relaxed and approachable attitude, if you’re in a closed group, you become unreachable. And truth be told, you wouldn’t try to break in either.
To make sure you don’t lose any important opportunities, allow some space for new people to start a conversation with you. Once “inside”, make sure the new person feels welcomed.