Cheaters always do these things according to cognitive experts:
Red flags aren’t always visible in a relationship, especially if you trust your other half (as you should if you want to have a healthy and worthy connection). On the other hand, it is also important to pay attention to your suspicions, if you have any.
Sometimes our intuition might not work well, and because of past traumas, we can be easily triggered by various actions other people take, but according to a psychologist, there are some signs someone will cheat on you no matter what you do.
If you notice at least two of these signs, it may be time for both of you to sit down and have a vulnerable chat to see if there is something else to do or not:
1. Validation from the outside is what they need the most
One of the first things cheaters always do is seek out other people’s validation or compliments. Or both. Self-esteem problems may be indicated by a tendency to continually seek approval from others, such as by sharing provocative photos on social media or requesting comments from friends that you both have.
We typically overlook this warning sign, as we don’t see anything wrong with someone sharing photos of themselves on social media. Particularly now that everyone does that several times a week.
Behavioral psychologists claim that this specific practice may increase their chances of actually cheating. This is because of the possibility that, if they lack confidence, they will look for it by finding a different companion who makes them feel appealing and desired.
Naturally, this does not imply that everyone with poor self-esteem would cheat, but it is something to be aware of.
2. You share zero vulnerability in your relationship
This is one common trait of cheaters: they rarely practice vulnerability. In most cases, in healthy relationships, partners tell each other what their expectations are regarding their future together, not only. If you are proud to admit that this is the case for your relationship as well, then congratulations! You’re in a good place! However, according to behavioral psychologists, people who are prone to cheating usually avoid these conversations.
Being afraid to open yourself in front of the person you love can be a common thing for everybody. That doesn’t mean everybody who is a bit shy or more introverted is going to cheat on their partner. Cheaters tend to hide deeper problems from you, making it harder to see that anything is off.
If it’s been a while since you and your partner had a vulnerable conversation, it might be time to set things up. Living with uncertainty about tomorrow’s events isn’t a healthy way of living.
3. They began to be less interested in intimacy
This is usually the most visible sign that there is something wrong with your relationship. If before, your intimacy was pure bliss and both of you were satisfied with your bedroom life, but now suddenly they reject your proposals for a steamy night, it means they’re getting their needs satisfied elsewhere.
On the other hand, some cheaters are trying to cover their tracks, and their guilt may increase lovemaking even more. Psychologists speculate that those who cheat could do so to appease their spouse, knowing that if they don’t show up for intercourse later, the partner won’t approach them for it.
“Cheaters always do that, cheaters always say that”—these are the two most searched-for things ever. And for a reason. Apparently, in the past decade, people have cheated more and more and given up on their relationships when something isn’t “clicking” anymore.
If you have been through a similar experience in the past but somehow decided to continue the relationship, this book is for you. I Love You, But I Don’t Trust You: The Complete Guide to Restoring Trust in Your Relationship, written by Mira Kirshenbaum is a great lecture for anybody. With this great price on Amazon, it would be a pity not to secure your copy as well!
4. Avoid making eye contact as much as possible
Avoiding eye contact is another one of the more subtle psychological indicators of deception. As you probably know, the eyes are said to be the window to the soul; therefore, you may find out a lot about a person by simply looking into their eyes. That’s why when someone wants to hide something or feels guilty about something, they frequently avoid making eye contact.
People who shy away from eye contact in social situations are typically extremely timid or struggle with public speaking. In a relationship or a marriage, this is a clear indication that something is wrong; frequently, it indicates that your significant other is having an affair and is either ashamed of it or afraid of being discovered.
5. They agree with you all the time
It’s always nice to have someone who is on the same page as you. You make plans together, you enjoy the same things, and even more, you share the same interests. This sounds dreamy, right? But be wary if they come out as overly agreeable—that is if they never fight with you or provide any kind of challenge.
From a psychological point of view, someone unable to express their opinions or engage in productive arguments in a relationship may have been raised in a household where it was expected of them to keep their needs, wants, and behaviors hidden.
A person like this is a master of hiding everything, and usually, they tend to go from one relationship to another as soon as the honeymoon period is over, and honesty and open communication with the other half is mandatory to maintain a healthy connection.
6. They often lack boundaries
In every relationship, it’s important to set boundaries because they let other people know what kind of conduct you will and won’t allow. Therefore, it may be a serious problem if your significant other struggles to create boundaries or keep up connections with people who either don’t respect them or have no limits at all.
The best example of this is something that all cheaters have in common. For example, let’s picture a situation in which your partner remained friends with one of their ex-girlfriends. There is nothing wrong with this, but more important is how they manage the relationship and if they have boundaries.
If the partner’s ex usually messages them at any hour of the day and shares stuff from their past on social media without your partner getting upset or anything, it’s definitely a red flag you shouldn’t ignore.
7. The future is uncertain, also discussions about it
In any healthy relationship, it’s mandatory to speak up about the future and what it implies. Two partners who desire to remain together and have a fruitful life together don’t shy away from expressing their needs and how they see things evolving.
If there is a sudden change in behavior in your relationship, it doesn’t necessarily mean that your partner is cheating. They may simply not feel aligned with you anymore, and both of you need to communicate your needs. While not all relationships are meant to last, it’s important to have honest conversations out of respect for each other.
Related article: Stop Saying These 8 Toxic Things to Your Partner!