4. Changes In Behavior Leading To Depression
Are you, or a person you care about, acting in a way that seems out of character?
Everyone has moments when they feel sad or grumpy from time to time. Yet, someone that’s living with dementia will likely show various mood swings, from calm to tears to fury, for no particular reason. Our characters can change in subtle ways as we grow older.
But, a person living with dementia might experience more obvious personality changes and can become suspicious, confused, or even withdrawn all of a sudden. Changes might also include a lack of interest or fearfulness in common things.
Another indicator of this disorder is a sudden lack of curiosity or incentive to do things. You might even discover that your loved one is no longer interested in personal hygiene or personal relations.
And even though apathy may sound a lot like depression, those who suffer from depression will also experience feelings of hopelessness, sadness, or lowered self-esteem.
If the person you care about is already living with depression, the chaos of dementia and having a hard time remembering something could make them even more disoriented or withdrawn.
80 Responses
Seeing people that are not there, Thinking she lives somewhere else and asking when are we going home? Wanting to stay in bed until I help her up. Unsteady on her feet. At times thinking I’m someone other than her husband. Thinking her parents and siblings are still alive. These are what I live with every day. The best time is when we go to bed and I keep her feet warm and rub her back The electric blanket keeps her warm over night. She is 89 years old , six years older than me.. I’m in good health and plan to keep her home even though we have long term care insurance.
My husband was diagnosed back in 2017, he was only 48 years old 😭, he was doing well up until about 1 1/2 years ago, then I noticed that he was repeating himself, and forgetting conversations that we had the day before, and sometimes from earlier in the same day. He used to be great with phone numbers, now he has to look them up, and I mean family members that he calls all the time 😭, he forgets to eat, it’s so sad to see him going through this, I feel so helpless.
God grand us serenity to accept the things we cannot change.
Courage to change the things we can. With wisdom to know the difference. Amen
There are helpful groups on facebook if youre interested
those amalack placks they tlk about on tv, ask your doc what to take to mayb cut down on the placks.
My experience similar! Plan to keep hubby (85) home as well. I am a RN of many years,so physical caregiving is probably easier for me, but the Ed’s wife’s symptoms parallel my husbands, and do at times, cause sadness. Thank you for sharing. and may God continue to use you to bless your wife for as long as necessary. Carol
Your situation touches my heart. Your patience is a true sign of your love for her. I salute you in your efforts to keep her with you as long as you can. My God bless you for your sincere kindness and love.
Exactly what I went through with my mom. You might want to check your long term care policy. A lot of them cover in-home care.
I’m so sorry for what you are going through – I personally think it is the worst disease possible.
It is specifically why I decided to return to the work force and sell long term care insurance when I was 65 – I only mention this because of your last sentence. With LTCI you can at least get some home care for your wife (and have the policy reimburse you) so she can stay in familiar surroundings and you can get some respite temporarily. My prayers are with you as you navigate this sad and unwanted journey.
Cathie Deegan
God Bless you! I lost the love of my life on January 31st after three or four years of the same symptoms you describe. I tried to get her over1000 calories a day but when she went home she was about 70 pounds.
I’m so sorry to hear about your wife. Getting old is hard! I’m 70 and still enjoy pretty good health. I recently moved in with my daughter and her family to bypass the inevitable. All this aside I just wanted to say you must be one prince of a man because i had a stroke twenty years ago and my husband of as many years just decided he didn’t want the trouble so he left.
You just keep loving your wife and making her feel secure. God will bless you tremendously.
I am so sorry that your wife…and you are going thru this. My husband and I brought my aunt to live with us 8 years ago. She was already having depression, lost time, she became unable to prepare meals for herself and was only eating food from the dollar store that cost only $1.00. She was still having lucid times where she knew who we were and could carry on a conversation. In the last 8 years the decline has been steep. In the beginning, she would be sort of “out” for several hours then come back. Now she is “out” most all the time. She has hallucinated about seeing people nobody else sees for decades. She would refer to these “visions” as dreams. Now she has created an entire church group. They put on musical performances in our back yard each evening. This can be challenging. Make sure you have some support.
How wonderful it is, that you are willing to keep taking care of her, may our God grant you health, as you need to be strong and healthy.
God bless you both of you!
Check with your longterm care insurance about family getting paid to do caregiving. Some policies will pay. Do call the Case Manager and make them aware. You may be able to start cashing in on some of the benefits.
What is long-term care insurance? We both have Medicare. Did you buy it?
You are one in a million Ed
Hie can I find a man like you?
Do you have a brother?
Remarkable man and selfless
See if you can convert her long term care insurance to “In home” care for her.
Your a good husband
I can really sense how much you love your wife. It’s so touching. Thanks!
You’re a good man.
You can keep your wife home, provide a care person, and be covered by your long-term care insurance. Check with your insurance carrier for the criteria for providing home care. With my insurance, all I was required to have was one visit per week from a paid home helper to meet the requirements to be paid by my insurance company. Check it out!
Thank you! Helpful 😄
My first time using this site. I will become a regular user.
There have been occasions when I’ve missed an exit on an expressway, turned down the wrong street in areas I’m familiar with or losing my sense of direction (e.g., not knowing if I’m going north or south). I’ve been attributing them to just being pre-occupied with stuff, but now I’m not so sure. Also. sense of direction/space around me (sideswiped cars in my driveway) and “losing steps” in the software development industry. in which I’ve worked for over 50 years (thus performing sub-par and getting let go fairly quickly). My neurologist had said it’s a normal part of ageing, but I am starting to worry a little.
Find a new Neurologist! Get a second opinion. Do it now.
Some of that is natural aging but my husband does have Alzheimer’s and his sense of direction is part of it. He takes Aricept which has helped tremendously.
God grand us serenity to accept the things we cannot change.
Courage to change the things we can. With wisdom to know the difference. Amen
I wish I had seen these signs much earlier in my wife. Looking back I can see them now, but I was too late. She passed away last September.
I’m sorry but your neurologist should not have told you it’s a normal part of aging, that is totally incorrect. Some people live to an old age with very minimal or no memory loss at all, that is what is normal.
So sorry for your loss
A crippling disease with no cure.My Dad and Father in Law both suffered and died with it
Where do you get help for this? These things are happening with my mom.
There is no help…Family needs to care for them 24/7 or you need to hire an aid for help or you beed to place them in a Alzheimer care unit which in turn means signing house and bank accounts over. Depending where you live, they may look back 5 years, and all money must be accounted for. Good luck
As it should be. Much thievery takes place to some of these elderly and sick people. A lot of relative’s steal from them which sometimes leaves them penniless and homeless.
Early on, there IS the possibility of recovery! Check out The End of Alzheimer’s by Dr. Dale Bredesen. His program has been used in a clinical trial that showed improvement/reversal in 76% of cases of MCI and early AD.
Not pleasant, even horrible, to see your loved one fade away slowly. But there is much help available due to research and emphasis on Alzheimers. The home will be kept if anyone lives there. Transfer of assets not allowed within two years before Medicaid can psy for care, so
take care of any financial inheritance early if you anticipate a problem with this cruel disease. Educate yourself at the first hint of a problem.
You might consider contacting your local Alzheimer’s Association if you have one. They are a wealth of dependable information as to what type of dementia your Mom has and what to expect in the future. As far as help is concerned, if you are asking about financial help, there are only three avenues to pursue: Self pay, long term care insurance (your Mom would not qualify at this point) or Medicaid if she qualifes and deplete the majority of her assets. Unfortunately there is no good answer for funding someone who needs, or will need long term care without having bought a LTCI policy earlier which would help mitigate the cost of care by 80-90% either at home, in an Assisted Living facility or a Memory Care facility.
If you’re just beginning to see symptoms, take her to a geriatric doctor that specializes in this. Talk to someone so you know how to manage what’s going on. It was so very hard on my Dad, my husband and myself. My mom was in a nursing home for an year and I couldn’t handle her asking every single day to go home. Husband & I moved in with mom & dad and we had 40 hours a week of home care which although a blessing, was not great. Often not showing up and a lot of turn over. (The industry pays them minimum wage). I did not have any doctors along this journey that offered me assistance or advice and I struggled to handle things. My marriage did not make it and I was alone for the 1st time in my life. It was all very overwhelming and so very sad. Have your mom checked out and if it is the beginning, get counseling for yourself and take care of yourself! You need knowledge on how this works. God bless
So far it’s no cured
Very helpful. I wish I knew about this sooner.
This is worse than Cancer at least you know the people around you to care for you and give you support not with this disease you forget your loved ones in some cases violence can happen it is so sad to see someone you love like this my siblings and I watched my mom for almost 3 years until she needed help we couldn’t provide I hated this disease I pray for a miracle so no one has to see their loved one like this🙏🙏🙏
Losing your memory is very scary. After suffering head injury from a brutal attack in 2019, my short term memory lost was frustrating. Training at a new job resulted in me only working four hours because going back through my notes became so hectic. Since then I have had two seizures. The last seizure my family said medical staff had to resuscitate me twice. What’s even worse, management doesn’t want to take responsibility for not protecting me while I was in their care.
I would like the 6 sign’s? My momma passed away because of Dementia
My husband has it
It in itself, is not a deadly disease, therefore, life goes on and on. I helped care for a man who was on a State Board. His mental disease progressed but his body lives on for 14 years as of now. He has not known his wife or friends, he constantly thinks someone is coming in the door, he sits and pretends he is at his desk, opening mail all day every day, he eats the same thing for meals, is frail and in a wheel chair or bed for the past 10. A health care worker comes in daily to bathe him, change dressings on a few sores and general health issues. The wife gets 20 hours a week of respite services. The government and Veteran’s Administration have taken good care of him. Wish there were a cure. Heartbreaking.
Was Surprised to read that if you are Dehydrated, this can cause Symptoms of Dementia. Great Article.
My husband has dementia. My mom had it for almost ten yrs. She never got sick til she turned 70. More and more people I know have gotten it. Everyone I talk to seem to have a mother or grandmother, grandfather. My plumber, my person that installed my cable, the Bread store cashier, on and on. My husband’s hobby was crossword puzzles. He had a very high IQ. Now doesn’t know how to bath or any bathroom habits anymore. VA helps with bathing. He keeps putting on 2-3 Depends everytime he goes. Sadly employed for 34 yrs. with military. Now 78 has had dementia last 4 yrs. Need to place in nursing home care.
My significant other has been diagnosed with Alzheimers
He was a great cook , computer whiz and handled all our finances. Now I do it all. He has displayed most of the behaviors you listed. The best advice for me was to NOT. TAKE THEIR INSULTS AND MOOD CHANGES PERSONALLY. REMIND YOURSELF IT’S 1
Thank you for your highly informative article. I really appreciate this info.
Great help on what suble signs to look for. Thank you.
I was married about 4 years to a wonderful man and the love of my life when he started asking about the’thing’. Took him to a neurologist and he was diagnosed with Primary Progrrssive Aphasia-word finding difficulty. It is a type of dementia. All types of dementia end up in the same place. You end up in a bed, not knowing your loved ones, unable to dress yourself, ultimately unable to swallow, and then death comes. My husband fell and broke his hip in January while at Memory Care and never really recovered. He died April 4th, 2023. I miss him terribly. It is a disgusting disease. Fortunately he was always happy and smiling. Never got violent. Frustrated yes, but not angry. I was lucky there..
Exactly what I went through with my mom. You might want to check your long term care policy. A lot of them cover in-home care.
An article advertising 6 signs goes in to list 17 signs
Does the author have cognitive problems
I don’t think these are subtle signs of dementia, they are full-on dementia. Writing an article about the actual subtle signs would be helpful for those who are wondering if their cognitive lapses are normal or something else.
I helped my wife care for her parents who both had Dementia. One thing I noticed from both of them early on was anger. For no uncertain reason they would get angry for no apparent reason. Most all her Aunts and Uncles and some Cousins passed from Dementia/Alzheimer’s. They all had one factor in common. They all worked in the Orchards in Eastern Washington when trees were sprayed with a Chemical called Allar a Daminozide, also known as aminozide, Alar, Kylar, SADH, B-995, B-nine. Though banned it is still in the soil ploughed up and becomes deadly dust on windy days even now.
I think we are “there” now. wish I knew for sure
I,m 79 and have only one sign,cant remember names of stuff. My neice is a leading alsheimer researcher up in Boston. I still drive and go to Atlantic City. I have to die from something someday.
For many folks, I included, being over sixty is a marvelous happening.
Being fit, active and thirsty for knowledge is the sound way to endure the pass of time, of being gracious and joyful in that final segment of an unique journey.
Love, health, finance and peace should surround our days until the bell rings our last second
Engaging on fun and physical activities will to a point prevent this extreme deteriorating experience.
For many it’s too late to change they habits and to avoid this tragedy, but for you and so many who are strong and able, this is the right time to grasp the wheel of their, our only chance to be in control and head to and easy, unavoidable landing.
Surely there are the real argument of no being able to overcome nature, and to getting it disregard of what our style of life is, was or could be, that is part of the magical equation of being.
Conclusion: If you get it fight it until there is nothing possible, if you must take care of someone, do it with kindness, selfless intentions and be or feel fortunate to be able of doing an angel kind of duty, for only those that give from the heart can feel the goodness of being touch by something special almost divine.
My doctors keeps dismissing my symptoms as age related. I know my body and mind, this isn’t age. I’m active, I work, the forgetfulness is getting worse.
THE major issue with me is transient depression that has been caused my wife of 41 years with her unchanged mental attitudes and lack of situational intelligence. I am a deeply logical person. Obviously, there is a conflict!!
I experienced the same thing with my mother, ( God rest her soul ). She died back in November of 2020 with dementia. It was horrible seeing her mood swings go from good to bad. At times, she was very nice and calm, and other times, she would curse like I never heard her before. I had to realize that it was the dementia. I miss her so much. Thank you for this site.
What are the 6 signs
President Biden verbal confusion. Like in the debate talking confused, then saying he finally defeated Medicare. Losing track of place – often confused about where to go after a speech. You can see much of this aby going to YouTube and searching for dontwalkrun.
What’s good for the brain is good for the heart…is good for the liver…is good for your eyes…is good for the kidneys…is good for the gut…is good for your skin…is good for your muscles…
The point is, everything is connected. The body works as a TEAM. Why do you think doctors refer to Alzheimers as “Type 3 Diabetes”?
So, if you are taking meds for depression, or hypertension, or dislipidemia. or an autoimmune…guess, where else you may be declining?
Most informative !
Thanks for sharing this article. It has helpful tips that allows people like me and my wife better understand this disease. We are both in the 70 and from reading this article there are several signs that we are experiencing. Once again thank you for this article.
Aricept works very well with dementia and Alzheimer’s….my husband has improved and slowed down his symptoms.
I notices one of the 6 signs in my husband’s memory that had me worried . We got married on August 16, 1978 1 year to the day ELVIS PRESLEY PASSED AWAY. The reason I got worried was 2 things #1) he came to me on April 16 of this year saying HAPPY ANNIVERSARY!! & when I questioned him about when we got married asking him what month, day & year we were married he told me he couldn’t remember plus #2) I also asked him about who died the previous year he said he didn’t know. So I talked with our Doctor & she set up an appointment with a Neurophysiologist to get him evaluated. He has his first visit in OCT.& 4 DAYS LATER HE GOES IN FOR TESTING & then in Nov. is his follow up visit. If he does end up being diagnosed with DEMENTIA HE WILL NEVER GET PUT IN A HOME. I will see to it that he gets the care he needs in our home with a caring & responsible caregiver & possibly look into an IN HOME CAREGIVER. He is 72 & 7 want him around for as long as I can have him with us. We just celebrated our 46th anniversary 3 days ago.
I was diagnosed a little over two years ago. I had a very high IQ and a long successful career. At 82 I am very physically fit for my age (life long high performance athlete). No physical limitations at all. Short term memory deficits are my primary symptoms. Spinal tap and reduced brain volume scan pretty much confirmed dx. Did try some meds but stopped because of side effects. Now just enjoying whatever time I have left. I am living a full life for as long as I can. Having a loving wife who is a retired ICU nurse is a huge blessing. My advice to all is enjoy what you can while you can. Sadly there are not any really effective treatments. Try not to waste a lot of time and energy whining and crying.
Do your best and love the ones you are with!
Do you need to have ALL 10 to be diagnosed?
I think comments should be sorted newest first, at least the default. That way everyone gets to be on top and seen by other people for a while, then sinking to make room for the next guy. Sorting by oldest means that after a while, new posters will be seen by almost nobody.
My mom died indirectly from dementia. She was in the late stages and bedsores from a neglectful nursing home caused sepsis but her dementia was so advanced. I remember her for years not remembering where she put her glasses and car keys but then she began getting confused while driving, getting lost and it’s just horrible. My dad also died from dementia but he abanoned me and my siblings when we were kids, I only found out because his wife at the time sent a letter. So since both my parents had it, I am probably going to get it.
I have seen this with mom even when I was just a kid. We’d find keys, money, etc in the refrigerator. Dad got frustrated from time to time, as she would throw paper tickets (no online back then). She pretty much forgot everything. She lost words, mixed up our names. Now she is 94, and is still the same. I notice I am doing the same thing now. Sometimes it does worry me, but looking at mom, perhaps I just worry too much.
My mom hasn’t known who I was for three years and doesn’t want me around, so my brother is caring for her.😔 No one’s mentioned this, but I’d be interested to know what foods folks with dementia/alzheimers ate from about 1975 forward? I’m convinced that the chemicals in high heat processed prepackaged foods are contributing to not only dementia/alzheimers, but to the lessening ability of children to learn in school, and even to the increase in school shootings, road rage, etc. Our “natural” brain chemistry is drastically changed by adding lab created chemicals to foods and beverages for the sake of taste, preservation, and appearance.
My sister just passed away from dementia.
Her early symptoms that really effected her were paranoia, personality changes, fear of driving and language processing. Later symptoms included short term memory impairment, hallucinations, wanting to go home and crying. My sister cried everyday all day for 3 years. The only time she didn’t cry was when, at times, she was given anti anxiety drugs or when she slept.
The severe symptoms occurred following surgery for a broken ankle. We told surgeon to NOT give her general anesthesia.
My sister came out of the surgery totally impaired. After the age of 50 do not have general anesthesia.
I love cheating on my girlfriend
very interesting comments. And informative.
I have many story’s about this dementia and I have witnessed a family who is going through this sickness and its getting worst.
I have worked in Health care and its no cure I have heard for a long time.
The only help is our Lord Jesus Christ.
I hope one day there will be meds or treatments help cure this sickness.
Dying is goanna happen I I believe that for sure.
I stayed every day with my Brother in law .Three years of decline finally put him in a facility.
That was seven years ago
What scares the hell out of me is I’m seeing the same early signs he had in me now . I’m only 71 . My brother in law was 65 when he passed .
I had a terrible fall several months ago and I tended to attribute most of my memory loss to this fall.
I did not receive any examination to see if I may have experienced a mild/severe concussion. In retrospect I believe that I might have experienced a brain injury. My wife was with me when this fall occurred however she did not think the fall was serious enough to seek medical attention or at least a diagnose. Since that fall I have sought medical attention and have been diagnosed with a mild onset of dementia. I just celebrated my 80th birthday, so the specialist that I saw also diagnosed me with early mild dementia. Of course I experienced a period of denial because I have been a highly professional all of my work so after doing a lot of research, I do believe that I have mild dementia.
In that I’ve learned that there is no cure for the disease, I am doing all of the things that professionals advised me to do to keep myself highly active to control the speed of preventing me from becoming disabled because of dementia.