Are you dealing with a toxic partner? Let’s find out!
We would all move heaven and earth to make our partners smile when we’re in love. But when does this become toxic, as opposed to romantic? Sadly, there are people out there that try to use and abuse the trust and affection of their partner.
They ask for things one at a time that seem small until they build up into a frightening crescendo of toxicity and emotional abuse that’s very difficult to break away from.
And even though you might think it would be easy to spot the tell-tale signs that it’s time to break it off, it’s not always crystal clear. This is especially true when someone has an emotionally abusive partner.
If your spouse tries to manipulate you, it can produce an atmosphere where even the biggest red flags in a relationship seem normal suddenly. Yet if you keep an eye out for red flags, you can start deciding if the connection is genuinely working out for you.
Here are 7 major things your partner should NEVER say to you!
31 Responses
Well life is real hectic now days . And some people will get caught up in materialistic value And they end up losing the race to rats and then caught up in ticking traps that they can’t fine to release lever back to reality.
Help.
Had an affair an with the woman next door is my house when I was out and about. 67 yrs old! She is 42. We built this retirement home together
In my house! Iam safely at my daughter’s home, waiting to serve him
LIMERENCE is the sddiction.
all true and being a bullie is what I exspierenced in my last marriage, monitoring every phone call complaining about a small item that didn’t have in front of company making me pay for almost all of groceries except a fraction, continuously pressuring me to buy the whole store out and go to the store daily Restricting who can come into the house. Putting on a behavior mask when people are around. I stuck it out for years not happy with the outcome. I finally reached my tolerance level and left after 16 years.
Here are 7 major things your partner should NEVER say to you:
Lifetime Warranty is what comes up.
First sign of an abusive relationship: They don’t want you to see or talk to your family and friends. They want you “all for themselves.”
It could be what you think. It also could be that THERE IS something toxic with you, your relatives and your family. It is difficult to decide because no specific reasons for this behavior is provided. These things should be worked in couple’s therapy.
Wow, this caught my eye because I thought it would convince me to leave my husband, but instead, it convinced me that he should leave me. 🙁 Guess what, I hope he does what he should do, except, he will never read an article like this. 🙁 Not even if I asked him too.
Thinking he should you indicates you really need psychological help.
Instead of hoping for the split, or worse divorce, get ahead of it since you recognize it now. Talk to your husband about how you feel. Ask him if he would agree to help you make the marriage healthier by going to some marriage counseling.
I know from personal experience, it’s easier said than done. I read this article for the same reason you read it. I’m wondering why, when I knew all these signs were there, did I get married? Was I foolish enough to think he was going to change, like he said he would?! Apparently so. 🙄
Janice same!! Like damn if he didn’t break that trust or do things that are stupid (drinking too much when he can’t tolerate it) i wouldn’t a have to question where he is going, but I guess that’s a bad thing to do.
Politic does, religion too. The tension is choking you by the unwritten lines.
“He” was controlled by his sister, I felt like I was living in a LMN Movie. She said bad things about me, then he got angry – he ended up going to jail, I made the mistake and dropped the charges,
to make a story short, he is now living with “her”, I am still trying to get on with my life.
Lesson learned.
I appreciate this information. I am dating out of the seven they do one, which is not allowing me to share my relationship views. They say I ALWAYS want to argue. But I say if you answer the relationship question(s) to the best of your availability I won’t ALWAYS ask. I will keep asking until I get a satisfactory response.
I really love this information. I am struggling in my 30 year relationship and sadly I am recognizing that all of these topics are happening in my relationship.
But I never realized the severity of the problem. Thank you for opening my eyes.
I am truly appreciative for all of this information.
Now I need to do something about it.
Im so tired of struggling to be happy
Good column and open eyes for blind abusive relationships…
The phone thing is plain wrong. If you trust your partner then you should care less if he goes thru your phone. I know this from first hand experience. My wife was having an affair so she always had an excuse why I didn’t need to go thru her phone. Then one day I answered her phone while she was in the bathroo. The advice should be. If your partner doesn’t want you to see her phone then it is time to leave. You don’t have to look at her phone because she obviously doesn’t trust you
I agree trust is the most important thing
I agree. My husband had an affair and didn’t want me to see his phone when the beginning of our marriage he could less.
You already didn’t trust her — the fact that you NEEDED to see her phone proved that. I’ve been happily married for over 50 years and I wouldn’t give any of my passcodes to my husband — why would he need them?
I lived that life before and after the Pandemic. It was as a living hell. I had nowhere to go or a place I could afford. Therapy was too expensive. He kept tabs on me all the time. The only time I was without him was when I was at work. It is as my refuge. I eventually moved out but keep in touch with him. I can’t seem to let go and the same for him. Co-dependency is an crippling prison!
I agree and disagree with the first one. In a healthy relationship, you should be able to have a passcode on your phone without your partner needing to have it but, there shouldn’t be a reason why they couldn’t see what’s on your phone either. My husband and I don’t have passcodes on our phones, but we also don’t need to look at each other’s phones. He could look at mine if he wanted to and vice versa though.
My husband doesn’t like it when I cry. I get no empathy from him. When I hurt, I cry. He gets upset and says” what’s wrong now?”.
This info is a tough pill… How it gets to the 7 signs is always unoticed… Eventually, you’re in too deep, suffocated + unhappy… Battling your way out is tiresome + expensive… I separated once and may need to again… This time far more challenges… Finding peace where I can until I locate the Best resolution…
Help me
What to do when son in law threatens to see our family less or not at all unless we do….. or don’t do….. His perception of us is all wrong. He “sees” things that aren’t there and convinces my daughter that we are bad for her.
lt falls under the better or worse category. Ask the higher power to relieve the depression in both you and significant other. Get yourself right first. You can see why therapy can be so important. Start asking the creator for help. It must be daily and then the reward is life giving.
Whew! My wife and I are safe. 🙃
We can open each other’s phones with fingerprints, but I can’t imagine her browsing my phone. We did it for emergencies. I’m an Emergency Response Team member, and she needs to answer if I’m out weeding or something. I’d no more browse her phone than I would steal from a friend. Ain’t happening.
You may not believe me, but we’ve been together six and a half years, married for almost a year, and we have never had cross words, let alone a fight. We just seem to understand each other, and we’re best friends. We go places, we game together, go on little trips. I’m American, she’s German, so I moved to Bavaria. My job is portable, she works for the government, so it made sense.
I lived a couple of kilometers from the beach, and to her was exotic. Five minutes to So Cal beaches! Great Mexican food! A half hour to the mountains! Where we live now was originally a Roman settlement. Castles! Really old stuff! The Danube!
I’ve driven by the ocean all my life. She’s driven past 1000 year old castles. Where you live isn’t exotic to you. It’s just home.
My point is this: don’t let life scare you into settling for what you know is bad. I think most people go into a relationship they shouldn’t knowing that they shouldn’t. We do it anyway. I couldn’t fantasize a better wife. We didn’t rush. Being on separate continents gave us time to really get to know each other. Even living on the same street you should date, get to know each other. The bed isn’t going anywhere. Any person who really likes and respects you will be willing to wait for you. You can get someone with sex, but you can’t keep them with it. A great piece of advice I got was not to get too serious with anyone until I’d been through a bad cold and a stressful situation with them.
Any one of those seven things would, and some have, sent me on my way. All seven? Wow. I’ve seen lists posted by both men and women of the rules their partner wanted. If they want to live like that, cool. I’d read the list, laugh, and walk.
Apologies for the length. Good luck to everyone.
First, let me say I can’t make my husband do anything, but when one commits to marriage there are certain responsibilities that come with that. I consider it common courtesy in a relationship that a partner communicate when and where they will be and yes, even ask if they will be needed before gallivanting off, especially if children are involved. I don’t know what is meant by “limiting where you can go,” but I will most certainly put up a stink if my husband is off having fun all the time while I’m at home with the babies. We have a 4 month old and another baby on the way and I will not be the sole caregiver in this partnership. Call it abusive if you want, but discussing when and how long either one of you will be gone is not unreasonable to me.
If you find yourself in a relationship with someone who has any of those traits, the first thing to ask is why. Most people would leave immediately after the other person shows any of those traits, if you didn’t then find out what’s wrong with you. And when you leave. You don’t stay friends, or text or anything. You treat the person like the don’t exist. If you can’t do that then find out why. Having any contact with a controlling person is dangerous.
Absolutely agree with Your assessment of the issue was exactly as I thought! And this is of note, why? You ask. Because my brain being female seems to disprove your current statement whereby my female brain, objects to the common assertion that males brains do better than
Absolutely agree with Your assessment of the issue was exactly as I thought! And this is of note, why? You ask. Because my brain being female seems to disprove your current statement whereby my female brain, objects to the common assertion
that males brains do better than
Female brains in the areas of maths and sciences specifically.