What are the seven love languages?
Chances are you’ve heard of “love languages” and that there are five of them: physical touch, quality times, words of affirmation, receiving gifts, and acts of service. Or at least there were.
The iconic five love styles created by Gary Chapman in the 1990s aren’t what we should be looking for guidance from anymore, but instead an updated set of languages that takes a modern approach to relationships.
Truity, a company that provides a variety of personality tests, recently surveyed more than 500,000 people and concluded there are actually seven different types of love: appreciation, activity, emotional, financial, intellectual, practical, and physical.
Founder and CEO of Truity, Molly Owens, wanted to bring a theory similar to Chapmans but one that analyzed a wide, varied number of individuals rather than married Christian couples in homogeneous relationships.
She pointed out that the expectations people have for their romantic relationships have become very different compared to 30 years ago. Owens also mentioned that the original Love Languages book (you can find it here) was still found to be largely validated, but there’s enough data to conclude that it needed to be expanded to add the two new love languages that significant swaths of the survey set identified.
In its release about the latest research, Truity noted that culture has shifted in many ways. Male displays of emotions aren’t as stigmatized as they once were, so men are more comfortable admitting to themselves and their partners when they might prefer words of affirmation over physical touch.
Truity study doesn’t negate the fact that we all have unique needs and communication styles. Its findings just reframe what those look like these days.
So, without further ado, let’s take a look at the seven love languages!
People who focus on the appreciation love language feel valued and cared for when their partner gives them praise, compliments, and thanks. They appreciate hearing explicitly what the other half likes and admires about them.
If this is your love style, you enjoy love notes, cute text messages, uplifting quotes, kind words, and encouragement from your significant other. Other examples of the appreciation love language in practice include making sure to give your partner a compliment every day and encouraging her or him to be more complimentary of themselves.
Is this your love language? What about your partner? Can you tell if she or he enjoys being appreciated verbally?
No. 2 on the love languages list is activity. People who align with this love style feel valued and unique when their significant other takes a real interest in their activities and hobbies. Even more so, those who focus on this love language feel especially valued when their loved one makes an effort to enjoy those interests and hobbies with them.
If you align with this love style, you feel appreciated when your partner sets time aside to do the things you love. If you particularly enjoy watching old interviews with 80s celebrities and personalities, you’ll feel loved if your significant other wants to do that with you.
In a world where time is a valuable resource, setting aside some for your partner is definitely a love language that we should appreciate.
Next on the list of love languages is emotional style. People who align with it feel valued and loved when their significant other can support them and connect with them through scary and complex emotions.
This love language refers to connecting with your partner during tough times when they need your resilience and emotional support. If this is your love style, you’re ready to be supportive of your partner’s emotions during tough times and expect them to do the same for you.
In other words, those who have this love style show their love and appreciation by being present for the highs and lows.
Does it sound like you? Keep in mind that people can align with more love languages.
Similar to the original “Gift Giving” language Gary Chapman described in his book, the financial love language means being generous with your resources in the name of bringing you and your significant other joy. If you align with this love style, you feel valued and loved when your partner uses their finances to treat and surprise you.
You like that because you also do that for your loved one. Those who focus on this love language also enjoy helping their partners financially. Examples of this love style in action also include setting money aside to be spent on a romantic date night or a trip abroad.
Remember, the gifts don’t have to be lavish or expensive, just well-meaning!
No. 5 on the love languages list is the intellectual style. It doesn’t refer to literal intelligence levels, but feeling connected to your significant other through the mind and deep discussions.
People with an intellectual love style feel most valued and appreciated when talking with their partner, having their opinion understood, and reaching understandings. They want their loved one to understand their point of view and know how their partner thinks.
If this is your love language, you feel loved when your other half respects your opinions and enjoys discussing important issues with you.
It’s worth mentioning that partners can have different love languages; what really matters is trying to understand your partner’s love style and showing your appreciation in their love language.
People with the practical love language feel valued and appreciated when their partners chip in with their everyday responsibilities and duties. Whether it’s giving a ride to work, cooking together, offering to wash the dishes, or helping clean the house, you feel loved when your significant other is there to help you.
This love style is all about showing support for your other half and everything they have to do, indicating that they are not alone and that you are part of a team. People who align with this love language expect their significant others to do the same for them. Usually, when this doesn’t happen, disagreements and conflicts arise.
Now that you know there are different love languages, the two of you can talk about it and try to understand a love style that’s different from yours. As in many situations, communication is the key.
Last but not least on the list of love languages is the physical style. Those who identify with it feel validated and loved through physical affection, which includes lovemaking, but it is absolutely not limited to it. From a shoulder squeeze and kissing to hand-holding and cuddling, they interpret physical touch as a sign of care and support.
Similar to other love languages, it can be extra hurtful when a partner has this love style and the other avoids being physically affectionate with them. This can lead to feelings of unwantedness and neglect.
If your significant other has physical touch as their love language, then it’s important to incorporate acts of physical affection into your routine. This will ensure that you’re expressing your love in a way that your partner understands and appreciates.
Which is your love language? Or perhaps you have more than one. Let us know in the comments section!
If you liked our article on the seven love languages, you may also want to read 10 Best Relationship Tips of All Time for Long-Lasting Marriages.