6. Past relationships
Besides being an uncomfortable subject to talk about, it won’t bring any benefits to the marriage either. Moreover, if the husband is more of a sensitive and emotional person, he might take it personally and find it somehow offensive that after so many years his wife is still thinking about or even mentioning her former relationships.
If your wife is dodging the well-known question “How many partners did you have before our marriage?” it means that she doesn’t want to share this thing with you, even after years of relationship. But why do they do that? They know a lot of men can become quite insecure if their spouse starts sharing details about her life before they meet. What matters for them is that their past no longer influences the present.
7 Responses
I agree about having my own bank account. We do share everything financially basically but when he was working I would put away money every month and sometimes I had a very part-time job singing, still do sometimes, and when I get paid I put all that in my bank account too. My husband knows about it. The problem is he says we could be making more money if we invested that Money elsewhere. He’s right about that but there’s something inherent in me that says keep it for a rainy day For something I want or need for something I want or need or for an emergency when I or he might need some money right away without going through hoops to get it from somewhere else. In general, I find it more satisfying to share things with friends because a lot of things I might tell him or things I read or hear about, he often doesn’t want to know-Not interested he says. We will this August be married 54 years.
I agree…..there should be separate, individual bank accounts.
As a Man seperate Acconts is Ok Now Household budgets are Shared whats Left Spend Wi
We are all different, somethings shared are NOT always good. We are living in a totally new environment, and that it’s self can upset some of our goals. It’s always good to keep peace in the family. Life is NOT always as we wish it would be. Be good to each other, share ideas, and try to understand we are NOT always right, AND we are not always wrong. Do your best to be a happy family.
I think these topics really depend on the people in the relationship. All of these topics– my guy and I can freely discuss without either one getting offended about.
If the mam and his woman are comfortable with each having their separate accounts , that’s fine as long as they both shared responsibilities. I suggested that , the man paid the mortgage and his woman take care of the foods and utilities of their house. Now , they both can put away money in their bank account for a rainy day. Every body should be getting along and be happy now. 😊 But if later down the road the man wasted his money and can’t afford to pay the mortgage , if i was the woman, I’d send him packing . Also , this could be vice-versa. The bottom line is this: a husband and wife are one and every thing they own becomes one . The husband should know what the wife is all about and the wife must know all about the man she married. No secrets !!! No secret accounts!!! You don’t trust your spouse , don’t get married.
Wives need to trust their husband to a great extent, but no one is completely beyond reproach. I learned bitter lessons from dealing with a number of wills (and trusts) which ended up costing me millions. After one dies leaving a fair amount of money, there are those who will steal what they can grab- in my mother’s case it was my dad’s third wife who grabbed almost all my mother’s trust (illegally as a de facto trustee) once he had become demented, and finally cleverly murdered him when the funds had been stolen and his disabilities became too much for her rich tastes. Similar has happened to around five large estates within our immediate families.
My wife and I have common accounts for normal cash flow, income and expenses. But our savings are separated into our individual trusts so that heirs could not be cheated such as has happened so many times recently (around the country, for like 40 years).