If you’re feeling like your relationship has reached a stagnant point, maybe you should try reaching these goals!
2020 was indeed a tough year for humankind because of COVID-19. Some of us lost our loved ones, others lost their jobs, and some relationships ended because of quarantine. While some spend too much time indoors with their partners last year, others were forced to spend the quarantine apart, in different cities or even states.
But no matter how hard 2020 was, we finally managed to make it to the end and now people want to set new goals for 2021. Just because we’re still living in a pandemic doesn’t mean we’re not allowed to set some relationship goals for the year that has come.
And now more than ever, without all the fun activities, the nightlife, partying, and vacations, you and your significant other need to find new ways to entertain, love, and support each other. While it’s not recommended to travel in the near future, you can find new hobbies for you and your partner, go dancing or learn to play an instrument, start a sports lesson or learn how to cook your favorite dish at home. It’s up to you, you just have to be creative.
Additionally, quarantine has taught us that you can’t run away anymore. Had a fight? You can’t go to have a drink with your friends or run to your parent’s house to sleep overnight. You had to learn to talk to your partner and solve your problems, because running away is no longer an option during the pandemic, especially for couples that live together.
But remember, even though you grew and changed a lot in 2020, so did love, you just have to give it a chance. Read on to see the 21 relationship goals of 2021!
Find new hobbies.
Quarantine has transformed us all into couch potatoes, so it’s fair to say that our routine has changed a lot from our pre-pandemic life. We’re now ordering takeout and watching movies and TV shows all day long, but no matter how interesting Game of Thrones can be, it’s still important to find the time to do some fun activities and find new hobbies. You can join an online book club, learn a foreign language, or do a 30-minute workout every day.
2020 was a very hard year for all of us, so we can all agree that we deserve a mental health day in 2021. A goal for this year would be prioritizing your well-being, free time, rest, and spontaneity. You can learn how to have a relaxed day and still be spontaneous from time to time, you just have to be creative.
Choose wisely the time spent together!
Just because we’re living in a global pandemic doesn’t mean we’re just supposed to sit around all day, watching movies, ordering takeout, and doing nothing else together. You can do fun stuff and still be safe, especially now that the outside world has moved online.
You can always spice things up with an online cooking class, visit a museum online, start a DIY art project for your home, or have a Zoom party with your closest friends. While it can be tempting to just sit on the couch and watch Netflix all day, it’s also important to do things that bring you joy. After all, the couch will still be there when you finish your fun activities.
You’re allowed to say ‘NO’.
Before the pandemic, we all used to say ‘YES’ to things and activities we really didn’t feel like doing and then tried to convince our partners into joining us. But in 2021 it’s time to learn to say ‘NO’ to the things you don’t like. You no longer need to feel pressured into going out with people you don’t like or doing activities that don’t speak to your soul.
2021 should be about setting boundaries when you need to and learning to accept them even when it’s not easy. You don’t have to participate in every friend meeting, you don’t have to go out if you don’t want to, or even attend every family Zoom party.
Keep things between you and your significant other.
What happens in your relationship is your business and yours only. You do not need approval from your family, your friends, or other people who are not leaving your life. While it’s important to have people in your life who love and support you, your relationship should be between you and your partner.
Be someone who listens and remembers!
For a relationship to be successful, you need to be a good listener and someone who remembers even the smallest details about your significant other. Now is the perfect time to ask them how their business meeting went or hear about their colleague’s drama. By being a good listener you’ll make your partner feel loved, appreciated, and understood.
Find new things that turn you on!
We eat when we’re bored not when we’re hungry, the same way we sleep when we’re bored, and the same goes for sex. Most adults know what they like and what they don’t like when it comes to bedroom life, but it’s never too late to try something new for the first time. Learn what you like and what your partner likes, and find new ways to make them feel super turned on.
Remember that you have your own timeline.
In 2021 people should live their lives as they please. Traditional relationship milestones are no longer in trend, so do not allow yourself to feel pressured to get married or have kids just because your family believes it’s time.
Everyone has their own pace and timeline, so you’re the only one that’s allowed to decide what happens in your life. Try to be a better partner every day, instead of trying to live up to other people’s expectations.
It’s true that we weren’t able to do everything that we wanted in 2020, but 2021 should be the year when you’re grateful for everything that you have.
A good idea to keep you grounded would be doing monthly lists (or weekly, if you please) with the things you’re most grateful for and exchanging them with your significant other. Good food, quality friends, and a lot of free time to spend with your partner? You name it. But trust me, this list can quickly change your perspective if you let it.
Prioritize some quiet time with your partner.
While fun activities are essential in a relationship, so it is a little quiet time here and there. Take some time to just snuggle up and read a good book, cuddle with your significant other on a rainy day, or simply enjoy each other’s company. When you’re with the right person, silence shouldn’t feel disturbing.
Spend less time on your phones!
Especially now that everyone’s working from home, spending a lot of time on screens has become a habit in almost every household. You get so used to spending a lot of time on your phone that you could say you’re in a relationship with your smartphone. A goal for 2021 would be to spend less time connected online and more time connected in person.
Do not fear talking about the things that upset you!
One of the most common mistakes couples tend to make is neglecting to speak about something that really bothers them. But letting things build up is not the solution, so you should try addressing the issue early and every time you feel the need to.
And no, that doesn’t mean you should act defensive 24/7, it just means you need to learn to speak about the not-so-great things as well because a long-term, healthy relationship is not all sunshine and rainbows.
It may be hard to understand some psychological concepts sometimes and how they tie in with your relationship, but you can always read more on the topic!
But understand what you’re fighting for.
Before starting a huge fight over the most insignificant stuff, you need to make sure you understand why you’re fighting for it. Did they leave their clothes on the floor or forgot to take out the trash? Or are you fighting about not feeling loved, respected, or a priority? The first step in solving the problem is understanding what you’re actually fighting about.
But you still need some ‘me’ time.
While it’s very important to have common hobbies and activities you love doing together, it’s still normal to not like the same things all the time. You might love doing a workout Zoom class while your partner is not very sporty, or they love watching a trashy TV show you find rather boring. After months of quarantine and a lot of hours spent together, prioritize your ‘me’ time and understand that it’s ok to do things without your partner, too.
Do not forget about the small gestures that mean the most.
Expensive gifts and romantic declarations are cool, but love can be bought. It’s the small gestures that mean the most, like sending a ‘Thinking about you’ text in the middle of the day when you’re busy, cooking your partner’s favorite meal, bringing someone a cup of coffee, or simply doing the dishes to help your partner.
Do not be ashamed to talk about your sex life!
Talking about sex can still be an awkward topic even for people who are together for a long time, but it doesn’t have to be this way. You’re not like something? It’s ok to say it. Do you want to try new things in bed? Don’t be afraid to speak up. Talking about it will make you understand your partner’s needs better and you’ll also get rid of the idea that it’s awkward talking about this topic.
Create novel experiences!
We all love stories about summer flings, one-time things, and bad mistakes, and that’s because they’re fresh, new, and exciting. But while you can’t have all those things if you’re in a long-term monogamous relationship, you need to be creative and find new ways to create remarkable experiences. And it doesn’t even have to be something huge, you can just order food from a different place to try something new or rent an Airbnb in your area for a staycation.
Manage your expectations.
Expectations come in a relationship in all shapes and sizes, and they can ruin a relationship if not handled well. That’s why it’s important you make sure your partner knows and understands what you expect from them, so you won’t feel surprised later on if you find out you’re not on the same page.
Instead of saying ‘You are…’ say ‘I feel…’
A lot of fights can happen if you do not learn how to manage what comes out of your mouth. In fact, the most common words can spark a lot of tension in a relationship, so now is the time to learn how to properly share your feelings.
For instance, instead of saying ‘You’re selfish’ try saying something like ‘I feel ignored’. This way, you’re not placing all the blame on your partner’s shoulders. If you’re feeling one way or another, try using ‘I’ statements because it’s your feelings, after all.
A relationship needs work.
Just like you water a plant to keep it alive, you need to do a little work if you want your relationship to thrive. That means constant check-ins, sexy time, honesty, uncomfortable conversations, affection, trust, healthy fights, and most importantly, being there when you’re needed. But remember, a relationship is a two-people job, so your partner needs to do the same for you.
Set your own relationship goals.
Now that we’ve mentioned a lot of relationship goals for 2021, you need to figure out what you want for yourself this year. Do you want love, passion, spontaneity, excitement, trust, or security? O all the above?
Do you want spontaneous trips, romantic dinner dates, or more time spent together with your loved one? You need to figure out what you want and make sure your partner knows it as well.
If you’re no longer in a relationship with someone and you’re too lonely, you should definitely be checking out these great ways to try to combat this feeling!