Empty promises regarding their change
No, don’t fall for that! If you’ve been in the relationship for a while now and things didn’t work as you planned, you probably had many serious discussions about what things you could change for the relationship to work.
Truth be told, a narcissist may never change, and if you asked them to do so along the time you’ve been in a relationship and things got worse rather than good, you should never believe they will ever change.
If gaslighting, blame, and persuasion never worked to pull you back into the relationship, they will make empty promises that things will change once you give them another chance.
Reveal their neediness
While they want to show a strong and independent appearance, in reality, they are very uncertain people who need constant reassurance and validation. Being in a connection with a narcissist can be exhausting since you will feel like you are in second place because you end up taking care of them more than you should.
Even after the breakup, they will try to make it harder for you to say no. Be mindful of this because too many interactions with a former partner don’t benefit you and your mental health.
Stalking you at its best
While narcissists seldom engage in dangerous stalking, it is not unusual for them to happen to be in the grocery store when you are, to show up out of the blue at a social or community gathering you frequent or to plan their daily running schedule to pass by your house. Be prepared for these unexpected meetings to occur. They are intended to keep you conscious of the narcissist’s existence and unbalanced emotionally.
Gossip about you
Because a narcissist insists that everyone you know take a side, it can be difficult to keep the breakup private. They will right away share their version of the breakup story with your friends, neighbors, churchgoers, and other acquaintances both in person and on social media.
Gossiping about you is a tactic they apply to make you the bad guy in their story and gain the sympathy of others. This is just another (failed) attempt to win you back.
Have you ever been with a narcissist?
Related article: 6 Reasons Why People Fall in Love With Narcissists.
6 Responses
I believe I am involved with a narcissist. I have also been in love with them for 25+yrs. I know that they are a narcissist but I can’t get them out of my heart. We were separated for 2yrs with no contact but I never stopped loving them. I’m pretty sure I’m going to die loving them. I’m 68yrs old.
One issue that is a total brain scramble. You didn’t fall in love with THEM you fell in love with the MASK they created just for you. My ex LOVED dogs but in the end he raised a clenched FIST to my old dying dog to traumatize me. That is the real him. He is off with the new one and now is into Jeeps
You are CHOOSING to waste the last few years of your life. I was married to one for 10 years, ending at age 65 for me, a terrible time to start over, and that’s what I had to do. You may pine after that person, but believe me, that person does not love you….they are incapable of love. I finally found a REAL man, who can show emotions and does not think he is the center of the universe. You can too. It IS a choice.
I just this year realize I have been married to a narcissist for 37 yrs. I too knowing I bought him in action stays he didn’t nothing wrong. IA narcissist will believes himself and he wil not admit nothing.
I think I’m just figuring out Im in love with a narcissist after 10 years and many break ups later and separations and it’s only because that person keeps calling me a narcissist so I started reading up on exactly what a narcissist is and how they act and there it was right in my face a textbook narcissist the whole time and after the last break up I figured out I would love that person till the day I die but that doesn’t mean I have to be with them I deserve to be happy……… Silence does good
I was involved with a narcissist for 4 yrs.. my only true advice….
GET OUT AND DONT LOOK BACK!!
They are evil to the cord! You are only there to make them look good but they can care less about you or your feeling. Never cry in front of them.. if you do, they win. Instead while they are ranting and raving .. fold your arms and look smug!!! They hate that!! And you win!! You’ll see them stomp off like a temper tantrum baby that they are!
PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE.. get out! Don’t look back and Definitely study “Survivors of Narcissist” site! It will shock you because you will see the same controlling stories you are going through!! You are pre ious and don’t think any less of yourself no matter what they say about you. You are stronger than them!