4. They do not care about your feelings at all.
Have you ever felt a lot of emotions but thought that the person in question could not care less? It does not matter if you are happy, sad, tired, or even fearful, just to name a few emotions; one of the signs someone has bad intentions towards you is that they do not care about your emotional state at all. Being that they ignore you when you are feeling intense emotions or that they dismiss anything you are saying or feeling as you being overly emotional.
This is also a tactic of trying to gaslight and manipulate you, as they will keep saying that you are too emotional, and this is not a way in which they can communicate with you efficiently. What they are truly saying is that they want you to only focus on them and their problems or concerns because they do not care about your struggles.
So keep an eye out for this sign someone has bad intentions towards you, because they will show it by belittling your feelings, no matter if they are happy or sad in nature, making jokes about your worries and fears, and always trying to discredit you. Their intentions are definitely not good, and you deserve to be surrounded by people who care about what you say and how you feel!
89 Responses
Ive had this done to me. I was told I was too emotional and even childish. Now I admit I am not perfect and I have my troubles. But I tried and I tried hard to appease the other person. I did what I needed to do never asked for anything and tried to stay out of their way. But that was never enough. He complained that all I was doing was raising his bills. It was such a hurtful situation to be in. Constantly belittled and told to suck it up. He even told me that his words should not alter my emotions. I was told to do better..I was drained emotionally and afraid.
That’s so sad. You should have dropped him like a hot cake. I hope you’re better these days.
Same here insults daily and when I would bite back he would be offended and act hurt always saying mean things to me.
Kick his ass out… He has low self esteem and is projecting his insecurities onto you. You deserve better!
That sounds like my ex-husband. It’s been seven years now, but he still gives me nightmares.
He was a narssist 100%. You could have been perfect at everything and he still would have been the same way towards you. I bet he was never sorry or apologetic either. Its him who was the failure…he failed to show you love, respect, kindness, emotional support or anything you deserved, and were probably promised. What did you do wrong? Let me guess…everything right?(according to him). I hope you healed from it. It’s horrible to be with one. They can’t fix it, or face their demons, so they project all their own crap on their partner and then hate them for it (instead of themselves). Once they destroy someone’s self love and confidence they just move on, guilt free, and play the victim. Sadly they believe it. If a narssist hits someone, and that person gets upset. The only issue they will talk about is how you being upset was an attack on them. It’s a total mind f#@! to loving people.
And me, I’m a big people pleaser. Way more than I ought to be, more than is comfortable to me. As I enter my forties I’ve realized that about me. And I’m working to fine tune my people pleasing traits. But I’m in a relationship with a narcissist. I am slowly backing away, he is causing me pain this very afternoon by ignoring me. Either way, I have a confession to make. I don’t know where to go to make friends these days, and I need to find out. I’m 41 and self employed. I used to make new friends walking the street or often online. But the last few years those resources haven’t been returning any new friends. Any advice?? I live in Miami, I paint for a living people’s homes.
Sounds like to me that he’s a narcissist. It’s a really good thing if you get away from there as soon as you can without telling him, just get up and leave when he’s gone or something.!!!
this is something that happened to me with my wife. She did all of the above five. I decided to stop giving her any fuel for her stupid fire and manipulation. Things have actually gotten better between us because I forced the issue and stopped acknowledging her and her behaviour. Eventually she realized I am not her fool. That one is one and done long before I met her. I was hurt and I did have to adjust to living with someone who still feels far at times. I did it so our children could grow up with both parents and if anything it has made me not only stronger, wiser but also now do not give or take any thing for granted any more and I mean the smallest things like someone would care if I am hurt or have something bad happen to me. I have also turned over my being to higher level spiritual and mental states where I do not need or want other people input although once in a while I see there are some genuine souls out there. I gave my wife one last chance and now that the children are out of the nest that is the last chance we are going to have and the crazy part is I plan on staying my genuine self and being nice even then.
All the above sounds all too familiar to me, my wife is one of those, every chance she has there’s some snide put down, however what I find is those that engage in that type behavior are the ones that are lacking in self esteem and the way they combat that is by lashing out at others,they can be as mean to anyone as they choose but when you respond in kind they’re extremely hurt.
My neighbor gives me a creepy feeling. He can be nice to others, but not to me. I personally feel, my gut feeling, is that he feels threatened by me, because I am independent, and I don’t have a problem standing up for myself. He knows I have been widowed for many years. He is a bully, and Bullys his girlfriend. He has 2 distinct different personalities that I recognize. I choose to avoid him and have little to no conversations with him. I don’t care for his Negativity. I feel it, and refuse to be a part of his ways.
My neighbor is also a bully and has threatened me . Vandalized my property and accuses me of things I haven’t done . I’ve tried to ignore him but he verbally abuses me and takes pictures of me every time I am outside. I have sensed his danger from the first encounter and things keep getting worse.
Have you contacted law enforcement? Do you have a restraining order against him? In case you must defend yourself against him on your property.
I would put him on notice if he steps on your property it’s trespassing verbal assaults amounts to harassment document incidents hope you have help and support from your neighbors
Good for you!
I am the same way and abusive men don’t like independent women at all. Continue to ignore him and stand your ground with him when necessary. Don’t be afraid to call the police on him and keep your doors locked and your guard up at all times you never know with this type in the neiborhood. There are lots of this type around. Lock, load, and carry!
My husband has forgets what hes done and lies about small things.
Don’t put up with liars and people whom don’t respect you !!! You deserve better , don’t you ?
He may simply have the early Alzheimer’s and be fearful, ashamed, or want to hide it deny it or avoid being belittled. Try telling him….you didn’t forget, great, but most forget at times. I know I do. Then go on like normal. That may help him feel secure enough to start being honest.
He’s not forgetting. He’s manipulating you, and gaslighting you. I hope you can get rid of him.
my husband sometimes makes jokes about me belittle me. I stay away from him and do house work and cook.and web browsing. He never does any chores without me asking him. I even have to ask him to take the garbage out. Don’t understand why he doesn’t know it needs out every day.
He knows it, but as long as you do it he doesn’t have to. Stop doing his laundry and see how quick he complains! Your response is; OH I thought you were doing it, since they’re not my dirty clothes.
Get rid of him. You don’t need someone like that to make your life miserable.
Maybe a marriage counselor or Pastor could help?
I went to a pastor After my marriage was crumbling, he told me he couldn’t help me Because I wasn’t married through The Catholic Church.
All the above sounds all too familiar to me, my wife is one of those, every chance she has there’s some snide put down, however what I find is those that engage in that type behavior are the ones that are lacking in self esteem and the way they combat that is by lashing out at others,they can be as mean to anyone as they choose but when you respond in kind they’re extremely hurt.
Because he doesn’t care, my ex thought anything to do with our home life was my job! He was just lazy & didn’t give a rats ass bout anything but him
Sounds like the asshole doesn’t truly care about anything( truly not even himself ), so you can’t expect him to care for you. He might be in line for a wake up call… I know I did! Good luck to you✌🏼! And good vibes goes out to the loyal lady who has good intentions for her marriage.
Men like that aren’t secure in their manhood, some feel doing chores like washing the dishes, making the bed are women only jobs, I’m from the Virgin Islands and had some very strong women role models in my life and because of that I can cook, sew ,wash the laundry, fold and make a bed and I’m not ashamed of saying so,all you women need to stand tall and show those loser the door.
Hello, I am a hairdresser and am keenly aware of people’s energies and body language. As such, I have had to learn to guard myself from psychic “vampires”. I look for and try to detect passive aggressive behavior, lying or fibbing and verbal abuse/ gaslighting. It’s exhausting physically, and emotionally. I hope that people in general can learn to be more open for asking for what they need so as not to have to turn to these maneuvers/ behaviors. That’s all I’ve got.
Amy, I myself am a Cosmetologist and Find myself doing exactly the same as you if not careful you can drain your own energy’s
This is a person that I let stay in my home. These tare the things that he has tried on me. Even the gas lighting. God knows. I’m just glad that he is gone early before I get up and doesn’t come back till late at night. So I’m not around him that much. On the weekends he has his kids here but he usually takes them somewhere and is gone mostly
But I want him out so I’m trusting God that He will help me
My friend had people in her house taking advantage. She asked them to go and they wouldn’t. She took them to court and had them thrown out.
Good for her. She did the right thing.
God helps those who help themselves.. Tell this person to find a new place because your done putting up with him and his BS ! Have the police drop by your house to do a wellness check and make sure this person is there when they show up … That will insure he sees your not without support from the authorities !!! If that doesn’t work you can always have him evicted for making your life feel as though you feel threatened !!
No where in the Bible does God say He will only help you if you help yourself. Just the opposite, He says give all your worries to Him. That is a man-made statement that is not biblical.
Great advice!
Yes,prayer is good BUT God can’t make him go…only u can do that..don’t b afraid he know it’s coming eventually..you MUST put urself above all others ( again,u sound like a very faithful,spiritual person so ..all others NoT God..) you have to confront this person I know u don’t want to but it’s the only way…I have been there and done that …and u will be damned and called names and then maybe threatened and told u are “gonna be sorry,”and “how could u do this to me”…Unless this person is a sociopath and crazy he’s NoT gonna go to jail for you,so don’t be scared…however and I mean this IF u fear this person for good reason,he’s violent or whatever…don’t do this without the courts knowledge …they will help and protect you
Nope….God helps those who help themselves. Stop wishing for God to help. Pray God gives you the strength to help yourself.
I really hope he is out now at this point. Nobody deserves to have to live that way.
I have been scammed by a man that said he was in the military and on a mission, but he hadn’t been paid yet, so would I send $25 to feed his dog that he took on the mission, so I sent it.
Then he asked for $100 to feed his dog and him for a week, I sent an Apple Card each time, but I call Apple and told them what was going on, they said it was a scam, thankfully I saved cards and receipts, the did shut him down and give my money back.
If the card was bought in the USA it can’t be used in another country, and is not used for food! I have given all the information to the authorities and they are going to take care of him!
Who are the authorities helping you? I’ve had a similar experience losing a lot more monies.
I’ve even been contacted thru emails by the DEPARTMENT OF FINANCE NYC and an African Bank
based in NYC with no response from them.
Good for you ! A news cam out there is ( you receive a phone call and a person with say ( I’m so and so and you told me to call you back ) or they will say ( Hello , Call you hear me ? ) these calls are trying to get you to say (. YES ) so they can use your voice print to use for on-line purchases !! They may have your data from a breach in a companies servers !!! Happens all the time!! So if you receive one of these calls say (No , I can’t hear you or No, I don’t know you ) and Hang up on them !!!
A similar scam was trying to get me to send an Apple Card he was on a mission as well and he wasn’t able to get food on the ship. I laugh and wait I’ll send it. He still waiting…..
I also have suffered the same. Can you provide the details on how you reported this person-and recovered your monies.
Good for you!!
Hi I am 78. am being scammed by a 38yr old man who was supposed to be helping me. He barely lifts a finger so I need to clean up the kitchen messes by myself. We had always laughed and joked together,
at different subjects, sometimes risque. Now he’s accusing me of flirting with him or something like that. He had taken off in my car all day long and came home with that excuse. I told him he needs to move asap. I don’t know what’s going to happen next, I feel so uncomfortable around him. And I’m so humiliated that he is probably telling our acquaintances the same thing. I tried to get ahead of him and explained to them what he is pulling on me. But I still feel mortified.
When someone at the gym tells you about your body, not really a compliment.
Then makes a comment regarding a statement you said and they then walk away.
Don’t let them get to you. They are playing a game with with you.
my ex-husband exactly
if you walk with the wise you will become wise. but if you have dealings with the stupid ones you will fare badly.
bad associactions can corrupt. you can act like them. avoid harmful people as much as you can. avoid arguments that make things worse.be patient. be kind. be a caring person. phillipians chapter 4 verse 8 mentions what we should be. good advice for every one. any one a opposed to this would be foolish. even a non bible person can appreciate this great advice. read the scripture and see for yourself how good it is.
I agree with you completely
Amen
True!
Yes I’m have been talking with someone. I feel he’s a scammer. Yes I love him. I have not met him. Yes I have given him money and now I feel I have lost everything. Every times he’s asked for money and I have given to him afterwards don’t feel right. I feel it wasn’t right. Thank you.
Stoppppppp it now!!! He’s not real. He’s playing you. Why do you love him? Please stop right now.
Don’t give anyone money you don’t know. Be careful. He sounds he wanted control.
Omg! I know people who have done this and have been totally scammed! I’ve never heard of this going well!! Please protect yourself and be safe!
Bale as soon as you can !!! Unhealthy relationships are hazardous to you well being ! Sounds like you’re a giving person , so find someone worthy of you ! My first thoughts from hearing your short words , here we go again with the bad games !!!! Cut your losses and move on as fast as you can .. Your expending your energy on someone not worth your time !!!
DO NOT FALL FOR THESE SCAMS!!!! If they start asking for money, cut it off IMMEDIATELY!!!! I dont care if you love them or not, they do not love you, only your money!!! Sorry to tell you like this but please wake up before you are homeless!!!
You can’t love someone you don’t know for real. You love the idea of being in love and you build this ilusionary image of them. You feel like you know them but you really don’t. It is all an emotional deception. Believe me, I know. They skillfully play on your emotions. They use key romantic words and phrases that mean nothing. Do Not Belive any of it. Cut your losses and Just drop them like a hot potatato.Don’ t even explain and never respond back. Have a dignity. Save your life.
I am staying with an acquaintance and he is taking financially advantage of me. He thinks that I am dumb. He won’t issue m a receipt for paying him rent. As far as I know, he is not declaring the rent that I am paying. I don’t smoke. He complained that he is tight on money yet he buys cigarettes and alcohol. His wife is in a care facility and he is always depressed about it. He is on prescription medications and he drinks alcohol – bad combination. H doesn’t realize that effects of smoking and the second hand smoke that affects me. He is a pervert and I am moving away from him.
Good for you I hope by now you are a better judge of character
I am 60 yrs old being pursued by a 43 yr old. He says he’s very attracted to me and hasn’t asked me for anything other than my time, but I can’t help feeling like he’s only throwing compliments and advances in order to gain something due to the 17 yr age difference. Very confused. Am I wrong to feel some negativity?
Just be very, very careful and follow your intuition. Don’t get in a situation with him that will lock you in so you can’t get out on a moment’s notice. Trust yourself, not him or anyone else.
Sound advice how she heeds it
Use caution. Investigate him.
No, you are not wrong.
Follow your instincts.
Cut him loose!
No you are being cautious. If he cares like he says he will understand. If he is up to no good he will probably get upset about it .. you have to be cautious these days.
Yes, I know most people seem too be honest but I always attract the bad ones so I destined to live my life alone. I’m so tired of the lies and getting ripped off
I have lived the last 24 years with just my dog. My dog is more loving and caring than most people. I enjoy my solitude, no one bossing me, no arguing, no worries about if he will be home tonight, no worries about the bills being paid or not. Such peace, I do have friends that I enjoy time with.
Yup totally agree dogs are best friends, always the first ones to greet you will never leave with your stuff, mine likes to go on joy rides to the park and meet and greet other furry friends Good Boy “Barney” he’s a border collie
Well as someone who is a little older now and knows it ( the mirror doesn’t speak nor lie ) I find myself a bit more aware of body language these days and have found that my intuition in regard to people has been pretty spot on, I can immediately pick-up on weather or not someone even wants to engage in conversation just by the way they look at me, I don’t always make that the deciding factor but I have things running through my mind now and if there should be conversation, if that person doesn’t want to look at me when we talk well I’m already feeling things. most of the time I would have to say my gut feelings about someone or something are pretty accurate even if I can’t exactly put my finger on it, listen to yourself, you won’t lie to you!
Someone who who cares about your feelings won’t ask you for mo ey or anything really if they know it makes you uncomfortable in any way
These 5 signs are from a family member, a sister and my daughter. So am I to rid of these people in my life?
God helps those that help themselves. After all, He has so many people to help. Take my advice…End it before u regret it…Good luck to you, always
I have an acquaintance that does all of these things except make jokes. In place of that, they always point out, or create and mention some kind of simplistic failure. It’s basically a form of belittling. They say things like your vehicle is parked too close to the road, you might want to move it. Or, they might say something like, if you plug that in right now, your food might be too hot and burn someone. Which is a different form of manipulation, but also carries with it a bit of humiliation, because it’s usually done in a group setting, with other people listening. In addition to all of this, I have very rarely ever been able to finish any kind of two minute story without them either interrupting to talk to someone else, or they have simply just walked away. You talk about feeling basically worthless, not even being worthy of having someone fully listen to a very simple story. And believe me the story is only a couple of sentences long in anticipation of them doing this, because they’ve done it so many times you expect it to happen. The only reason I’m still around this person is because other genuine, caring friends are friends of theirs also.
It’s so hard to know that people get scammed this day and age. The internet isn’t real. It’s make believe. You think you are talking to a man, when it could be a woman. You think they live in one place, yet live somewhere across the world. I am so sorry people have been scammed and feel they are in love with a fictional person. Meet the person face to face. That is the only way to guarantee they are who they say. Even then, people cannot always be trusted. God Bless ❤️
I met a man that wanted to make out and grope me. He was making me feel uncomfortable and told me that I was to tightly wound. First he said he liked me a lot then when I mentioned that I wasn’t at the same place he was he dropped me.
Good! You don’t need a person like that.
Guillermo C says. When I was an engineering undergraduate, for a first time I approached a classmate possibly to discuss class notes. The closer I got to him I started to have a very weird feeling like a repulsive force wanted to keep me away from him. It was a first time in my life i experienced such a weird feeling, it was a repulsive eerie feeling. I relate this experience being a person that was not a believer may I add a skeptical in such a called personal biosphere. After wards I started to investigate physiological body qualities. I found out we humans do have electrical fields running our body; our muscles use electrical signal to move etc. It was then that I understood that perhaps human electrical polarity does play a significant role in interpersonal relation including the “weird” feeling experience as an undergraduate. Any comments?
Interesting and plausible theory. Perhaps present that observation and idea to someone in Psychology education.
I live with a person who lying for no reason how do you deal with a person like that? It’s hard for me to know when they are telling me the truth.
When I was a teenager was at a library waiting outside to be picked up by mom. There was a scary creepy kind of guy who was observing me from afar. He went around the corner figured he’d left. But he came back and a woman pulled up in a car and said she saw what he was doing and asked me to get in. I did but as we spoke she started revealing more than about what she could have saw and my reasoning mind said it’s not possible. I knew I was in real danger as she obviously was involved as to what I did not know. She kept insisting I leave with her and stated I wouldn’t. At that time I had already scoped out the vehicle planned my escape route. Mom finally showed up and I got out of the car. We drove away and I felt the most sinking feeling in my body. As it turns out only a few months as it was all over the papers and the news later the individuals were serial murderer Richard beigenwald the thrill killer and his wife faces you never forget. It’s true. You should listen to your gut and instincts… it was the thing that saved my life from a horrible demise
Holy cow! That’s a wild story. They say though that 1 in 10 is a narcissist, psychopath or sociopath so, I can believe it. You are certainly lucky to have escaped. My goodness
The best way to avoid this is to not deal with people at all. I know for myself that dealing with people only drains my energy and this is a fact. People are energy suckers just like vampires and the less that I’m around them, I feel a whole lite better. It’s one main reason why I looked for a different job. I’m still around people yet the biggest plus is not having to deal with the PUBLIC all day long. That’s draining and my life is less stressful because of the switch and I’m grateful for it. Best thing to do is limit contact with people and your life will be soo much better. I did that for myself and my life is stress free, peaceful, and quiet.
I have a friend who is constantly making negative remarks about me but in a joking manner. She has mentioned my clumsiness, forgetfulness, hearing and other things. She always says she is joking, but it doesn’t feel that way to me. Often I feel she is using her friendship with me for personal favors. I certainly have had the gut feeling that the friendship is one sided. Should I just stop communicating with her?
As a rule I don’t give money to anyone on line. I’ve seen that military scam before. There are people making tens of thousand dollars a year asking anyone for money, Just say no!!!
Trust no one!
I was married to someone like this for 5 years. He was a gaslighter. He kicked me and my son out of the house. The second time he thought i would beg to come back again, i didn’t. It took years of counseling for me and my son to recover from how he treated us.