Are you worried about your relationship?
At the beginning stages of a relationship, people tend to neglect the red flags for many reasons. It’s either because they’re in love, they’re having so much fun with each other, they really want to be in a relationship at all costs, or maybe it’s that age where they desperately want to take things a step further.
And I totally get it, a new love is so exciting that sometimes you might want to focus on the things that work well, instead of focusing on the ones that don’t. While it’s nothing wrong with that, it’s important to acknowledge the fact that early relationship problems could become even worse over time.
If ignoring the red flags could backfire in the future, you need to do yourself a favor and never accept something you’re not ok with. It doesn’t really matter if your partner is very jealous and controlling, or that you’re constantly fighting over the little things, or even if things are not going very well in the bedroom, neglecting these issues will only lead to future problems and unnecessary drama.
According to California-based relationship expert Dr. Alisa Ruby Bash, PsyD, LMFT, it can be very tricky at the beginning stages of a relationship, because people are usually on their best behavior. Imagine that the red flags you see at the beginning of a relationship will only get worse in time. Your fights will get worse, your jealousy will reach new levels, and chances are you still won’t have any chemistry in bed. And now you need to ask yourself if it’s worth it.
And don’t get me wrong, giving your partner the benefit of the doubt can be a good idea in the early stages of a relationship. Also, you can take some time to work on things and get to know them better.
According to Dr. Bash, maybe they’ll learn to control their bad behavior. “But, in cases where … there are some incompatibilities from the beginning, it’s probably best to fold and move on because that is not going to get better,” she added.
Read on to discover the most common relationship problems that could become worse in the future, according to experts!
You’re not communicating.
Learning how to communicate in a relationship is probably one of the most important aspects and something you’ll have to work on forever. There will still be bad moments throughout the relationship because even strong couples have their ups and downs, however, it’s important how you manage those moments.
If you’re having communication problems from the beginning, you need to start working on them as soon as possible, because they can get even worse over time. Your relationship will suffer the most if you don’t learn how to communicate and listen to each other. The good news is, this problem can be solved if you’re willing to work on it.
You have nothing in common.
While it’s ok to be different, having no things in common or being with someone who’s your total opposite can cause a lot of problems along the way. As Dr. Bash would explain, having no common ground could eventually lead to living completely separate lives from one another.
If you’re more of an introvert while your partner is an extrovert, you like to do a lot of fun activities out in nature while your partner won’t even step outside, or your partner loves traveling while you hate it, these things can make you spend more time apart than together in the future.
And with time, it can become frustrating. However, you might be completely different and things could still work out if both of you allow yourself to enjoy the things you like while trying to find common interests that work for both.
Your partner is too controlling.
As previously mentioned, at the beginning stages of a relationship people tend to be on their best behavior, so it can be hard to know the real person, especially when they want to impress you. However, people cannot go very long without showing their true faces.
If your partner is already showing signs of toxic behavior, they’re being too controlling or demanding, you need to know that things could become even worse over time when they’re more comfortable with you.
“These will not only get worse but could also … foreshadow a potentially abusive partner,” Dr. Bash said. A good idea would be to try to discuss these aspects as soon as you identify them. Maybe they didn’t even realize you were affected by their behavior.
If you really like them and you don’t want to give up the relationship just yet, you could always try couples therapy. But if the relationship feels toxic even after you’ve tried to work through the issues, it might be wise to part ways and move on.
There’s no chemistry in the bedroom.This is actually much more common than you’d think, but the good news is it can be improved by learning to communicate and experiment with your partner. Over time you might even solve this ‘problem’ completely, but it is certainly not as easy as it appears.
However, if there’s no chemistry whatsoever between you and your partner and you’re not willing to discuss it, chances are it’s not going to change. While it can be an awkward topic for some people, you need to pen up to your partner about what you like and do not like in the bedroom.
According to Dr. Bash, that could be a serious problem, considering the beginning of a relationship is usually the time when most people can’t get their hands off each other. If the chemistry isn’t there at the beginning, chances are it will never be, because usually it only goes down from there.
But doesn’t necessarily have to be a big deal, but you need to decide if this topic is important for you or not, and then let your partner know what you think.
Money.
Couples have been fighting about money forever, and it usually becomes more common after getting married. That’s why you shouldn’t ignore this issue when it appears in the early stages of a relationship.
If you two have different spending habits and can’t seem to come to an agreement when it comes to money, this problem could become even worse in the future. Maybe now you’re fighting over how to split the restaurant bill or who does the groceries, but very soon you’ll have bigger problems, including rent, bills, and even children.
According to the speaker and life coach Jaya Jaya Myra, money is an important part of our lives, and that’s why you need to understand how you and your partner relate to it. Don’t break up with someone just because you can’t see eye to eye when it comes to money. Try to have an open conversation and focus on finding solutions to your problems.
They’re very secretive about money.
Not wanting to discuss financial issues at the beginning of the relationship is normal, as you’d probably want to make a good impression and that’s definitely a discussion for another time. But that doesn’t mean it’s ok to avoid this topic forever.
It’s important to let your partner know about your financial problems early on, including spending habits, poor credit scores, or even debt. As coach Todd Burkhalter explained, these problems will come to light at one point or another, so there’s no need to hide them.
“The trust that is lost spills over into distrust in other areas,” he added.
You’re not talking about your boundaries.
Neglecting to talk about what you’re willing to accept in a relationship, and what you’re not ok with can cause a lot of problems in the future and can lead to resentment. According to dating expert Lisa Concepcion, founder of LoveQuestCoaching, you can’t love someone “no matter what”, that’s why it’s important to establish healthy boundaries at the beginning of the relationship.
This way, you and your partner will know what type of behavior is not acceptable and you’ll try to avoid it. Creating healthy boundaries could prevent a lot of future arguments.
You’re dealing with certain issues from the past.
If you’re in the early stages of the relationship and you’re already fighting about ex-partners or family members, chances are these problems will only become worse after a while. according to As relationship expert Stef Safran, if you have problems dealing with things from their past, make sure you have an open conversation with your partner, where you make them understand what are you willing to accept and what not.
Talk about your boundaries, and then let your partner tell you about theirs, and try to find a way to deal with these issues. This problem could be easily solved if you both respect each other’s opinions.
Your partner is disrespectful and dishonest.
Probably one of the red flags that should never ever be ignored is someone who’s been disrespectful or dishonest with you since the beginning. If you’re on your first date and they’re already disrespectful, imagine how will they be one year into the relationship.
According to Concepcion, “If you notice a wandering eye or words and actions not matching up and your gut simply says ‘this doesn’t feel right,’ pay close attention.”
It could be a sign that they’re not trustworthy and that behavior could lead to a toxic relationship in the future.
Make sure you learn how to spot these issues by reading about them!
Infidelity.
While you might accept a wandering eye, cheating is definitely off the table. If you’ve just started dating and you’re already suspecting your partner of cheating, don’t waste any more time and effort on the relationship.
According to psychologist and radio host Dr. Joshua Klapow, probably one of the most destructive issues in a relationship is infidelity. Once you’ve found out that your partner has been cheating on you, the trust gets broken and you’ll probably lose all respect for them. And it’s not easy getting them back.
You have trust issues.
When trust gets broken, is almost impossible to get it back. According to Dr. Klapow, that’s because “trust is the foundation of all relationships,” and nothing would be possible without it. So even when you think a wandering eye is not problematic in the early stages of a relationship, it might get even worse over time.
Most of the time, women especially, tend to compare themselves a lot to other women. Therefore, if you’re the type of man that always turns their head every time they see a beautiful woman, your partner’s self-confidence might be affected. And that’s how trust issues come to life.
If you’ve found out about your partner’s infidelity, it might be even harder if not impossible to trust them again. If their infidelity becomes a pattern, do yourself a favor and move on. It will save you a lot of tears.
You just can’t see eye-to-eye.
As previously mentioned, good communication is key in a relationship. According to Rhonda Milrad, relationship expert and founder of Relationup, “Couples need good communication skills, and this is especially true during the conflict.”
If you have trouble communicating at the beginning of a relationship, these problems will only become worse over time, as life gets more complicated and challenges begin to appear. If you and your partner are not seeing eye-to-eye, you’re not understanding or listening to each other, take this matter into your own hands and bring this topic up for discussion.
Avoiding talking about those issues won’t make them disappear, in fact, the relationship will become even more toxic from now on. The sooner you start working on those issues, the better your relationship will be.
And if you’re feeling isolated and lonely, you should definitely be checking out these brilliant ways to cope and combat such feelings!
