If we could live in a perfect world, we wouldn’t be scared or ashamed to express how we’re feeling. We would know for sure how to tell someone that we love them, without having feelings that are hitting us at the speed of light at once.
Unfortunately, we live in the real world, which is full of different people and we might not know everything that they are thinking. We can try and guess or attempt different approaches to find out what we want.
A little help never hurt anybody, so if you were curious about how you can tell if someone is secretly in love with you, then this is the perfect article for you!
1. They are empathetic with you
When something happens to you and you tell them, they are not just sympathetic, but empathetic as well. This means that they will try to understand you on a deeper level and they imagine themselves in your place.
According to Dr. Suzana E. Flores, a clinical psychologist, someone that is secretly in love with you will care a lot about your feelings and your general well-being. With that being said, if you were doubting that a person might like you more than you think, pay attention to their reaction the next time you are telling them something that has happened to you.
2. They are constantly trying to help you
It doesn’t matter what you need or what you’re trying to do, if they believe they can help you, they will offer to do it. Even if you only tell them what you need just for the sake of conversation, they will do anything they can to make sure that you have everything you wish for.
Also, they will use the fact that they are about to help you as an excuse to simply spend some time with you. On the other hand, make sure you don’t take their help for granted. Just because someone is nice to you, it doesn’t mean that you should expect them to do the same every time.
3. They always listen to what you have to say
You might feel like you can talk about everything with this person. That’s because they seem to not judge you, to listen carefully to what you’re saying and they will demonstrate that they are actually interested. They will ask you about how your day was, what you have been doing lately, what your plans for the next day are, and all sorts of things.
You will be sure that they are feeling something for you when you see that they remember everything you said. Maybe you will forget a conversation you had with them, but they won’t, and will show you that.
4.They remember small details about you
This one is really important because it really shows they have deep feelings for you! When you have a conversation with them and start to say all types of things, they will pay attention to everything you say and will remember. This doesn’t happen only when you are talking, but also when you do something. They will observe all kinds of things about you, hoping you will see that.
They will remember your birthday, your favorite color, the last book you read and the list can go on. Even if you don’t tell or show them directly something, they will look at you from a distance and they will find a lot of the things that you do interesting.
5. They tend to look at you a lot
When a person likes you a lot, they tend to constantly look at you. When you are in a group, they analyze you and even though they might not like everything about you, the positive aspects are more important than the negative ones.
According to Zick Rubin, a psychologist from Harvard, there is a connection between love and eye contact. He studied couples who were completely in love and found that the partners look at each other 75% of the time while they are talking, compared to people who are not in love but are still engaged in a conversation. They tend to look at one another about 30-60% of the time. When someone loves you, they will look deeply at you and directly into your eyes, in order to be more present with you.
6. You feel safe with them
This one is a little tricky and it’s not about the person you “suspect” has secret feelings for you, but it’s also about yourself and the fact that you might have feelings as well.
When you are around them, you feel like you are being protected, you are feeling safe, happy as if you don’t need anything else. That’s because you start to fall for them which shows that they behave like that because they like you. People aren’t nice ALL THE TIME for no reason, and they are not trying to make you happy every second of the day.
7. They are confident in general but awkward around you
This might seem like something from teen movies, when a high school basketball player falls for a girl. Even though he is extremely confident both at school and in his personal life, when he sees the girl he likes, he can’t even walk straight.
Don’t judge a book by its cover, because this happens to everyone, regardless of age! They will try everything they can to make a good impression and will be very self-conscious around you. Maybe they will get shy and they can act a little bit clumsy when they see you.
8. They are defending you
If there are people who are angry or upset with you and they see that, they will do everything they can to defend you in front of others. If you were the one who did something wrong, they will ask you to have a word in private with them and they will give you constructive criticism.
You will see that they care about you enough to take your side in public, but they are still rational and will tell you honestly that you didn’t do something right. This way, you will realize that you have someone you can count on, regardless of the situation.
9. Their friends know everything about you
Pay attention to this sign, because it’s really important! Maybe you don’t know who their friends are, but they sure know everything about you. When someone has feelings for somebody, they tend to talk to their friends or even family about them. They can’t help it, but they constantly talk about you and also, smile while doing so.
If you find yourself in a situation where you meet their friends or family members, they can make jokes about you and your secret admirer. This person may blush a little because they agree with their close ones.
10. They open up about their lives
Besides making YOU feel secure and protected, they also feel the same around you. They already like the way you behave and the way you think, so they feel comfortable with sharing details and different experiences from their lives with you.
If you see that when you are in public they are a little more reserved, it’s a clear sign that they truly value your opinions, and they care about what you have to say. Maybe they will ask you for advice because they trust you.
Make sure you don’t laugh or criticize the things that they might be insecure about, because you’ll give them a reason to question their feelings towards you. You can share your honest thoughts, but in the nicest way possible.
There you have it: a few ways to tell if someone is secretly in love with you. It doesn’t matter if you are 18 or 60 years old, all people can be shy from time to time. That’s because when you are around someone you care deeply about, you try harder to make a good impression; which can sometimes seem clumsy, but also cute.
Depends on you if you want to take things further knowing that a person does these things around you. Until next time, don’t forget that love is one of the most beautiful things you can experience!