Being in a relationship is not always easy, and there will be challenges you have to overcome as a couple in order to thrive. But you can’t do that when your partner does not love you unconditionally. Someone who loves you and wants the relationship to work out will accept the fact that you’re not perfect, and they’re not either. After all, who is? We’re all human, trying out best to succeed in life. Yes, we make mistakes, we have flaws, but that’s what makes us unique.
Being in a relationship sometimes means learning how to love your partner’s flaws because loving their qualities is peace of cake. However, when you love your partner unconditionally, but they don’t love you in the same way, then you have a problem.
Some say a relationship is never truly equal, that one will always love more than the other, but why should you settle for that? Someone who doesn’t love you as much as they should never treat you as good as you deserve. When that kind of love doesn’t exist in a relationship, you’ll see certain signs and patterns in your partner’s behavior that you shouldn’t ignore. Your partner’s actions might indicate that they’re not fully invested in your relationship.
But that doesn’t mean the relationship is over. As Julienne B. Derichs, LCPC, of Couples Counseling Today has explained, you can work on your relationship and make it better for both of you. Read on to discover the 11 signs your partner might not love you as much as you love them!
1.Your partner keeps you hidden.
According to Derichs, if “your partner keeps you in a ‘box’ and doesn’t integrate you in their life and sees no need to be part of yours, aside from the time you spend alone together,” it might be a red flag that they’re not invested in the relationship.
But that doesn’t mean your relationship is doomed, because that’s something you can work on with your partner. Therefore, if it’s bothering you that your significant other is keeping you hidden, you should be more vocal about it. Otherwise, nothing will change. However, if you talk to them about it and they still don’t change their behavior towards you, it’s definitely a sign that they don’t love you enough, and probably they never will, or at least not the way you want them to.
Next, the blame game isn’t a game after all…..
2. Your partner blames you for everything that goes wrong in their life.
As relationship coaches Diana and Todd Mitchem have explained, if your significant other blames you for everything that’s not going right in your relationship, it’s definitely a red flag that they don’t respect you.
“We always say that blaming creates shame in a relationship,” the two coaches added. Someone who blames you for the things that don’t go as planned is also someone that’s trying to change you, and someone who tries to change you does not love you for who you are, and maybe they never well.
Therefore, if your partner does all these things, you need to be vocal about it and let them know that you’re not ok with this behavior. Maybe they have a good explanation for their behavior, however, if they don’t change, you shouldn’t waste any more of your time.
Someone who loves you will never try to change you. Instead, they’ll love all your flaws as much as they love your qualities. Moving on is more than ok, and you should definitely do that if the love you give isn’t reciprocated.
Next, everyone’s a critic…..
3. Your partner criticizes you all the time.
If you’re in a relationship with someone that criticizes everything you do, it could be because they’re not as invested in your relationship as you are. And according to many relationship experts, this is not a good sign for the future of your relationship.
According to Julienne B. Derichs, if your significant other criticizes all your moves and believes you’re not good enough, they’ll likely want to change you, and someone who wants that is someone that doesn’t love you enough.
And don’t get me wrong, it’s ok to not be on the same page all the time with your partner, after all, we’re all different. However, constant criticism is the recipe for disaster and a red flag that your partner is not invested in the relationship.
If you really want to make things work, you need to make a pact with your significant other and try to work on becoming a better person. according to Derichs, if you really work for it, you could become more compatible in the end, it’s up to you.
However, don’t try to change the other person, and don’t change yourself for them.
Try not to forget this next one…..
4. Your partner never remembers the important events.
If you’re in a relationship with someone that never remembers your anniversary as a couple, your birthday, or other important events in your life, it might be because they don’t love you as much as you’d want them to.
This could be a sign that your relationship is doomed. Even so, you can work and make things better, unless it becomes a pattern. As Jonathan Bennett, certified counselor and co-founder of Double Trust Dating and Relationships has explained, someone who loves you deeply won’t always forget the important moments in your life, such as anniversaries, birthdays, date nights, or others.
Also, responding to texts is vital in a relationship. If your partner always leaves you on reading and forgets to call you back, it could be because you’re not a priority for them. If these things happen on a frequent basis, you’ll end up very frustrated and I can’t see how things are going to work between you two.
Next, and the winner isn’t…..
5. Your partner likes to keep score during arguments.
The secret to a long-lasting relationship is to know when to let things slide. It’s not always easy, especially when you have a different opinion about something, but it’s very important in order to avoid big arguments from happening.
After all, you’re partners, playing in the same team, it shouldn’t be about keeping score and winning the argument. But if you’re in a relationship with someone that always keeps score during arguments, it might be a red flag that your feelings aren’t reciprocated.
According to Derichs, if your partner likes to remind you that you’re flawed and make mistakes, it’s their way of trying to control and manipulate you. Someone who loves you unconditionally will never do this to you. Ony toxic people focus on your weakness.
Once again, you can resolve this problem by simply talking to your partner and tell them how they make you feel. If nothing changes after the talk, it’s definitely a sign that they’re not invested in the relationship.
Next, needs must?…..
6. Your partner does not consider your needs.
According to Derichs, someone who doesn’t love you unconditionally will always put their needs before your own. Therefore, if your partner thinks you’re being too dramatic, intense, or messy, and they’re constantly trying to minimize your needs, it might be a sign that they’re not as invested in the relationship as you’d want them to be.
Someone who loves you will support you through both the good and the bad times, because that’s what life’s about, and we all have our ups and downs in this journey. Of course, it’s ok to establish boundaries when it comes to helping your partner, but someone who loves you will do everything in their power to see you happy.
You shouldn’t settle for anything less than that!
Next, in sickness and in health?…..
7. Your partner bails every time you’re sick.
While being there for someone in good times is very easy, nothing tests a relationship more than illness. Therefore, if your partner is not there with you when you’re not feeling well, it’s a red flag that they only want you when it’s convenient for them.
As therapist Kimberly Hershenson, LMSW has explained, “if your partner doesn’t take care of you when you aren’t feeling well or is even grossed out by you being sick,” it could be because they don’t love and care for you.
When someone loves you, they’ll be there for you in both the good and the bad times. Even though moments like this can be hard to handle, you just need to be there for your partner and let them know that, even though there’s nothing else you can do. But when your partner can’t even do that, then do yourself a favor and end things. You deserve more than someone who bails when you’re not feeling well.
Next, first things first…..
8. Your partner never puts you first.
In order for your relationship to thrive, you have to learn to put your partner first from time to time. According to Rose Lawrence, licensed therapist and relationship expert, LPCC, someone who loves you thinks of you not because they have to, but rather because they want to.
“While some individuals may suffer from what I call ‘me-itis’ … if those individuals are willing to learn that’s a great thing. However, once they are given some time to learn or catch on, if there are zero improvements then that is a sure sign they are not in the love boat with you” she added.
Next, we look at the core of something important, or not?…..
9. Your partner doesn’t care about the things that are important to you.
You never get to know someone entirely, that’s why you keep learning new things about them, even when you’ve been together for more than a decade. However, it’s essential that you know your partner’s core values, and they know yours.
According to Bennett, someone who loves you will be interested in finding everything bout you, especially the things that are important to you and the things you believe in. They’ll know everything from what pizza you like to your core values. Additionally, if you’re in a relationship for a long time and your partner still doesn’t know the things that are important to you, it might be a sign that they’re not invested in the relationship.
However, Bennett recommends not jumping to conclusions in this situation, because they could be the type of person that simply does not remember stuff. But even so, it’s important to talk to them about it, and make sure you let them know how you feel about this situation.
Next, let’s agree to disagree?…..
10. Your partner gets angry when you don’t agree with them.
As previously mentioned, you can’t be on the same age all the time, and that’s ok. However, someone who loves you unconditionally will be interested to listen to you and hear your opinion even when they don’t agree with you.
Also, they’ll continue to love you even when you’re not on the same page. But if your significant other only loves you when you agree with them, they’re actually manipulating you.
According to Joshua Klapow, PhD, clinical psychologist, and host of Kurre and Klapow Radio, if your partner loves you based on certain conditions, that love is not honest nor pure. Besides being a sign of manipulation, it’s also a good indication that your partner is not mature enough for a serious relationship.
Finally, sometimes we can look past things…..
11. Your partner lives in the past.
According to Davida Rappaport, psychic and spiritual counselor, if your partner lives in the past, it’s a sign that they have issues in letting things go. Maybe they cling to past mistakes and keep blaming you for them, or not allow you to change because they like that version of you.
However, someone who loves you unconditionally will let you grow and change, as they’re very important in order to succeed in life. If your significant other can’t do that, it could be a sign that they’re not invested in the relationship, and they only like you if you act a certain way.
Make sure to also check: Relationship Problems That Could Become Worse Over Time, According to Experts.