You’ve been dating a narcissist? These are the common things narcissists do after a breakup.
With their charming personalities in the early months of the relationship, it is very easy to fall in love with a narcissist. They show you their kind and adorable face, a fake one of course to catch you on their web, but after a while (not long), they slowly release their true personality.
If you subscribed to our page, then you probably know we tried to explain this from the psychological point of view many times throughout our articles. In this one, we will talk about how it feels to part ways with a narcissist, and most importantly, what are the things narcissists do after a breakup.
39 Responses
I believe I am involved with a narcissist. I have also been in love with them for 25+yrs. I know that they are a narcissist but I can’t get them out of my heart. We were separated for 2yrs with no contact but I never stopped loving them. I’m pretty sure I’m going to die loving them. I’m 68yrs old.
One issue that is a total brain scramble. You didn’t fall in love with THEM you fell in love with the MASK they created just for you. My ex LOVED dogs but in the end he raised a clenched FIST to my old dying dog to traumatize me. That is the real him. He is off with the new one and now is into Jeeps
You are CHOOSING to waste the last few years of your life. I was married to one for 10 years, ending at age 65 for me, a terrible time to start over, and that’s what I had to do. You may pine after that person, but believe me, that person does not love you….they are incapable of love. I finally found a REAL man, who can show emotions and does not think he is the center of the universe. You can too. It IS a choice.
That is what I am scared of. Starting over at 63yrs old. Because of all the financial manipulation, I have to make a plan to leave and it is going to take a while.
I can relate and thank you for your post😊
A very hard one at that!! Where in God’s earth did you find a loving, caring man?? None here in RI that I know of 😞. I’ve been with a narcissist for 21 years and he has worn me down to pebbles where I was once a rock. With the rents being out of control in RI, he knows I can’t afford to move out…. hence the continued abuse 😢😢
Hi Janet. Same here. 10 yrs. The last five was waiting to get the hell away. Never looked back and I’m happy at 73.
It’s never too late. Just saw a couple online married at the ages of 100 & 102.
How’s that for r love?
I just this year realize I have been married to a narcissist for 37 yrs. I too knowing I bought him in action stays he didn’t nothing wrong. IA narcissist will believes himself and he wil not admit nothing.
Then I must be in love with one now. He won’t admit to anything and everything has to be his way or he pouts like a child.
The label narcissist and sociopath is used too often, maybe your relationship did contain some elements of narcissism, but being able to identify the behavior in another is very important and can be associated with a personality disorder which is probably not curable. I had an experience with a narcissist and I regret staying as long as I did. They never got a chance to destroy me completely.
How many are you talking about? Soundx like there is a lot of them. Just stick to one. He or she. Simple.
Loving “Them?” How many are there?
Stay away from the con. Be free.
Many people die loving someone who separated or passed on. You can handle it. Trust me. I think it will gradually get better with more time. Two years is not really a lot of time. Ten years is.
I think I’m just figuring out Im in love with a narcissist after 10 years and many break ups later and separations and it’s only because that person keeps calling me a narcissist so I started reading up on exactly what a narcissist is and how they act and there it was right in my face a textbook narcissist the whole time and after the last break up I figured out I would love that person till the day I die but that doesn’t mean I have to be with them I deserve to be happy……… Silence does good
I was involved with a narcissist for 4 yrs.. my only true advice….
GET OUT AND DONT LOOK BACK!!
They are evil to the cord! You are only there to make them look good but they can care less about you or your feeling. Never cry in front of them.. if you do, they win. Instead while they are ranting and raving .. fold your arms and look smug!!! They hate that!! And you win!! You’ll see them stomp off like a temper tantrum baby that they are!
PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE.. get out! Don’t look back and Definitely study “Survivors of Narcissist” site! It will shock you because you will see the same controlling stories you are going through!! You are pre ious and don’t think any less of yourself no matter what they say about you. You are stronger than them!
Thank you I really need this advice. Blessings to you and your family.
I married one that led me down A RABBIT HOLE. Beautiful but very Suttle controlling! Was NEVER WRONG for 4 years!
For reason I really don’t know just yet I want to learn more about these type of people..
I’m married to a narcissist for 50 years and I’ve only started to realize who he really is in the last five years. He is extremely critical of everything I do. He calls family members, and his conversation is full of lies, deceit, criticism and backstabbing. He has managed to turn his family and my family totally against me. He has also tried to turn my children and grandchildren against me. Unfortunately, he has turned our youngest son against me, and I can now see the same signs in my son. Question, do you think it would do any good to seek counseling (my husband and I). HELP!
She showed her true colors this week lies on top of lies . Her daughter is an RN and she expects me to welcome her over the phone diagnosis . I ask Google , he or they seem to know everything . I ask for salads with chicken , she serves chicken Alfredo . she wanted a bicycle , she gave it away soon after it arrived . She uses her son-in laws autistic sister for what I call slave labor . The list goes on , but I would like to go to bed . Good Night All .
Well it would be nice to be able to read what the 10 things are! I see a couple sitting on a couch and 1 paragraph after that! Where is the read????? Good grief!
To Maria. You could not have hit the nail on the head better than your comment, they will admit nothing at all no matter how irrefutable, Bizarre and evil people, zero true feelings for anything or anyone except themselves.
I’ve been with him for 20 years and I’m just realizing so much I was so blind for a long time till he start showing his true colors especially when my mom died. He wasn’t there for me and his kids . I was so lost. I couldn’t concentrate for myself for our kids. I’m glad I woke up, but I woke up slowly and quickly and now I ran from him I told him I was moving and leaving him he said right you’re not going nowhere. He said I don’t have no money and he started laughing at me when the time came. He looked like someone threw him a surprise birthday party and me my kids, dog and my vehicle was gone. We have children together and neither one of the children want to talk to I said to the kids you don’t wanna get one of my own father talk to your father since we left March talking to now they still don’t talk to him. I’ve been put on speaker. The kids just walk away and close the door I told him when you don’t born and you’re not looking for your kids. This is what happens you felt that losing in a household together then no one wasn’t going over and people couldn’t think he said he didn’t wanna talk. I said OK bye now he’s miserable and going through his mother to talk to me I told her please don’t get into fear you didn’t live with me. You wasn’t there your son, but we were all miserable and he told me he would never change for me so let him live his life cause I know I’m in mine. I’m so happy kids are happy. I have moved on in my life to a better life. My new chapter.I am on the other side of the world from him. That’s how far away from him remind you this is the place you want us to live. Run without shoes.
I too have been living with a narcissist for 38 years, but the narcissist traits didn’t bloom till she became the big bread winner after she became a Doctor and I had previously retired.
All of sudden, I became less relevant, disrespected among mix company.
I will probably die loving her as well,
My motto is, I didn’t ask for a life of luxury, I had early humble beginnings,
and it would not bother me to live without material things which appear very important to her.
I’ve learned to live this way.
Women are not the only people living with narcissists monsters
They are evil. It’s so hard to believe how they change when their mask falls off, and they get mean and nasty.
I realized that I have to stay away due to disrespect talking to me like I don’t matter when other women are around it’s worse I am ignored or humiliated in front of others the last time I was at his house he blamed me for stealing something which I have never done this whole thing is total confusion
I too was married to such a man for 29 years, but in the end recognizing that the misery was never going to end, feeling totally exhausted with ‘trying to fix things’ & with my 4 kids grown up, and no longer wanting to pretend to the world that ‘all is well’, I took the plunge & told him I was leaving. His first reaction was to tell my kids what a terrible person I was, then went to my brother with a sob story (I didn’t find out about that until many years later !) so my brother was told that I was a terrible woman who could not look after her ‘wonderful’ man ! My brother had always fallen for his charms ! In the end I stood my ground, left (at 50 yrs of age !), moved away & made my own very successful life. Now 84 I have never regretted that decision, and still live in the house I bought 2 years later with my own money after having left him with everything & started out again with nothing !! He managed to collapse his own life, lost the house & is now on his last legs at 89 & altho I still occasionally am in touch with him as the father of my 4 kids, he knows who is the stronger one these days !!!
I was with one for almost 20 years,in those years he was abusing me mentally because left me about 3 times and was coming back and I was accepting him back because I was inlove with him and I was thinking the I couldn’t live without him,he also was treating me like I was a trash cheating on me and then he was saying that it was me doing it,but this time I was the one left him I was so tired of his attitude and more with me and my kids that wasn’t his kids so one day I pick up my clothes and left him with everything and no exclamation;this is going to be 4 years and I feel so much better happy and free I even move to another state
Narcisist are soul sucking people that have no real emotions. Many are also sociopaths which can literally be dangerous. Trump is a textbook narcisist and sociopath and look how he convinced half a nation to believe in him after being a lifelong criminal and tried to overthrow our Democracy. This time he may succeed because they are the greatest con artists of all time. Most, if not all dictators are narcisist sociopaths, Hitler, Miuselini, Napoleon and many seriel killers. It’s terrifying. If, diagnosed as such they should be institutionalized and treated. They commit emmotional assault all the time which can be as traumatic as physical assault. They are a danger to society and, at least, be publically udentified the same way a sexual preditor is, because they are preditors which usually includes sexual predation for control, manipulation and self satisfying torture of the person ir people they abuse.
Narcissism is a character flaw and no one can ever change them because they are self absorbed and think they are perfect and everyone else is flawed. It will take a crisis in their own life for them to change, because change will have to come from their inside. They are very controlling and selfish, but they are suckers for flattery, that’s their weakness. And if you want to control a narcissist, be very generous with your fake flatteries. Treat them with a lot of humor, then they’ll know, you know what they are up to…CONTROL. Resulting in them getting frustrated because they cannot control you. Good luck, & be forgiving.
I have been married to one for 13 years……the most miserable and unhealthy thing I’ve ever done…. I 68 years old and he’s 55. Liar, cheater, theif I fell in love with his mask. After we consummated our relationship he changed into the most nasty, disturbed and nasty person ever. I guess that’s why he successful in law!!!
Out of financial necessity, I am living with my adult son for the past 6 yrs. now. Definitely a
narcissist! All of the above comments I identify with. As a personal trainer, he has all the opportunities to be “Mr. personality” at work. But when he comes home, the scenario changes totally. I am (a very young) 83 and still very active. But mentally I am very stressed out with his daily
demands ie: lower the heat, lower the sound on the tv, shut all the lights in the living room, ad nauseum. He is always right, never apologizes, never acknowledges my efforts (I’m a chef), and is contrary to the limit. I don’t know if there is any hope for me. I keep things in the day & try to be grateful for all that there is. He is in a relatiionship that I don’t think will last.
I’ve been marries 55 yrs . Lots of ups and downs! He has cancer so I’m here still. But I do manage him better than I used to!😄
I have been involved with a narcissist and it seems to be getting worse, he just started saying things to me bout how to control me and told me that I’m going to be the woman that he wants me to be, I don’t change for anyone and I will not change for him cause that’s sure does what he made it sound like, hopefully this time we’re finally done
After 34 years together 27 years of marriage and 2 grown children with my husband I finally went through with the second time I filed for divorce. I still love this man but staying with him was destroying me and our family. Charming through and through and a liar like none other. Good luck and much happiness to others going through this very difficult relationship
Have been in relationships with more than one but once I said it was over they had problems because once I say quits I don’t look back. They have a problem with accepting that a person they picked can really be more secure than they thought, devasting for them.
You have nailed it on the head “J” about the MASK. And, this MASK is what they present to the rest of the world, their closest friends and yes, even to their family. But, when you live with the MASKed narcissist, you eventually see the ‘peeled-off masked’ person and they usually aren’t pretty.
I just read another comment from Maria, dated Dec. 10, about them believing themself and will not admit nothing. Even worse, they will twist anything and everything to be in their favour and lay all blame on you and will never say sorry, because they can do no wrong.
Derron, run and don’t look back, you are wasting your time and energy.
I am in a NARCCISTIC marriage and we have together over 28+ years and I am terrified. We have 4 kids but I found out after marriage over 14+ years that he was not who he say he is we have sold 2 homes. We just purchased a new home and after I have been diagnosed with Lupus, Rheumatoid Arthritis, MS, Graves Disease, and Raynards Diease he has filed a restraining Order to put me out on the streets which he lied to obtain the restraining order and he brain washed my daughters. My son who is now 24 years old is the only one and my youngest who is 14 years old are the only 2 that can see the truth. I stayed in thus marriage because of my kids. However, prior to going to court he and myself put in a motion to dissolve the restraining order because once I knew what he did I filed a restraining order as well, which was 9 pages long. Not to mention my husband is 14 years older than me and he met me when I was 15 years old in May or June. My mother died when I was 17 years of age she never met my husband because at that time he told me he was at keast 4 years older. I have a lot to say but my husband is a Oncologist and he went from ground zero to a six figure paying job. It’s just so many secrets and I found each one of them out seems like every year. Yes, I do love him but the love is not mutual and I refuse to told he was forced to be with me and forced to marry me, and last but not least he never looked for love and he believes out of the 28 years of mental and emotional abuse I never loved him. That was the last straw. About 15 years ago I did cheat on him thinking he would just go but he continues to hold that against me and he use it to break me down. But no more I asked for a divorce and he refused he threatened to ruin my credit if I don’t sell our home. I said I have sold 2 homes and I refuse to do it again and I will take you to court and ask for everything under the sun because all I am asking is for peace and given my medical conditions this added stress has placed me into the hospital more than I can count. I am 43 years old and I have had strokes, seizures, and a heart attack. It hurts bad I can’t even think but what makes matters even worst my 19 and 18 year old daughters helped him. 😪 but it was my son who said mom dad wants you to come back but he said he just want to scare you. But that was the last thing he could do because now I know what he is really capable of. I am a retired Law Enforcement Officer and during Covid-19 I was able to retire in the line of duty with pay for my natural born life and my youngest son is my sole beneficiary and if he is considered disabled he would get paid for entire life. Which I know he qualify because he was premature baby born 2 1/2 months early due to the stress. But he asked me to pay him $250,000 and he will walk away and I said over my died body because I have no more family and I only have my kids because you have alienated me from my entire family not to mention to mention my father just passed away July buried on the 20th but I had my hands in the air because he told the police 3 days later that I committed arson in my home which I paid 80% into with my kids there while he was at work. What do I benefit from doing that 🤔. I am afraid that he will do anything to put me behind bars and given my history of being stalked, raped, and no privacy etc by him. He just know I know to much about him and how corrupt his entire family is but now I don’t care who I put in jail and that includes his mother. I met him he was a citizen of the United States but now he it shows he was born in a foreign country his mother applied for his visa to come here and 2 years later he applied for citizenship which is FRUAD and he went to the same school he attended to be a ASE CERTIFIED MECHANIC and he also got his masters degree from the same school but under a different identification. I don’t understand why would a person go through so much to hide his identification and I have reported him to everyone I know but to no avail no one would listen. 😔 I can’t let him take everything away from me. So if I made any errors but I am pissed!!!