Is it possible to save your marriage?
It’s been a while since the last argument you’ve had with your spouse, but there is still a bit of tension between you two. It’s true that after a certain age or years of marriage, things may get a bit rusty, but as you may know, a healthy and fulfilling relationship requires a lot of commitment from both sides.
If you still believe in you two and you want to save your marriage and help it function more healthily, there are some ways you can do it. You may have had some dark days behind you, but there is always hope for a more positive outcome.
1. Identify the root of your problems
If you care about your partner and want to save your marriage, one of the first things you must do is identify the issues that you have. Once a problem has been identified, it is critical to have a conversation about it and develop strategies to address the issue.
Although a problem for one person may not always be a problem for the other, it’s crucial to view your partner’s concerns as problems for the couple as a whole. To build a plan on how to avoid these obstacles, talk to your spouse, make a list of things that bother each other, and then decide on your goals.
2. Make time to reconnect with your spouse
If your marriage has been together for a while, then the routine is already deeply rooted in it, but that doesn’t mean you can’t fix this issue. You can save your marriage by easily making time for each other. Devote your partner completely for at least 15 to 30 minutes a day.
One way to use the additional time in bed would be to get up a bit earlier and spend it making love, snuggling, and expressing your love for one another. Make time each day to engage in meaningful dialogue with one another and ensure that both your needs are taken into consideration. It may be difficult at first, but perhaps circumstances have changed and your requirements have evolved since last year.
Don’t let routine and the fact that you already know stuff about your partner interfere in your marriage and ultimately lead to divorce. After all, we as human beings grow and evolve from one year to the next.
3. Be open to the idea of changing things up
To save your marriage, you must know what the things are that got you to this point. Maybe it’s the attitude, or maybe you two aren’t talking that much anymore, or you feel like you grew apart. These things can happen even to the most long-lived couples, but that doesn’t mean you can’t change them.
Making a daily commitment to do better at the things you’ve agreed upon with your spouse might have a significant impact over time if you’re working on a particular issue in your relationship. But keep in mind that this applies to both of you! If you are willing to change for the better and save your marriage, then your spouse must do the same. Have a team-oriented mindset!
4. If something bothers you, take the initiative and talk about it
Another proven way to save your marriage is by opening conversation topics and letting them know if there is something that’s bothering you. Don’t wait for your spouse to bring up a topic if you feel like you need to talk about it. Since you and your spouse have equal responsibility for the good of your relationship, you must speak up and take the necessary action.
It might be a bit hard at first, but by doing so, you may also give your partner the confidence to bring up topics that they would want to discuss as well.
5. Compliments are very important, never step aside from making them
There are a lot of people who shy away from giving compliments to their spouses. Some of them believe that if they do that, the other person will take it for granted, while others don’t believe you must compliment your partner after a certain number of years together. This is nothing but a myth!
Even if you are too shy to say it out loud, tell them one thing you love about them. If you didn’t have this habit before, your partner might be surprised or even embarrassed at first. But don’t get discouraged! In the end, you will both be happy to see how nice it is to do this as a habit. It made a lot of people get closer to each other, even when they seemed lost.
6. Be gentle and use kindness even when you have a conflict
Use politeness when confronting or discussing disagreements, and learn to argue fairly when you have differing opinions. Often, the problem lies more in the way it was raised, the tone you’re using when you communicate, the context, and the significance of the statement.
Instead of being passive-aggressive with your partner, try to explain that you’re bothered by that thing and would appreciate it if they’d help you change it. If you want to save your marriage, think about it this way: The words that we speak may affect or trigger old wounds from previous relationships. And while for us it isn’t much of a big deal, maybe for our partner it is. Always be kind and gentle with the person you love!
Couple therapy can be very expensive nowadays. That’s why a lot of us are trying to solve the issues on our own. If you feel like your marriage is slowly breaking apart, you feel discouraged, but you don’t want to lose your spouse. Act immediately. Ask them to take some time and talk about your issues, plans, and what else keeps you together. We know it won’t be easy, but it’ll be worth it!
If you are one of those individuals who wants to fight and save your marriage at all costs but doesn’t have the necessary finances to ask for professional help, then check out this book. How to Save and Improve Your Marriage: Learn to Communicate and Resolve Issues with Your Partner Before It’s Too Late provides an alternative approach that will help you communicate better, even if sometimes it’s hard as a rock. It’s only $8.39 for the Kindle version.
7. Try to understand their love language
This is probably the golden rule for a happy and healthy marriage. The truth is that we are different people, and if you think that a small gesture like a rose is the most romantic thing on Earth, maybe your partner doesn’t see it like that.
If you are not 100% sure of what your spouse wants, talk openly about this. But be mindful and don’t judge their wishes, even if they are a bit farfetched. Remember that you may also have different needs, and it won’t be fair if your spouse starts laughing when you start sharing them.
8. Criticize as rarely as possible (or at all!)
It will never work out if you criticize your partner all the time. After all, nobody enjoys being assaulted, and most of the time even if it is well intended, it can result in unfavorable consequences because the issue wasn’t addressed well. When addressing a problem, always start with “I” statements and express your wants and feelings. Use your words carefully.
9. Don’t wait!
Last but not least, one of the most effective tips on how to save your marriage is to take action as soon as possible and not wait until it’s already too late! Address the issues and look together for suitable solutions. Compromise! Don’t let your marriage end up being just a burden.
If you have serious issues in your marriage and you can’t figure out how to fix them, don’t hesitate to ask for professional help until it’s too late! And if this article about how to save your marriage was helpful you may also be interested in checking this one out too 4 Ways to Identify and Stop Nagging in Your Marriage.