“Why don’t you just calm down?”
Asking someone to calm down is never a good idea. For one, it will have the exact opposite effect. When your partner hears this, they think, ‘I am too much for this person I love, and I can’t share my true emotions with them,'” explains Weigl.
In the long term, it will make the other person build a wall and withdraw behind it, as they will feel neglected and afraid to say what’s on their mind and in their heart.
Instead of telling them to calm down, try to understand what made them feel upset and what you can do about it. This will help you re-establish your connection and bridge the gap between you and your partner, making them feel heard, seen and understood.
“I think it’s best we go our separate ways”
This is something you should never bring up unless you really mean it. If you’re just using it to threaten your partner and manipulate them into doing things your way, stop right now. It’s true that many things can be said in the heat of the argument but bringing up divorce into the equation is never a good idea.
For one you may not mean it, but it’s a message to your partner that they are not wanted anymore. It’s hurtful and disrespectful that you’re not willing to put in more effort into the relationship and into solving the matter at hand. Secondly, your partner might start second-guessing your relationship, and for good reason.
One Response
Sheesh! How to deal with people who have no control over their emotions?? Get them out of your life! How distasteful to deal with petty women who are “all about words” and ignore actions.
Sigh—Another one of your distorted diatribes about small minded females and their low testosterone “men”! REAL men will just “LAY DOWN THE LAW” about bitchy pettiness and demand calm discussions wrought with actual thought processes rather than deal with raw impulsive emotions.
MEN—Think with your big heads and avoid these toxic girls/women at all costs!!
Another bit of free advice to chew on from your favorite sage—Feral Tomm.
You are WELCOME!