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“That’s not something to be upset over.”
Saying this to a person who is trying to open up and talk about their feelings is like punching them straight in the face. How someone reacts and feels to a certain situation is subjective, therefore, you cannot ask someone to have the same opinion as you do. What you’re doing is minimizing their feelings and turning their emotional response into a wrong one.
According to Ashley Weigl, LLMSW, MPH, a couple therapist, it can make your significant other feel alone in the relationship, aggravate their pain, and prolong their discomfort. Instead of discounting your partner’s feelings, try asking them to identify what exactly makes them upset.
“Can you just let this go?”
Certain problems can’t get solved as easily as one would hope. But using such a phrase will definitely not help things move forward. If you want your significant other to let something go, try to understand their problem first. Say something such as “I really want to understand why this is important to you. Can you please help me understand?”.
Weigl says it’s really important that you listen to them for real, not while preparing your counterstrike in your mind. In this way, you can both cooperate efficiently to solve the issue and move forward instead of fighting about it again.
You might also like to read: 8 Subtle Relationship Issues That Will Lead to Catastrophe
One Response
Sheesh! How to deal with people who have no control over their emotions?? Get them out of your life! How distasteful to deal with petty women who are “all about words” and ignore actions.
Sigh—Another one of your distorted diatribes about small minded females and their low testosterone “men”! REAL men will just “LAY DOWN THE LAW” about bitchy pettiness and demand calm discussions wrought with actual thought processes rather than deal with raw impulsive emotions.
MEN—Think with your big heads and avoid these toxic girls/women at all costs!!
Another bit of free advice to chew on from your favorite sage—Feral Tomm.
You are WELCOME!