“Come on, this again?”
The automatic answer to such a statement is “Yes, this again.” It automatically causes the other person to become resentful and on the defensive. If your discussion takes this course, then, you can be sure that nothing good will come out if it.
“This question shows that the person who said it does not want to engage in the conversation and doesn’t think that it’s worth discussing as it has been discussed previously,” explains Natasha Deen, LCPC, NCC, a therapist at Golden Hour Counseling.
This can feel hurtful to someone who wants to take a weight off their shoulders. It can also be seen by the hurt partner as a game of power, and feel inferior for having to give an explanation every time they want to have a discussion.
“I’m sorry you feel that way.”
This is just another way to blame the other person for the predicament you’re both in. If your apology is followed by something like ‘I’m sorry you feel that way’, it means you don’t take responsibility and accountability for what you said that caused them pain.
According to Brianna Morgis, PhD, LMFT, assistant professor of counseling psychology at Delaware Valley University, what you’re doing instead is making them feel like it’s their fault for the way they feel and their responsibility to correct the situation.
Morgis recommends rephrasing it as “I’m sorry that I said/did something to upset you.” It will work much better.
One Response
Sheesh! How to deal with people who have no control over their emotions?? Get them out of your life! How distasteful to deal with petty women who are “all about words” and ignore actions.
Sigh—Another one of your distorted diatribes about small minded females and their low testosterone “men”! REAL men will just “LAY DOWN THE LAW” about bitchy pettiness and demand calm discussions wrought with actual thought processes rather than deal with raw impulsive emotions.
MEN—Think with your big heads and avoid these toxic girls/women at all costs!!
Another bit of free advice to chew on from your favorite sage—Feral Tomm.
You are WELCOME!