3. Love is always conditional
Healthy love coming from a parent is a constant source of encouragement and support. It’s a thing we’ve all heard: parents love their children unconditionally. But the relationship between you and your mother is different. This unconditional love everybody is talking about seems to not be present.
It is not uncommon for a narcissistic mother to be hot and cold with her child. Sometimes she is the most loving person in the universe, and then she is distant and completely ice cold. This can be incredibly confusing for a child, and she might treat you like this even into your adult years.
This “shifting sands love” is not healthy and has disastrous consequences. The constant uncertainty about the love of your narcissistic mother can cause various emotional issues that can haunt you even later in life. You might even internalize the blame and feel like you surely did something wrong, and this behavior is normal in this case.
But it’s not and will never be. You should consider getting professional help if you find it hard to do this on your own, and stop searching for reassurance from your mother. She is not there to validate your feelings, and in some cases, she even makes you feel worse.
Rely on those around you who offer you unconditional support. Mention healthy relationships with them and go forward with your journey.
