4. They live for the drama
Occasional disagreements are not a big deal, and all families experience them once in a while. During more tense moments, disagreements and arguments can take place more often, but once this period of hardship has passed, things go back to normal.
But this is not the case when you have a narcissistic mother. These mothers make conflict the centerpiece of their lives, and they always want to be the center of attention. If you have a narcissistic mother, you are familiar with this pattern, and you know what we’re talking about.
Each minor misunderstanding turns into a full-blown drama, and this is why you don’t like going home that often. But why do they do that? Therapists explain that they need the emotional intensity drama creates. During these arguments, they can take control and manipulate the situation to their advantage. They are always portraying them as victims, and many times this works, drawing sympathy while at the same time deflecting any accountability for their actions.
7 Responses
I actually didn’t know that being a narcissist was a thing until the last 10 months when things just would not add up and I didn’t understand it although I’m 58 years old, it still is bewildering to me
Sadly these are all traits I experience from my daughter. I genuinely read this to see if I was guilty of being a narcissistic mother but these are the things I experience with my two oldest. They still feel I should be paying for them or somehow bail them out of situations from Poe choices, and I find myself always apologizing for things I know I didn’t even do just to appease and keep one of of these two’s outbursts of anger and insult at a minimum, just to keep the piece. It’s exhausting to say the least, disruptive and draining. I have finally learned to set boundaries. It took me a long time to realize that no matter what I did for these girls that I would always be their scapegoat for anything that goes wrong in their lives.
So tired of article beating up on parents. Parenting is not easy especially when the child has adhd, drug problems. Some more articles on HOW IMPORTANT FAMILY is HOW LUCKY YOU ARE IF YOUR PARENTS ARE ALIVE. How relationships take two and sometimes your behavior causes reactions. How are articles praising the parents that stick with the child thru drug addiction. HOw about articles if you are successful your parents did something right.
Drugs do not create narcissistic disorder. However too often it’s the parents who unknowingly create narcissism in children. You as a parent, might not have these characteristics. But you can certainly help to turn a child into one by under indulgence or over indulgence. How do I know? I stare at these faces every single day in my life and feel powerless to do anything.
I was a child when I witnessed extreme cruelty, physical abuse and absence of love and guidance being given to one specific child throughout his childhood until the day he left my family at the age of 17. He went to jail for shooting at someone and missed his head by an inch. Got out of jail and turned his life around by working and putting himself through school without anyone’s help. He became a hi-tech engineer then subsequently a manger.
He had a very successful career and retired at the age of 55. Awesome you’d think? Not so fast! He IS the most selfish, cold, calculated, entitled, jealous, easy to triggered, controlling SOB I know. He is my brother and I love and care about him. But I pay real close attention to him when we’re close. I cannot trust him. It’s so so sad. A life is wasted when you never learned how to be honest or love another soul beside yourself.
On the other hand, my parents made sure all of us females are subservient, low self esteem and become great targets for these narcissistic individuals.
So, you don’t have to be a narcissist to raise another one but you can sure as hell help to create a few of them.
My mother was very kind to other people & sometimes to me but she would say “Your Daddy does not think you are pretty because you do not look like ME. Then later “I love your brother more than I do you but your Daddy loves you best”. What on Earth? And she had felt belittled by her own mother so WHY WOULD SHE DO THAT?
I’m just curious and want to learn more!
Every word describes my mother exactly. It blows my mind how someone cannot see the way they’re treating people. So many different things going on and no accountability they see nothing wrong with them. It’s just frustrating when you can’t get through to somebody like this and they don’t want to get help. She started acting like this years ago, she didn’t do it when I was little. But each day it gets worse and worse and more consistent.