9 Alarming Signs You Have Narcissistic Abuse Syndrome

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Narcissistic abuse is probably one of the worst types of abuse…

Narcissistic personality disorder is probably one of the most complex mental health conditions, but it is usually pretty easy to identify. People who suffer from it are usually manipulative and controlling, and sometimes this can turn very badly into verbal and emotional abuse. Although it’s usually easier to identify this behavior from the outside of the relationship, for a person who is directly connected to the abuser, it might be difficult.

Believe it or not, narcissists tend to hide it very well, especially in the first months of the relationship. They will make you feel wanted, loved, and understood, and only after a while will you notice a sudden change in their attitude.

If you’ve been in a relationship with a narcissist, then you’re already aware of the signs, but if not, in this article, we will round up the alarming signs you’ve been emotionally abused for a while now, but you might not realize it yet. Be aware since this might be a sensitive topic!

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70 Responses

    1. The N.D.P. you refer to is a political party in Canada: the New Democratic Party. They for sure are abusers of the Canadian public along with their leader Jagmeet Singh.

  1. NOOOOO—DANG! Here we go AGAIN–the dastardly “r” word. Trouble waiting for you when you have the mindset of “relationship”—creating a THING from the way people treat each other! SAD & SICK.

    Zounds! You Spiritless heathens are such guilt ridden, masochistic, tortured souls. Forget the “relationship” dung mindset. Just don’t stand for anybody treating you in such a sordid manner!

    Why not break out of this slimy ego based living, ditch the demoniacs, and live in your Creator’s world? “Huh? Whaaa?” you say??

    Look—God wants you to live in a joy based world. He stocked this world with butterflies to provide us visual delight—countless species of birds to provide us with audio delight—and carpeted the world with flowers to delight us with olfactory sensations—JUST TO SCRATCH THE SURFACE!!

    But here YOU are wallowing in the beast’s world of misery and suffering with his ugly industrial blight, blasting you endlessly with obnoxious propaganda and screeching industrial racket, and burning your nose with the stench of noxious fumes and fetid odors.

    You are making this choice! You need to ground with the Earth—walk barefoot on the beach for example. THAT makes everybody feel the comfort of this garden our Creator provides for us to enjoy. But the beast is plundering and vandalizing and looting and trashing this garden–and USING YOU to enable it!

    Ohhh what to do, what to do? HERE!—For a starter—humble yourself and repeat this request daily and nightly—“Oh Heavenly Creator, in the name of our loving Savior, Jesus Christ, I BEG OF YOU— Please shield me from the wickedness and evil that now envelopes me (Including but not limited to)—
    * Predators
    * Parasites
    * Propagandists
    * Opportunists
    * Greedsters
    * >>>MANIPULATORS<<<
    * Drug Crazed
    * Criminally Insane
    * Miscreants
    * Sex Maniacs
    * Sundry Other Varieties of Demoniacs
    AMEN!!"

    This timely free gift— compliments of your favorite Sage, Feral Tomm. YOU ARE WELCOME!!

    1. They say extreme religious rantings are also a mental disorder. You can learn to find your way to reality. Consult a professional and soon.

    2. Don’t forget “Please forgive my own dark thoughts and actions. Please forgive the sufferings I caused YOU and others with the choices I’ve made.”

    3. Amen Feral Tomm! I want to scream this from the mountain tops. So many families I know, including mine, are fractured because the younger generation is believing the lies of Satan. Christian people cutting off other believers. The Lords heart must be so sad.

      1. My first born daughter 47 years old gave me the gift that keeps on giving for Christmas. She told me on Christmas Eve that I was a terrible mother that I was toxic and she wanted nothing to do with me as well as my granddaughter is not to have anything to do with me that was my Christmas gift , the torment that I have been living with is been helped tremendously with support from other narcissistic abuse survivors as well as God’s arms around me telling me everything is going to be okay I’m believer in karma and I think that my daughter will experience that and I pray that she survives it but I don’t think she has the tools the only tools she has are weapons intended to destroy unfortunately 😞 one day at a time for me and “music washes away from the soul of the dust of everyday life”. That is my keyboard and my voice lifting up to praise God ,,🙏🩷

    4. Verbose, very. But little said. If you can conquer this, good for you. But for some, it’s not so easy. You pray for continued guidance, others will pray for deliverance. It’s just where you’re at you in the moment. Judge less…

  2. I’m currently in a very toxic and mentally abusive relationship. This man is a very big narcissistic ass. He is very down grading and just has me at my witts end. And these people make it very hard to get away. He has made sure the only transportation I have is his vehicle. He has let utilities get shut off so that I would have to struggle to find ways to turn them back on. All this time he spends 200-300 a week on food for a wrestling place down the street. They sell the food and keep the money. He has done this for months. He screams and yells constantly when communicating with me. My friends and family do not come around because they can’t stand the way he talks down to me all the time. The list goes on and on and on. It’s a horrible way to live.

    1. Connie you dont have to live this way. I lived with a narcist for 27 years and finally divorced him. Everything was about him. I was not a person with him. He did not communicate and when he did it was anger and he threw things across the room. I think he put arsenic on my food and when he made meals for me I was so sick.afterwards. I am so happy now that I’m vindicated away from him. I am alive and free as I cut off all the ties from him and his kind!!!

      1. I, too, married a narcissistic man. Shortly after we married, an argument ensued one night (one of many) and while I was in the kitchen, he grabbed me by the throat – and this is shortly after we were married! – and I was shocked that he became so physical. I’d never seen that side of him but then again, we were in a relationship and sometimes the devil rears its ugly head “after the fact”
        Unfortunately, the mental abuse was almost worse than the physical. He would tell me I only had a high school diploma (he went to college) which infuriated my brother when he heard what my ex said and that he was always putting me down. My brother had a great comeback when he said to my ex, “Its just a piece of paper.” After 5 years of taking this crap from him I had had enough and decided to put my plan together to remove myself from such a toxic individual. Every Sunday morning I would scour the paper for apartment rentals while he was still sleeping. Long story short, I met a very nice guy from work. We became good friends and talked about my situation often and he helped me realize that i was worthy of being treated as an equal and no longer a prisoner of his abuse. I had divorce papers drawn up, he was served and the divorce was granted and I left him before he could do any more damage to my self worth. It’s the best thing I ever did. I still carry the scars and flashbacks are often but I am safe and he can never hurt me again! That, in itself, is enough to help calm my anxiety. Thank God for giving.me the strength to go through with it. My prayers were answered. I am so happy and can breathe again and am no longer fearful. I am in control of my future and my fate and life is good. They say that angels walk amongst us – well, I believe Lucifer has his forces out too. I know this because I married one!

        1. Your story sounds very similar to mine. I was very touched by your story and how you are attempting to survive this narcissistic abuser but we have to remember the narcissist will pay. The karma train is coming and they won’t know what hit them praying for you Lynn and your recovery God bless. As you move on from your journey The healing begins one day at a time as the Christy Lane lyrics tell us. 🙏Marti🤍

    2. Run away, as fast as you can, don’t spend another precious minute of life with such a demonic life zapper! Take it from me, a lady who spend many years with one of these narcissistic parasites! I didnt even know there was a thing called Narcissistic Abuse until a few years ago, it’s a thing, a very real thing! Run now!!!

    3. Spent 9 years in a relationship like this only my man was an alcoholic. When you finally get away stay away every time I went back it was worse for me and my son. Sending prayers your way.

    4. Easier said than done…. BUT like everyone here says…. The solution is simple to the outsiders eyes.
      YOU LEAVE that relationship, and you leave it for good. No matter how emotionally, psychologically, or financially constrained someone has you; you are still THE ONLY one who owns your life.
      Nobody “owns” you or your children.
      The problem is these people have learned to prey on their victims and slowly wear you down (to make themselves feel indispensable to you).
      You leave and you leave for good.
      In the end its going to happen anyways, only to realize you could have saved yourself years of agony and pain.

      Yo

    5. Do you have a job? Do you live in Louisiana. If so what part? Do you have children ? You have to gradually put a bag of this like underwear at least two changes of clothes away where he can’t or want find it. Make up in your mind you are going to leave n never look back . Turn off the location on your phone. I’ll come get you n take you to file a police report. I have three extra bed rooms until you get on your feet. Praying for you.

    6. You need to get away somehow if you cannot do it immediately you need to slowly build a way – get a get away bag – hide away some emergency cash, snacks – several confuratvje clothes that are way to pack – weekend essentials and if you cannot get a rental car get an Uber or a friend … what state are you in ? Please update worried about you

  3. I was married to a narc for a long time. I wish this information was available back then. I was actually an enabler until I realized what was happening. I always thought it was my fault, and I could do nothing right. A friend of mine asked me because I am a strong woman how could I have let it happen, My response? If someone told you your hair was purple for 20 years, you would believe it. Divorcing this man was the best thing I have ever done in my life. Yes, I wasted many years under his abusive control (and again I always thought it was my fault that I couldn’t be perfect, couldn’t be the person he wanted) but that is the past and I look to the present and future.

    1. Good for you Freedomland!! I applaud you as you made a great decision to leave the abuser.
      I too was like you and now I’m liberated to living a happy and fulfilling life. I have met a most wonderful man who is like an angel from heaven unlike the narcistic abuser I was married to!

  4. Trump is the perfect example of a narcissist!!
    Trump is doing everything that a narcissist does!
    People who want this narcissist for President are BRAIN WASHED AND UNEDUCATED!
    BAREFOOT AND PREGNANT THESE PEOPLE ARE WEAK AND APPARENTLY DO NOT KNOWRIGHT FROM WRONG!

    1. Projection of your fears blaming Trump?
      Trump is the best hope to set this ship USA aright. My prayer is your eyes will be opened.

      1. Trump might not make a good friend, but he made a great president! Praying he wins this 3rd time and gets this country back on track.

      2. Kevin, it figures SOMEONE would have to go there. Sad and hilarious. TDS should be listed as a toxic sickness. That moron you replied to just proved it.

      3. Trump DEFINITELY seems to be a narcissistic abuser! He shows this at every rally, every interview, and in the criminal acts he has displayed.

    2. …and you HAVE to be mentally ill to opt for liar and lifelong criminal Joe Biden/Barack Obama who are destroying our country right before our very eyes. Take your head out of your rectum and grow a brain. They are pitting every race against each other and some day very soon, the evil immigrants will come for us, just as they did Israel and chop off our heads. I guess YOU are part of the problem so go ahead and move yourself to Iran or China! Stupid!

    3. RUTHIIE YOU ARE SO SO WRONG. PRESIDEN. T TRUMP HAS THE BIGGEST HEART OF ANY ONE I KNOW way back before politics. so many many good he did take the time to read about it

    4. very true- why can’t they see what Trump is doing to out country. He wants to be our dictator for ever. WE may be in grave danger.

    5. You need help ! You bring TRUMP in this conversation? Really? You have issues for sure. I guess you’re the NARCISSIST! TRUMP 2024!🇺🇸🇺🇸🙏

    6. I pray for you however I don’t agree with your characterization of trump. Our politics do not match. But I believe that Donald Trump is doing everything he can with everything that was cast at him from all sides everyone has an arrow in their quiver directed straightly and him and he has completely survived I don’t like some of what he says but I think he’s the only one that can save our country sometimes a bit of narcissism is what it takes to be a president any of the great presidents were narcissists do some researching. Bless you and your journey and I pray God directs you to make the decision that will help our country when you vote in November 🇺🇲🇺🇲🇺🇲

    7. Ruthe Mary Dusette Sounds like a narcissist who is calling people names because they don’t agree with her. Typical controlling behavior.

  5. Your site leave me asking a lot more questions regarding my own life, this one especially. I have believed for a long time that my spouse is a narcissist. Your comments regarding symptoms of mental abuse caught my eye. I have been a diabetic for 63 years and am currently in “End stage renal failure. I am making necessary arrangements for the “end” but some of the things I am experiencing are telling me that there might be more to it. My symptoms – I can barely get out of bed anymore due to fatigue and weakness, my equilibrium is totally off and cannot walk anywhere without help, no appetite, depression and anxiety, nausea, among other things. Obviously, life has not been fun!!! I am in counseling.

    1. So sorry you are going through so much! I know what it is like living with a narcissist and in the relationship for 9 years. I worked hard to find a way to move out of the house we lived in. At the time I was still working which was a Godsend. My point is making the best of your time left to taking care of you no matter how small. Focus on yourself and never hesitate to ask for help. If you have a network of friends or family and therapy then you can plan some little things you enjoy to bring some happiness. Prayers for you and blessings.

  6. I can’t believe you let someone name call someone else. They must be one also. They are not judge of others. God is our judge.

    1. What are you talking about? A narcissist will call you names, beat on you, choke you, take everything you value and destroy it

      1. People who aren’t narcissists name call and choke the life out of you and attempt to gaslight you into the grave I don’t see your point here everyone who is evil and wants to annihilate take the label off and you still have an evil person the narcissistic is just an excuse to judge and we are not to judge lest we be judged

  7. I, too believe I am in the situation of a narcissist in my home. He wanted a relationship with me at first but now he just wants to be friends and continue staying in my home as a roommate. He said he could love me but not in the way I want him but then has the audacity to think he should still get the fringe benefits of having a relationship, and yes the sex part too. I call B.S. He tries to manipulate me into believing and doing what he wants me to do. Guess what!! I finally saw the light!! I am removing him from my home today!!
    Have expressed my feelings and putting my foot down!! I answer to God and myself, not him. I will gain back my life of peacefulness and freedom today!! I can be free of this way of life and make it better for me.

  8. I’ve Just removed a narcissistic person from my life after a year of waiting my
    time with lies and deception. I think that a lot of people need to know about these type of individuals. They come to Steel, Kill and destroy lives, they have demonic spirits. unable to realize their own faults, blinded by arrogance and ignorance. The real truth is low self esteem, due to being molested or put down
    as a child in addition to not being in touch with reality . So I thank every person
    Who expressed themselves on this platform. This is not judging, It’s helping people who find themselves in this situation. It’s giving people hope to know their NOT ALONE. And that you can over come, Also know that it’s Not
    your fault. The Lord says that You ARE BEAUTIFULLY, Wonderfully and MARVELOUSLY, MADE WHOLE…..In Jesus Name…AMEN
    things especially women who, tend to fall victim to these type of predators

  9. My kids and I are dealing with being separated from each other and they are threatened daily by their dad to be taken to someone else and never see each other again, it’s been done 7 yrs ago their 1/2 brother was sent away outside of the state. The bio mother had shared custody but he had primary, she had nothing to say when the judge allowed it. The abuse emotional and mental are real and for 2 kids that are autistic and another who shows the signs of abuse when loud noises, but his dad has an excuse and everyone buys it. We are scared and terrified but the cops don’t care they are my ex husbands friends, co workers and turn a blind eye. Even the Sheriff turns his head . It’s no joke.

  10. I certainly don’t know what to do. I have a pretty much new (2 yr) neighbor that has gone after my two son’s that are mentally disabled. My bio son is high spectrum autistic, my adopted son whom I adopted 13 yrs ago is also on the spectrum but at the lower end. 46 & almost 45 respectively. The nicest guys you’d want to meet.
    This women wanted to drag my son into some drama & I said no. Let me tell you the game was on. My bio son has no more friends around here, he would have & has helped anyone that needed it. We live in the villages, so it’s all old people as myself. I did write her a letter telling in no uncertain terms are my families names to come out of her mouth, Now she’s going around with a pack of papers upside down telling people she’s going to sue me. DO IT! She’s violated these boys freedom, defamed their characters to the point my son wants to move. My daughter will be moving here when I die. But till then I’m dealing with Lupus. I’m in the 5th stage of 6. I don’t want to live the rest of my life fighting this person. What do I do? Wish my dcd police husband was here he’d take care of it.

    1. I am male and the woman I was with for almost two years. It was awful. She is married, but married for convenience to get benefits so Shei lives with her husband, but they sleep in separate rooms and she would come down and see me maybe 12 days a week and if I try to go anywhere, she would yell at me and Sam after other women I was married 33 years and my wife passed away three years ago this woman cussed at me yelled at me, hit me made it, so I went anywhere when she was at home at her home, I couldn’t go anywhere she would accuse me of being with women and then she hangs out with her ex-boyfriend used to beat her. I lost five people in my family in a two-year period and it happens so fast that I never had time to grief and she wouldn’t let me grief when I finally got rid of her a few months ago said it’s time to grieve. She was so rotten to me and I never saw it all my friends family everybody even her friends tried to give me away from her , but now she’s posting everywhere that I’m a narcissist she’s never had good relationship is always everybody else’s fault and reading this article hit a lot of pain points with me makes me sad. How could somebody hate me for a year and a half and try to ruin me the same time , she probably got about $1000 from me and she really thinks she’s done no wrong. I’m leaving a lot out but one of the things that she did too she always did everything by text. She would never voice to voice or face-to-face and she would call me names, and then ghost she was on drugs. She drank vodka, 24 seven and it made me mad, but she knew that she knew what buttons to push and I’m one of the nicest people ever. I have so many friends she has none but yet it’s my fault and she’s posting everywhere that I’m a narcissist. It really hurts my feelings. It was part of it to talk about it , I’ll never have answers of why somebody could do that to another person and then blame you for it. Crazy.

  11. After living with a narcist and his narcistic family I divorced him. It was like coming out of prison into freedom, happiness and a new life.
    I can tell you it’s the best thing I’ve ever done for myself. I no longer suffer from the constant abuse and I majored in Masters in marriage and family therapy to understand the dynamics of how narcist and other mental health diagnoses come into play with people that are Narcists.

  12. I have a disabled son .. I believe he has N.P.D. With a long list of mental disorders .He is very manipulating and controling .. The verble abuse and emotional abuse . Very down grading and of everything is my fault ..Screams and yell at me constantly . Seem like I can’t do anything right . If He treats me like he owns me . Let alone all the things he has destroys ..If he don’t get his way ..There is hell to pay ..I an getting afraid of him sometimes. I really don’t know what to do ..He can’t read or write . Know no value of money ..He could’nt live on his own .. What am I to do .. He has’nt always been this was .. I know I am a disabler .. I make excuse for him all the time .. Help Me I really don’t know what to do ! ! .. I love him very much .. My last child . He hates his sister .. And known to be violent at times .. He takes meds for a list of mental issues ..But nothing helps ..

  13. I lived in a year long relationship with a woman so manipulative and abusive to the point even if I did right and went above, I always did something wrong or it wasn’t enough. I cared for Jan 2023 with her two teenage daughters financially for 6 months all by myself. Now I see myself getting threatened with police to move out every time we argued. I finally decided to move out this week because the night I wanted to speak with her she slept with another man. A woman of 45 kept telling me “that I wanst man enough” well we’ll find out this month when she has to pay her rent and bills after quitting the same place where we worked at over our breakup. Talk about being mature…

  14. My narcissist has COPD and says he has nowhere to go. I pay most of the bills including food and mortgage, etc. He gets a pension and buys cigarettes and car stuff. I paid $8000.00
    for repairs for his older BMW. For years he has treated me like a roommate/housekeeper. I feel guilty because he is sick and has nowhere to go. I’m miserable just doing housework and cooking for him. He doesn’t talk to me anymore and is addicted to tv. I feel so alone and unloved

  15. If you do what GOD tells you to do, you should have no problems with NARCISSISM. Go to the Book of: ROMANS CHAPTER 16: 17…18 And you will know what God tells you to do. The HOLY BIBLE IS THE USER MANUAL OF THE UNIVERSE. If you Love God Sincerely with all of your Heart, You will become the Temple in which His Holy Spirit DWELLS PERMANENTLY. The church is a House where His Beloved Children can gether together to praise Him. But, His Holy Spirit Dwells in your Heart with every breath that you take if You are WORTHY OF IT. Meaning: without ANY KIND OF MALICE, HATREDS, HYPOCRISY ETC..ETC.. PROVERBS : 6 : 16….19. The HOLY SPIRIT OF GOD DOES Not LIVE in a Building that is being so Often VANDALIZED BY THE K.K.Ks. If you are BLESSED LIKE ABRAHAM GOD’S SPIRIT will always be in your Heart. But if you are CURSED. God has nothing to do with you. JESUS HIMSELF IS NOT THERE TO SAVE MURDERERS, RAPISTS, THIEVES, LIARS ETC.. ETC… AND THERE IS NO SUCH THING AS PURGATORY. It is EITHER YOU ARE BLESSED BY GOD ALMIGHTY OR CURSED BY GOD ALMIGHTY. The CURSED IMPOSED BY GOD UPON ADAM AND EVE WILL REMAIN FOR ETERNITY. In fact: IF ANYONE OF THOSE CURSES IS ATTRIBUTED TO YOU FROM THE HOLY BIBLE WHICH IS THE USER MANUAL OF THE WORLD, YOU ARE UNDER THE SAME CURSES. “ YOU WILL WORK VERY HARD ALL OF YOUR LIFE AND NEVER PROSPER, YOU WILL HAVE NOTHING TO SHOW FOR . YOU WILL SUFFER FROM ALL KINDS OF DISEASES AND DIE FROM THEM. EVE WILL SUFFER DURING CHILD’S BIRTH AND MAN WILL NO LONGER LIVE FOR EVER. MAN WILL DIE FROM NOW ON. FROM GENERATIONS TO GENERATIONS”. DON’ T LET ANY CROOK TELL YOU OTHERWISE! THOSE CURSES ARE HERE TO REMAIN FOREVERMORE AND THE BLESSINGS ARE HERE TO REMAIN FOREVERMORE AS WELL. SPIRITUALLY, ONE CAN BE BLESSED FROM GENERATIONS TO GENERATIONS OR CURSED FROM GENERATIONS TO GENERATIONS. MATERIALLY, IT IS THE SAME WAY. ONE CAN EITHER BE RICH OR POOR. THE SO CALLED : “ MIDDLE CLASS “ IS NOTHING MORE THAN PAID SLAVERY. WITH A SALARY THAT GOES RIGHT BACK TO THE RICH WHO HAVE INVESTED THEIR MONIES TO CREATE LOTS OF JOBS BY HIRING THE MIDDLE CLASS TO RUN THEM SO THAT THEY CAN INCREASE THEIR PROFITS AND WEALTH. WHILE THEIR EMPLOYEES ARE LIVING PAYCHECKS TO PAYCHECKS. THIS SHOULD BE CALLED: PAID SLAVERY. NO ONE CAN SAY THEY ARE WORKING FOR NOTHING. BUT IN REALITY, THEY GET PAID JUST ENOUGH MONEY TO PAY THEIR BILLS, FEED THEIR FAMILY AND PAY THEIR TAXES. FORGET ABOUT SAVING ANYTHING FOR A RAINY DAY. Umm!! SO GOES LIFE …. C’EST LA VIE……….ASI VA LA VIDA….. SE KONSA LA VIE A YÉ !!!

  16. A perfect example of a narcissist abuser is the Canadian Prime Minister of Canada Jackal Trudeau. He is a smiley face deceiver who made up laws by his Liberal Party despots to abuse Canadian citizens for his pleasure. For example he got away with two corruption scandal in the SNC-Lavalin Scandal and the WE charity scandal. Also He authorized forced euthanasia by C-7 and would put people in jail with severe fines by his C-63 Internet censorship policy. Also This narcissistic abuser passed Carbon Taxes to impose inflation upon the people. He also enforced two years ago the Emergency Act to quell protests against forced vaccinations. This abuser has persecuted several people for organizing these protests, He also authorized persecuting of Pastors in Canada and abolished freedom of religion and ordered other pogroms upon everyone else by the RCMP. He also abolished Canada’s Charter of Rights after 40 years. Such a man and his administration are a bunch of pathological narcistic abusers of a whole society and nations.

  17. I just finally got out of a relationship that lasted 7 years on and off and believe me my was a narcissist she kept me away from friends always making excuses that they were staring trouble and so on she blamed me for everything cheating while she was the one she finally stole a 3,000 dollar engagement ring and 3,000 out of my checking account and that was the final draw for me

  18. I’m in a relationship with a narc who tells me that I am also a narc. He constantly talks down to me saying that …. I’m crazy just like my mother, too bad I didn’t learn how to clean like her though; that I’m stupid; because I don’t trust him that it is me projecting that I am not to be trusted; he’s tired of doing me favors when I ask him to pick up one of the kids; that it’s my job to clean the house and take care of everything because I’m the woman (I work full time and have a college degree); the list goes one. I filed for divorce and am stuck in the house because he’s forcing me to pay the mortgage but yelling at to get out (then when I say I don’t have the money he says that’s my own fault and that I should have been saving money BUT when I try to put money aside he accuses me of stealing money.

    HOW CAN I GET OUT??? I am literally about to just jump off a bridge so that I can just be free. I know that sounds terrible because I have kids but he has the kids thinking that I am dumb and a piece of crap and they have no respect for me.

    I hate my life and feel so trapped.

  19. Agreed there are a lot of macho & femo narcissist out there.
    Yes, Jesus is our cure.
    Most ministers are not good at marriage counseling. Finding a christian counselor to walk with you through your history of crap treatment can be very healing.
    Big problem is that most mental councel is anti god and therefore not having the whole picture. They can see the problems by analysis but without our creators spirit to fill in the big spiritual blanks, we end up with half assed councel.

  20. I have an older brother that is narcissi, he has always been controlling to anyone close to him, including male or female friends. It is always been about him and he could care less about anyone else including his siblings, his children and grand children, he has been married five times and hasn’t figured out why his wives keep running away from him. He would deny truth his past wives concerns they would expressed to him. It is sad that he thinks he has always been right and others are always wrong when they would try to patiently express to him where he was wrong in his way of thinking. It seems Trouble follows him everywhere he goes and everything he does. He has never got along peacefully with most people he comes in contact with. All his 79 years of life is like damnation on him and unable to understand who he is. I pray that God will open his mind and give him the ability of understanding a normal state of thinking.

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