Narcissistic abuse is probably one of the worst types of abuse…
Narcissistic personality disorder is probably one of the most complex mental health conditions, but it is usually pretty easy to identify. People who suffer from it are usually manipulative and controlling, and sometimes this can turn very badly into verbal and emotional abuse. Although it’s usually easier to identify this behavior from the outside of the relationship, for a person who is directly connected to the abuser, it might be difficult.
Believe it or not, narcissists tend to hide it very well, especially in the first months of the relationship. They will make you feel wanted, loved, and understood, and only after a while will you notice a sudden change in their attitude.
If you’ve been in a relationship with a narcissist, then you’re already aware of the signs, but if not, in this article, we will round up the alarming signs you’ve been emotionally abused for a while now, but you might not realize it yet. Be aware since this might be a sensitive topic!
252 Responses
There is a great need especially in N.P.D. thanks.
why have a picture of a POC under the title of “guilt”? de din du nuffin, guilt is only for White Folk. Everyone else goes straight to heaven……. right? Yes, I am named after the Timothy in the Bible
Guilt does not recognize color.
remember that.
WTF dude?
Huh?
Sounds like you are just judging people by their skin. Not at all like a saint. Shame on you for continuing to divide the races.
I agree. This should not be about race. This mental illness effects all of us.
Think I’m a nacersist
Jesus Christ died on the cross for EVERYONE. whosoever believes that He was born of a virgin, He died, arose in 3 days and repent of their sins and accept Jesus Christ as their Lord and Savior CAN BE SAVED AND GO TO HEAVEN.
only if you actually believe that myth.
I believe Jesus is the same yesterday,today,and forever, some things change but, not JESUS
You are proof positive that people are getting dumber by the minute.
You’re joking I’m sure.
WOW! feeling a bit persecuted and overly sensitive? These are very personal behaviors discussed here — behaviors common to sufferers of NPD no matter what color skin they happen to be in. Put aside your cultural biases.
Yes!! Thank You!! This is very Real!! I had been enduring this for many years, before I knew what it was. One day, I turned my computer on, and there it was……. an article about narcissistic behavior!! I was elated to be able to put a name on it!! When you’re trying to explain the behavior, it doesn’t sound as bad as it is! At times, I thought I was on the verge of a nervous breakdown! I had been married to this guy for over 20 years, plus dated, before that for over 4 years, and he didn’t act like that, then. But, when it started, it seemed to get progressively worse. Then I filed for divorce. A little over a year later, I got involved with a former classmate, who was a Christian! We had a long distance (not too far away) relationship, for 3 years. He was great!! We decided to get married, and I moved in with him. Before the year ended, I started seeing, everything he had promised me, about our life together, was not true! After 4 1/2 years, I’m moving to my own place. If I had been able to afford it, I would’ve been gone a long time ago!! To look back, I’ve realized, I went from 1 narcissist to another!! When I now think of what kind of person I used to be, I wonder if I’ll ever get back to ME! Are these symptoms, the same as people with PTSD suffer with??
My 39yr old son was in a relationship for 8 years before he woke up and realized how narcissistic his fiancé and her mother were,he moved back home eventually lost his job,got left with $30,000 in debt cause her credit was shit,and also the two guys she was with before him both committed suicide,he lives with me and his mother but is very distant always staying in his room won’t go for a job and now is starting to be disrespectful to us and I tell him he should see a doctor but to no avail,any suggestions what we can do I’m lost
For sure. The aftermath of having endured narcissistic abuse can leave one navigating the symptoms of Complex Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, or CPTSD.
Yes, you could very likely suffer PTSD after dealing with a narcissist. I was married to one for 18 years and was emotionally, verbally, and even sexually abused before I filed for divorce. He was in the process of discarding me for a new source, 30 yrs younger and uneducated, when we separated. I needed to go through a year of counseling to help me understand the abuse I endured. Through those counseling sessions, I learned that it was not me that failed the relationship as my counselor stated, but rather, my ex would not change or “own his sh*t” and I would need to regain my self esteem before moving on. I am happy to say that I have been in a committed relationship for the past 13 years and have had no contact with my ex since the divorce in 2010. Life does get better!
I was diagnosed with CPTSD from NPD abuse. I was with mine 16 years.
Yes for me most of them. I have been in a 18 year marriage but together 20 and it’s like we’re roommates, I’m on disability (since 2011) and I worked and got him a grant for school for what he does for a living in which is like $50k to $60k more than me cause I can only work pt or they’ll take my disability check which is what pays the rent and always has. He just pays the household bills and keeps his credit perfect. i found out I’ve never been on anything with him as in name. i even have to pay my own car ins for the car he bought for me to work. i feel like i;m walking on pins and needles. He told me he don;t like me, he’s almost never said i love you, i never got a ring, he tells me daily what a pitiful excuse for a human i am. i’ve never been in the hospital more times than i have being with him. panic attacks every day, i felt like i couldn’t breathe the other morning, 3 mornings in a row i woke up crying, couldn’t breathe like there was something on my chest and i was paralyzed. i was shaking, i couldm’t concentrate but i knew eventually i was going to have to call someone to help me. i’ve gotten into legal trouble in the past few months. He’s not trying to help. i cant help myself if my whole check goes to rent. His rebuttle was “well, you can get out then”. Right in the middle of the worst time i’m confused and scared to death about court and being abused everyday is seemingly taking me down bad, i’m the only one making sure the loans are done and the paperwork is fone for his freshman year in college…i’m just plain terrified! I need out but i have an ESA cat and nowhere to go and no money so thank you for sharing, this article is a replica of him exactly and how i feel. i just gotta get control
More often than not, the “victim” will ignore any part of their contribution to an argument but will slam the “aggressor” immediately if the reaction to the “victims” contribution to fuel the fire if I may. Not to say verbal abuse isn’t a problem, but to believe that anyone who is on the receiving end of frustration is in fact a “victim” You essentially are dismissing the “aggressors” natural emotions as unimportant, and inappropriate because you deemed it so.
Id say that dismissing that says a lot about our “victim” and a possible character flaws that often times the ‘victim’ isn’t aware of and/or doesnt take concern/effort to correct their own flaws rather than find a way to displace blame as described here in this article. More often than not, as to make the “victims” more aware that they too are prone to “anger, deception, hostility, etc” that they may very well be contributing to the relationship but don’t wish to acknowledge when trying to place blame for the circumstances they are in.
Ppl w NPD don’t suffer. They cause a lot of it though.
Hello narcisist.
Huh?
What a stupid troll you are! Dumb racist person go away! The article is about narcs like you! I’m sure you’re more like a Timothy from hell than from the Bible!
Ah, another Narcissist
Lmfao.timothy is a moron then. And knows nothing.there is no heaven fool.
The N.D.P. you refer to is a political party in Canada: the New Democratic Party. They for sure are abusers of the Canadian public along with their leader Jagmeet Singh.
I actually identiy with all traits, I can turn it in or off but I think narsism is the wrong diagnosis
This I narcissist abuse syndrome it’s how you change when you’re being abused by a narcissist. They’re not saying your the narcissist
What you have then is assholist
Nice try diddy. Stop touching kids and stay out if school zones.
Besides identifying problematic behaviors, what is some positive actions moving forward? Getting professional help costs money.
After reading this my Husband is definitely a narcissist. This is completely how I live. All these years I just thought he was a redneck with little education. I take antidepressants and nerve pills. I hate living this way day in and day out. We been married 43 years and have great Children and Grandchildren. If we was to split. I would have no where to go. I cant live with my children and interrupt their lives. My happy place right now is sitting in my chair and watching TV. If we go out together not on a date just groc shop, etc. I cant wait to get back home in my happy chair. I hide from my friends or ex co workers if I see them out cause I dont want nobody to see me or talk to me. I could rattle on, but people don’t like to read long posts. If any women out there without Children get out!!
Oh, dear God! We could be emotionally damaged twins. I too, have my ‘safety’ chair. That’s what I call mine for it isn’t a happy place. I don’t have a happy place, except in my memories of a long time ago. It’s been sixty years now that I’ve lived with a narcissist/cruel/verbally abusive husband. And went with him for four years before that. I was fifteen years old when we met and he decided he owned me from that moment on to this very day. He put the fear of God in me that got worse as the days and weeks went by. I slowly became the sick person I am today, both emotionally and physically. Now I’m 79 years old, and realize I actually gave my life away. I have one daughter and three grandchildren that give me joy and wonderful memories. I do thank God for them. I could write a book, but this is enough. I wish for you and all victims of any abuse, love and peace.
Gwyn, hope you are taking care of yourself. Take walks outside. It good for your mental health & body. Get a hobby to keep yourself busy. I know it’s hard to stay but sometimes it’s harder staying. You do what you feel is right. I get not wanting to cause issues with the family but if you do stay there are ways to help yourself be happy. Rise above it. You CAN do it. Keep living YOUR life. Get a part time job if you don’t work. Gets you out of the house too. You are stronger than you know. Goodluck.
Coming out on Amazon by September 1st, a must read book; “The Opposite of Love”, will give you everything you need to spot a narcissist quickly, know how to deal with them, learn how to not just survive, but thrive after a narcissistic abusive relationship. New, exciting way to protect yourself because this book is filled with information, tools, strategies and stories to give you power in situations where a narcissist’s partner usually has very littlr. Written by a woman, for women because 75 % of narcissists are men.
Can I know where you found that 75% of narcissists are men?
Love it
I will get that book!!!
Thank You!
What statistical evidence shows that 75% are men? My wife suffers from Narcissistic Personality Disorder. Yes, it’s very hard to deal with.
I was married to one for 10 years. It destroyed me. Drinking became best friend.
Fortunately, the man i married the second time saw my hurt. We’ve been married for 20 years now and I have been sober for 19yrs.
The mental healing has taken almost as long. PTSD is real. Nightmares are real. Depression is real. Major anxiety is real. With God and the right people in your life you can heal and know you are worthy and that too is real.
Been in the same place.
You are so blessed to have found a man who “saw’ the pain in you. Along with your faith, this man was able to help you heel. I’m 79 years old, have been married 60 years to a narcissist , and a lot of healing is too late for me. My story is way too long for here, but I want you to know I’m so proud of women (or men), who take steps to help themselves. I wished I would have had the courage.
60 years huh? Thats all on you then.
Nicely put!!! This is a positive way of ending, a possible hurtful subject. Stay positive people; be choosy at what you let occupy space in your head; no one should occupy your head space for free. You are the only one worthy to decide who should live there rent free.
Nicely said!
Thank you for this comment. ♥️ I was married to one 21 years, then started dating after a while and the next person turned out to be another narcissist:-(
Thank God, with His intervention, my therapist and closest friends, I was able to become free from this nightmare. Am recovering now and aiming better days and not ever repeat the same mistake!
I think everyone needs to stop and drink mezcal. Williamjohne instagram.com 5038669727
NOOOOO—DANG! Here we go AGAIN–the dastardly “r” word. Trouble waiting for you when you have the mindset of “relationship”—creating a THING from the way people treat each other! SAD & SICK.
Zounds! You Spiritless heathens are such guilt ridden, masochistic, tortured souls. Forget the “relationship” dung mindset. Just don’t stand for anybody treating you in such a sordid manner!
Why not break out of this slimy ego based living, ditch the demoniacs, and live in your Creator’s world? “Huh? Whaaa?” you say??
Look—God wants you to live in a joy based world. He stocked this world with butterflies to provide us visual delight—countless species of birds to provide us with audio delight—and carpeted the world with flowers to delight us with olfactory sensations—JUST TO SCRATCH THE SURFACE!!
But here YOU are wallowing in the beast’s world of misery and suffering with his ugly industrial blight, blasting you endlessly with obnoxious propaganda and screeching industrial racket, and burning your nose with the stench of noxious fumes and fetid odors.
You are making this choice! You need to ground with the Earth—walk barefoot on the beach for example. THAT makes everybody feel the comfort of this garden our Creator provides for us to enjoy. But the beast is plundering and vandalizing and looting and trashing this garden–and USING YOU to enable it!
Ohhh what to do, what to do? HERE!—For a starter—humble yourself and repeat this request daily and nightly—“Oh Heavenly Creator, in the name of our loving Savior, Jesus Christ, I BEG OF YOU— Please shield me from the wickedness and evil that now envelopes me (Including but not limited to)—
* Predators
* Parasites
* Propagandists
* Opportunists
* Greedsters
* >>>MANIPULATORS<<<
* Drug Crazed
* Criminally Insane
* Miscreants
* Sex Maniacs
* Sundry Other Varieties of Demoniacs
AMEN!!"
This timely free gift— compliments of your favorite Sage, Feral Tomm. YOU ARE WELCOME!!
That sounds good to me!
Well said! God bless!
excellent descriptions. I’m a life long “survivor” of 2 “expert” narcs===tough!
I agree! I also have had 2 horrible experiences and still trying to get out of one😞
Same here. Although I don’t know that I can call myself a survivor! I’m alive, but not living.
Sounds more like super secret witch spells!!!?!
They say extreme religious rantings are also a mental disorder. You can learn to find your way to reality. Consult a professional and soon.
have eyes, yet can’t see, ears, but can’t hear. There is more to fear that is invisible, than what you can see & hear
I get it. Riddle time. What has eyes but can’t see – well, that would be potatoes!!!
What has ears but can’t hear – that’s corn!!!!
Are you referring to everyone as vegetables???? Gee mister. That’s pretty rude!! Even if I do say so myself!!!!!
I am a narcissist. And I cheat all the time. I can not be alone. I blame others for my actions and I have never apologized for treating people poorly. I justify my wrongdoings. I am happy to ruin relationships and break multiple people’s hearts to be with my ex girlfriend. I am williamjohne wallender
Question: What was the extreme ReLegion rant?!
To #Pray means to Ask of.
He was specific in calling out the forces, to Pray/Ask to be shielded/covered/protected from….period….no more/no less!
Actually to #ProFess-It-All….To Speak It Into Existence✨
My thoughts exactly! How about some compassion for others that might benefit from some intelegent advise. Spewing religious beliefs to chastise others benefits no one other than the “holier than thou” narcissistic rant Mr Tomm
Marla, you are so clueless and out of touch with reality!
Yeah. Enough with the religious rants. Give your money to a professional who can actually help you. Save religion for those who want to use it to hurt people who are different from themselves.
Camper, I pity you poor lost soul.
So you condemn those are different from you while you’re accusing others for doing the same. What narcism and hypocrisy!
Why not just pass the comment by? Why is there a need to post a pissy response? Oh, I know because YOU are the narcissist…check. Thanks for the confirmation.
Lmfao
I could not agree more Lynn. I find the spewing of religious nonsense to be absolutely obnoxious. People doing so should seek help.
Don’t forget “Please forgive my own dark thoughts and actions. Please forgive the sufferings I caused YOU and others with the choices I’ve made.”
wow…
Thank You Lord for these replies and Feral Tomm
Amen & thank you for spreading the right words!
Amen Feral Tomm! I want to scream this from the mountain tops. So many families I know, including mine, are fractured because the younger generation is believing the lies of Satan. Christian people cutting off other believers. The Lords heart must be so sad.
My first born daughter 47 years old gave me the gift that keeps on giving for Christmas. She told me on Christmas Eve that I was a terrible mother that I was toxic and she wanted nothing to do with me as well as my granddaughter is not to have anything to do with me that was my Christmas gift , the torment that I have been living with is been helped tremendously with support from other narcissistic abuse survivors as well as God’s arms around me telling me everything is going to be okay I’m believer in karma and I think that my daughter will experience that and I pray that she survives it but I don’t think she has the tools the only tools she has are weapons intended to destroy unfortunately 😞 one day at a time for me and “music washes away from the soul of the dust of everyday life”. That is my keyboard and my voice lifting up to praise God ,,🙏🩷
I’m a little confused Marti, are you saying your daughter has you completely wrong??? I may be wrong on this but it sounds like you are deflecting to completely avoid any personal responsibility and narcissistic injury! Did you just state that, “I’m believer in karma and I think that my daughter will experience that”. It surely sounds like you have no self-awareness of who you are and what your family members think of you…
“If someone can’t tell you what their flaws are, they have the most dangerous flaws of them all; a lack of SELF-AWARENESS.
You don’t think, perhaps, that the problem could possibly be you? 🤔 Instead of considering the legitimacy of her frustrations and complaints which have led her to decide on no contact, you make yourself the victim. Oh how many times I have heard this plea of innocence from parents who have been estranged by their adult children. But no, nothing is ever their responsibility… it’s all the adult child’s fault! 🙄😒
I am in the same boat. I got an email dumping me. She said I was rude to a guest. 11 years now. It will never be mended.
Marti, I pray that you and your daughter heal your relationship. Please pray to remove your hope that she experiences karma and survives it. Hope for healing and the opportunity to move forward in Love. Your grandchild deserves two loving souls.
I read this , And honestly, you have to reply that I felt I had wrote it myself. You are not alone as I have one daughter my only daughter my first born, and I have the same exact problem. Ditto God is good you have to save yourself. You cannot save her. God can save her pray and release her. I had to do it because It was killing me slowly god bless you ! 🙏
Sorry but to the people complaining about their narcissistic children….guess what!?!? Your poor parenting created that! NPD is formed during early childhood! Maybe you had children tok young and resented them taking away your “freedom” and mistreated, abused or neglected them to form the narc you complain of today! Either way Take some damn accountability and responsibility for where you’ve gone wrong….otherwise you yourselves are narcs , and have released more upon the rest of the world to have to deal and be used and abused by! Stop looking for pity for your own wrong doings and start trying to make right on them. The only way to make right is with genuine goodness and love!
GOD SEES ALL ACTIONS. HEARS ALL WORDS AND KNOW ALL THOUGHTS GOOD AND BAD ON ALL OF THE MINDS AND HEARTS OF HIS BEAUTIFUL CREATIONS. ALL WHOM STAND STILL NOW AND BELIEVE WILL KNOW HE IS THERE FOR YOU IN THIS MOMENT. JUST AS HE WAS FOR ALL OF HIS CREATION BEFORE YOUR TIME . TRUST IN HIM AND KNOW THAT HIS WILL HAS AND WILL CONTINUE TO BEDONE. REJOICE ! AND GIVE THANKS PRAISE BE TO GOD. THE WORD OF GOD FOR THE PEOPLE OF GOD AMEN!
Please , our Children today say the meanest things , I believe it’s the spiritual forces of evil fighting constantly, I am constantly being disrespected by my daughter she is 51 , & Another daughter who is 49 , I have been always with good solid biblical wisdom & money , but not anymore , I’m hurt but I asked Jesus & the HOLY SPIRIT to give me STRENGTH I need all of GOD’s Power & I’m fine , they are confused but I pray everyday for them … if I would have talked to my mother the way they have talked to me … I would have no teeth ( not kidding) there is no respect ! I’ll be praying for u & ur daughter but ur daughter is very blind , i pray that GOD intervenes in her life & she will understand what it means to really be a mother … Be safe , Be Blessed & May God love you all the more 🇺🇸💯🇺🇸
I hear you Marti and I commiserate with you. My 38 year old daughter needs a mental health doctor. She has kept my granddaughter from me for 17 years. I last saw my granddaughter on her first birthday. She has also had a son. I do not know this grandchild.
My granddaughter met me right before her 18th birthday!
After all her mother has done to her, many boyfriends and on her 3rd marriage this child still has a loyalty to her mother. She “just wanted to meet me”! Broke my heart 💜 and that’s enough. I hope she realizes what she did someday. I was offering unconditional love and support, and she just put me straight.
I don’t wish this kind of dysfunctional family on anyone. She was my first born and I have lost my son (7 years ago, the second born). I can never forgive her for doing this.
I am a grandmother in name only. 🙁
There’s no such thing as karma. You reap what you sow. Whatever you measure out will be measured back to you. This is biblical. You daughter will reap what she has sown. It’s as simple as that. The Father can walk you through it as long as you look to Him for your help
Hang in there. You will
Get through this. I will pray for you 🙏🏻😊💕
❤️ I’m experiencing the same issues with my oldest daughter and my oldest granddaughter. Funny my other daughters have no ides what she is talking about. I will pray for you. Be strong and try to continue to live your life. God Bless.🙏❤️
Bless you,I am.so sorry.You must feel heartbroken. My son did the same to me four years ago
It has affected my health from.the pain of not seeing or hearing from him
We were once so very close
He is 53 and I am 75.I wish I had some advice.Unfortunatlly I myself have no idea how to fix this.estrangement. Take care of your self
My son has blocked me from. His cel.and social.media.I send hi. A birthday gift and never see a reply.My heart hurts for you
The same thing happened to me after my husband died n I needed my children to be ther for me but instead my eldest son turned his grief in a rage against Me
He was a beautiful soul when he was a child on Christmas Eve both boys n ther wives told me my house was a mess I was an awful mother . my eldest who went to Harvard twisted my past action to show me what awful mother n grandma I had no idea he interrupted the past as he did … it broke my heart I devoted my life to my children n family he also said his dad didn’t love him enough !
What pain
I’m so sorry that you’re going through this, I will pray for you.🙏💜
I have the same problem with my 47-year-old daughter, after doing everything in the world and dedicating years of my life to educate her and her two brothers, giving her (and them) all the love and everything a parent could possibly give to their children—for more than most young people ever have or opportunities like paying for her education in Europe after she graduated from high school, spending thousands of dollars on her orthodontics, giving her private piano lessons, private French lessons, and the list goes on and on yet in her eyes, I’m the worst person whose feet ever hit GOD’s planet. I have humbly given years in my life and service to her and her siblings yet I get treated like a dung hill by her and her 2 boys, my own grandchildren. She has caused her ex-husband and her current lover that she has shacked up with for years and her sons, my grandsons, whom I have not seen in years to hate my guts and even when somebody wished me a happy birthday online years ago (somebody she didn’t even know), she broke into that conversation to tell them what a horrible person I am and a bunch of outrageous lies about me and my family then, as an opportunist, she drove hundreds of miles to another part of the state, when her cousin had passed away, to spread more lies about me to my own family. When I tried to get to the root of the problem so many times years ago, she would always come up with outrageous lies about me, things that I had no clue about, and I have a very sound memory. All these efforts to get to the problem was like trying to nail Jell-O on the wall.I don’t understand this because I always loved my mother so much. Growing up, I never got a sliver of the nice things and opportunities in my life that she’s had.
I think one problem is that she was given too much. And, guess who she calls a narcissist? Little ol’ me.
Or they are believing your nonsense. Good grief
I agree, Jubilee. Thanks, Feral Tomm.
You are exactly right and thank you for telling all of us exactly what we need to hear! BTW everyone, even though our English rules may tell us differently, please don’t e-v-e-r start that rotten, stinking, evil bastard “satan” with a capital letter, especially after all the trouble he’s always causing!
Amen!
Well said and I agree. Unfortunately, not all people are capable 😕 Thanks for your message!
Thank you. I pray your message was heard by self-proclaimed ‘victims’; it IS a choice.
Why “victims” in quotes. There are actual victims all around. I hope you never become a victim.
Verbose, very. But little said. If you can conquer this, good for you. But for some, it’s not so easy. You pray for continued guidance, others will pray for deliverance. It’s just where you’re at you in the moment. Judge less…
Responding to the Narcissis information
I have lived with my husband 38 years and it started out great. Then after 3 years he changed.
The yelling getting mad over dropping a fork.. And it’s always my fault. He yell’s and cusses. And and tells me he wished I’d never married him. I’m disabled he tells me during he’s yelling. He doesn’t want be my caregiver, He went on vacation by himself w he’s sister. Told me Why would I want to go on vac with you. You can’t get out and walk anywhere. I’m not spending my vac sitting around the hotel or pool with you. Even though I have a Scooter. Yep your right on the truth. I can’t leave cause the break lights will not go off so my battery is run down. I m stuck. He’s the pillow of our community. He’s Doctor Jeckle and Mr Hyde. Thank you for the 9 reasons
I was married to a Narcissistic husband for 35 years and never knew it until later when I started to read about how the control and abuse their partners. The only time my husband was good to me and happy with me was when I would do what ever HE wanted, especially in the bedroom! He would brag to me that HE was an expert and going to “teach” me about being a wife! He passed at 58 and I can honestly say that I never wanted to be with another man after that. I just could not trust a man again, which is sad because I was approached by several men who wanted to have a relationship with me.
My story is very similar to the last one, only I was married 54 years to my husband. I knew what his problem was and went to several counsellors, who told me to leave him NOW. I could never do that because I had 3 sons, and I believed that I promised God” For Better For Worse Until Death Shall Part”. My husband had a lot of sickness, was into pornography in some form all our married life, and told me when my sons were in college that he had lived with another guy before he married me, and it was in a sexual relationship. I believe he married me because his church would never allow him to be gay. My marriage to him and our sons, I believe were a cover for who he really was. My husband died of congestive heart failure 3 years ago. I cared for him for the last months of his life in our home with the help of God. I have trouble with self worth, but am growing in my Christian faith and that is where my identity lies. My sons are the best thing that eve happened to me, and 7 grandchildren who I love and encourage and visit for their games and school functions. I see goodness in God helping through all of that. But I would never trust another man ever again…. Thank you for this column
You’re lucky!! Wow 3 yrs huh? My husband was prince charming when we were dating but within a matter of wks, my husband started in on me right after our wedding.
That sounds good but mine isn’t so easy. I didn’t realize she was that way until after I married her. I know I’m slow. I just am to patient and give people the benefit of the doubt and expect them to be good, decent people. It’s cost me lots over the years. I have learned to keep my BS meter on and keep my eyes wide open. Best wishes to all and God bless!
To a blind person your words are insulting.
Are you asking this from the same “god” who created an adversary they can’t defeat, who banished that adversary because they displayed independent and critical thinking? Or maybe it’s the “god” winemaker millions of people die because they wouldn’t love only him. Oooh, ooh…is it the “god” that COMMANDED Abraham kill his son to show his loyalty to him?
Yeah…feral Tom…you’re in a relationship with a NPD…no doubt. Get out while you can.
please read your Bible. You are way off.
Why are the stories of God, Jesus and Santa Claus so similar? “Be good, believe and receive gifts at the end. Be bad, he will see you, don’t believe, he will know, you will not receive any gifts and in fact, you will be punished (fires of Hell or a lump of coal).
Thanks 🙏 for sharing
Bless You❣️
Wow
I think what ever religions that marries multiple people are the N word too. It’s not clean, it’s not healthy they’re just germ and disease spreaders. If one person in the ridiculous filthy so called relationship catches a disease or any thing, everyone else catches it too and they really can’t prove who gave who what. You can catch germs and diseases very easily in this world and you don’t even have to have to have sex to catch a lot of theses yucky diseases. It’s greed, it’s not love or commitment. It hurts people and can ruin peoples health forever. As if exchanging bodily fluids from just one partner isn’t yucky enough. And those greedy people have several partners. That is not right in so many ways.
OMG, get off your freckin’ high horse and listen instead (I think this will be something new for you). Don’t know why you are preaching that “relationship ” is a nasty word. Look up the definition! You’ll see that the word refers to anyone or anything having anything to do with something else. For example, my responding you is the relationship I have with you. Just because you believe in worshiping and surrendering yourself to what you believe is a higher power, doesn’t solve issues that others have. Some choose to be responsible for their own lives and not just surrender to an unseen force that may or may not be there (depending on your beliefs).
Dear God, please protect me from your insane followers.
Homie… who’s to say YOUR god is the ONE TRUE GOD? Jesus himself said, ” Do not worship me but worship my father”…. seems like you have your heart in the right place but severely missed the mark… like most Christians… you believe your way is the ONLY way or you’re dawned for eternity… I feel that most religions act this way… if you were to look at physical and WELL documented evidence… we ALL have the same creator… they just call them by a different name… we all need to rejoice in life and the fact that most beings here on earth are sentient… everything breathing feels… plants, animals, and even the worst in created in own our wretched species feel on SOME level… just remember were in this TOGETHER and we have to leave this place for the lives that cone after us!
Why would you leave an article of a message after clearly not reading the full article? Trying to force people to think the way you do is pretty narcissistic dude.
Amen! It’s ALL a choice. I choose to live a Christ filled life. I have everything I need because my Heavenly Father blesses me. All glory to God!
I feel like you’re abusing me and now I feel like a victim LOL. Geez tell us how you really feel
Ha
I’m talking about narcissism lol
Thank you for posting this reply. Makes a lot of sense….
I hear you. thank you.
Amen.
NOt much then
Amen!!!! You hit the target!! People…surrender your life to the Lord! You will never make it here alone without your Creator. Your life can be soooo much better if you give it to the Lord!
I hear the beast of mammon in your words. You fool no one son of nothing. Why don’t you tell us all your real name? You won’t because you are afraid, son of nothing. You pride yourself the hunter man’s souls but now I see you!! Now it is you that is hunted, son of nothing. You cannot hide from the throne, Son of nothing. I wield the power of the Lord of Hosts, Son of Nothing, his power is which you cannot fathom. He will unmake you. Your time is limited, Fallen. We are coming for you.
❤️
When you are being abused it is almost impossible to actually see it yourself. I have Jesus and He brought me through.
Please don’t judge the hurt and minimize it. I am a survivor.
I have been stuck in this controlling and demeaning relationship for over 20 years. I definitely do feel damaged. I am 66 now and have no choice, but to just put up with it. I feel so helpless.
Thank you so very much this is going to be very much used!!!!!
Feral Tomm, simple Tom here.
I appreciate your zeal, and your dedication. I am also a man of Faith. I will ask you this: What if, the Mother you are commanded to honor (which I do, and have, for more than 4 decades, with all means of support) causes you to lie daily to avoid pointless conflict and soul-crushing conflicts? What prayer would you offer for her, and for you? -An honest question.
Actually. Tom, I did NOT have a choice. My mother is the narcissist. And, as an only child, I was isolated. So, think a little harder about your opinions.
THANK YOU🙏🏾🙏🏾🙏🏾 btw, guys get hit too! 20 yrs, thinking I can endure and make it better… now my life is nearly done and it’s getting worse!🤷🏽♂️
Just one word as an answer: FEAR
AMEN and thankyou
Wow I love this I’m smiling reading your message .. so powerful. 👏👏👏
Amen.
I feel like I am an adult and I can do what I would like. If I want to cheat and justify my actions I will do so. If I want to tell someone my ex who I dumped them for is better than them. I will do so. It doesn’t matter. My feelings matter. The person I dumped can move on and be with someone else. I didn’t love her. Things happen. Williamjohne on Instagram 503 866 9727
Wow! Boy oh boy, how I needed and longed for this prayer. So grateful.
I’m currently in a very toxic and mentally abusive relationship. This man is a very big narcissistic ass. He is very down grading and just has me at my witts end. And these people make it very hard to get away. He has made sure the only transportation I have is his vehicle. He has let utilities get shut off so that I would have to struggle to find ways to turn them back on. All this time he spends 200-300 a week on food for a wrestling place down the street. They sell the food and keep the money. He has done this for months. He screams and yells constantly when communicating with me. My friends and family do not come around because they can’t stand the way he talks down to me all the time. The list goes on and on and on. It’s a horrible way to live.
Connie you dont have to live this way. I lived with a narcist for 27 years and finally divorced him. Everything was about him. I was not a person with him. He did not communicate and when he did it was anger and he threw things across the room. I think he put arsenic on my food and when he made meals for me I was so sick.afterwards. I am so happy now that I’m vindicated away from him. I am alive and free as I cut off all the ties from him and his kind!!!
I, too, married a narcissistic man. Shortly after we married, an argument ensued one night (one of many) and while I was in the kitchen, he grabbed me by the throat – and this is shortly after we were married! – and I was shocked that he became so physical. I’d never seen that side of him but then again, we were in a relationship and sometimes the devil rears its ugly head “after the fact”
Unfortunately, the mental abuse was almost worse than the physical. He would tell me I only had a high school diploma (he went to college) which infuriated my brother when he heard what my ex said and that he was always putting me down. My brother had a great comeback when he said to my ex, “Its just a piece of paper.” After 5 years of taking this crap from him I had had enough and decided to put my plan together to remove myself from such a toxic individual. Every Sunday morning I would scour the paper for apartment rentals while he was still sleeping. Long story short, I met a very nice guy from work. We became good friends and talked about my situation often and he helped me realize that i was worthy of being treated as an equal and no longer a prisoner of his abuse. I had divorce papers drawn up, he was served and the divorce was granted and I left him before he could do any more damage to my self worth. It’s the best thing I ever did. I still carry the scars and flashbacks are often but I am safe and he can never hurt me again! That, in itself, is enough to help calm my anxiety. Thank God for giving.me the strength to go through with it. My prayers were answered. I am so happy and can breathe again and am no longer fearful. I am in control of my future and my fate and life is good. They say that angels walk amongst us – well, I believe Lucifer has his forces out too. I know this because I married one!
Your story sounds very similar to mine. I was very touched by your story and how you are attempting to survive this narcissistic abuser but we have to remember the narcissist will pay. The karma train is coming and they won’t know what hit them praying for you Lynn and your recovery God bless. As you move on from your journey The healing begins one day at a time as the Christy Lane lyrics tell us. 🙏Marti🤍
Run away, as fast as you can, don’t spend another precious minute of life with such a demonic life zapper! Take it from me, a lady who spend many years with one of these narcissistic parasites! I didnt even know there was a thing called Narcissistic Abuse until a few years ago, it’s a thing, a very real thing! Run now!!!
I completely agree with you my granddaughter married a narcissist although we saw the signs she didn’t or maybe she didn’t want to, they had two beautiful children together and for that we are thankful as we all adore them, she have left him now with the children and living with her mum and dad until she can get the rights back to the house.
Spent 9 years in a relationship like this only my man was an alcoholic. When you finally get away stay away every time I went back it was worse for me and my son. Sending prayers your way.
Easier said than done…. BUT like everyone here says…. The solution is simple to the outsiders eyes.
YOU LEAVE that relationship, and you leave it for good. No matter how emotionally, psychologically, or financially constrained someone has you; you are still THE ONLY one who owns your life.
Nobody “owns” you or your children.
The problem is these people have learned to prey on their victims and slowly wear you down (to make themselves feel indispensable to you).
You leave and you leave for good.
In the end its going to happen anyways, only to realize you could have saved yourself years of agony and pain.
Yo
Those are the words of a narcissist.
“EASIER SAID THAN DONE”
Just leave. You are only making excuses to yourself
Obviously you’ve never experienced this first hand. There are threats against your life, your children’s lives and extended family. There is also a thing called Trauma Bonding…look it up…it does exist. Unless you’ve been in that situation you have no clue.
Just leave they say…
Do you have a job? Do you live in Louisiana. If so what part? Do you have children ? You have to gradually put a bag of this like underwear at least two changes of clothes away where he can’t or want find it. Make up in your mind you are going to leave n never look back . Turn off the location on your phone. I’ll come get you n take you to file a police report. I have three extra bed rooms until you get on your feet. Praying for you.
you are an angel
Connie we need to talk. Or I need someone who knows how I feel. 38 years in June. @donnarhuggins,
Run as fast as you can! It sounds like he doesn’t deserve you
You need to get away somehow if you cannot do it immediately you need to slowly build a way – get a get away bag – hide away some emergency cash, snacks – several confuratvje clothes that are way to pack – weekend essentials and if you cannot get a rental car get an Uber or a friend … what state are you in ? Please update worried about you
My husband was very much like yours except he spent all his money on Porn, especially magazines. I remember when our son was about 13 and husband was throwing some of his magazines in the trash. He took the trash bag to the curb for pick up and while waiting for the school bus my son discovered those mags! He took three of them to his bedroom which of course husband discovered and went off on our son. I talked to my son later to see where he had gotten those mags and he told me, this after husband screamed at our son AND me, accusing me of being a bad parent and wondering where our son could get these mags. After I told husband what our son had told me, husband turned and walked away and never admitted the mags were his! He never took the blame for anything. Funny thing was our daughter could of course do no wrong in his eyes, even though she would come home on weekends with alcohol on her breath. But of course husband claimed that our son was drinking AND using drugs, which our son had told me that he would NEVER do. Even today in his 40’s he does not drink. Our son told me once that he watched his father act our from being addicted to pain pills and that he won’t even take them when he had major surgery!
Pray for him!
Find someone who will treat you like the queen you are my dear… EVERYONE deserves happiness!
YOU HAVE ONE LIFE. WHY ARE YOU STILL WITH THE ASSHOLE? EVERYONE DESERVES BETTER THAN THAT.
Run. Do not walk, look back. GO!!
These kind of lower case humans can, in an instant of rage, kill Too many women die every year at the hands of these mentally ill and very sick men. If you have children, they are at risk as well. Not only from the early childhood trauma of witnessing violence, but they, them too, can end up dead. There are too many cases where not only the wife ends up dead.
Run. Do not hesitate. Even if you take nothing with you. Call the police and they will come and get you. If you don’t trust them call a family member to pick you up. And for heavens sake stop using your name in these posts to identify you. You don’t know who’s reading these.
I am a psychologist with 40 years of experience. You are in danger. You don’t deserve this kind of abuse.
Run. Leave. Don’t look back.
And find yourself a good therapist to assist you in sorting this out. You NEVER have to have this kind of man anywhere near you in the future.
My heart goes out to you. I hope a way out is going to come to you. You deserve a good life. Love,
A Friend who believes in your power.
AGAIN: YOU ARE LIVING IN FEAR
I was married to a narc for a long time. I wish this information was available back then. I was actually an enabler until I realized what was happening. I always thought it was my fault, and I could do nothing right. A friend of mine asked me because I am a strong woman how could I have let it happen, My response? If someone told you your hair was purple for 20 years, you would believe it. Divorcing this man was the best thing I have ever done in my life. Yes, I wasted many years under his abusive control (and again I always thought it was my fault that I couldn’t be perfect, couldn’t be the person he wanted) but that is the past and I look to the present and future.
Good for you Freedomland!! I applaud you as you made a great decision to leave the abuser.
I too was like you and now I’m liberated to living a happy and fulfilling life. I have met a most wonderful man who is like an angel from heaven unlike the narcistic abuser I was married to!
Good for you MS Freedomfound!
Trump is the perfect example of a narcissist!!
Trump is doing everything that a narcissist does!
People who want this narcissist for President are BRAIN WASHED AND UNEDUCATED!
BAREFOOT AND PREGNANT THESE PEOPLE ARE WEAK AND APPARENTLY DO NOT KNOWRIGHT FROM WRONG!
Projection of your fears blaming Trump?
Trump is the best hope to set this ship USA aright. My prayer is your eyes will be opened.
Trump might not make a good friend, but he made a great president! Praying he wins this 3rd time and gets this country back on track.
Totally! Pray the evil heart is opened by the light and grace of God.
Kevin, it figures SOMEONE would have to go there. Sad and hilarious. TDS should be listed as a toxic sickness. That moron you replied to just proved it.
Agree!
Trump DEFINITELY seems to be a narcissistic abuser! He shows this at every rally, every interview, and in the criminal acts he has displayed.
What about Biden’s criminal acts? The open borders are acts of treason. The president’s job is to keep Americans safe, not want them dead from illegal immigrant criminals and drugs.I guess you like high prices, too. Biden is too old and feeble minded to prosecute for taking messages home as a senator and vice president, but is okay to run for president? Where is your head?
You are evidently brainwashed and have no idea what are you talking about!! Trump has his flaws like many of us, but he loves this country and he is a true patriot!! Stop listen to fake, corrupted medias and get info about his good deeds! Look what happened to.our country under the present leadership! Trump is only one who can “drain the swamp”
Yes indeed! I hope anyone who cares enough to research it before voting will find that Trump is the epitome of a narcissist!
Meanwhile your eyes are wide shut !!
Perfectly stated… Unfortunately, they refuse to open their eyes to the incredible damage that’s been plaguing us for these last couple of years. They’d rather have someone that is less polarizing and more of a figurehead that will be more diplomatic even at the complete destruction of our country.
Since YOU love the biggest NARCISSISTIC RUMP I CAN only assume YOU KEVIN ARE A ROTTEN NARCISSISTIC TOOOOOOOO!😆😆😆😆
You need to think about a RAPIST, THIEF OF YOURS AND MINE USA SECRET DOCUMENTS, planned an INSURRECTION, appointed a JUDGE CANNON WHO DOES NOT BELIEVE IN LAWS THAT CONGRESS PASSED!
DO YOU BELIEVE IN OUR LAWS, OR the INSURRECTION WAS GREAT FOR YOUR COUNTRY, KEVIN?
People are so disgusting! They say that about Trump, but can’t see how brainwashed they have become by the left…. Look at all the evil the left does and says yet they still don’t see it!!… they don’t see that everything they blame on Trump is exactly what they have done to him or American patriots. It amazes me how easily brainwashed many have become.
Amen Kevin. 💯
…and you HAVE to be mentally ill to opt for liar and lifelong criminal Joe Biden/Barack Obama who are destroying our country right before our very eyes. Take your head out of your rectum and grow a brain. They are pitting every race against each other and some day very soon, the evil immigrants will come for us, just as they did Israel and chop off our heads. I guess YOU are part of the problem so go ahead and move yourself to Iran or China! Stupid!
Thank you the MAGA INSURRECTIONIST TRUMP IS THE LOGICAL PRESIDENT FOR NARCISSISTIC VOTERS!
Well said TicTac. Thank you
🙏
agree
RUTHIIE YOU ARE SO SO WRONG. PRESIDEN. T TRUMP HAS THE BIGGEST HEART OF ANY ONE I KNOW way back before politics. so many many good he did take the time to read about it
He cares about our country and gives financial help to people all the time and doesn’t tell it! He is surrounded by praying Christians who totally believe the Bible and live it out!
very true- why can’t they see what Trump is doing to out country. He wants to be our dictator for ever. WE may be in grave danger.
Ellen, I think you named the wrong president. joe is the one destroying our country. joe and his family are very corrupt. opening our borders to CRIMINALS and TERRORISTS. He and oblama are the true dictators.
I think the dictators are the Democratic Party, for pushing Socialism down our throats at every turn. Our country is so bad, the democrats are constantly shoving “free” stuff at us. It is ruining our country. You had better vote for Trump in Nov before our country is completely destroyed.
Yes! If you have ever been involved in a narcissistic relationship. You can spot a narcissist immediately! tRump is the perfect example of a narcissist!!
OMG!
Ruth I am with you on this👍
You need help ! You bring TRUMP in this conversation? Really? You have issues for sure. I guess you’re the NARCISSIST! TRUMP 2024!🇺🇸🇺🇸🙏
I see u missed the whole topic. There is a huge difference between a strong leader who can unite people vs a narc who is controlling and isolating.
Hi Ruthe: There is no need to disparage Trump supporters. Your comment is hate-filled, cruel, and insulting. How educated can YOU possibly be if this is the best you can do in expressing yourself. SMH
I pray for you however I don’t agree with your characterization of trump. Our politics do not match. But I believe that Donald Trump is doing everything he can with everything that was cast at him from all sides everyone has an arrow in their quiver directed straightly and him and he has completely survived I don’t like some of what he says but I think he’s the only one that can save our country sometimes a bit of narcissism is what it takes to be a president any of the great presidents were narcissists do some researching. Bless you and your journey and I pray God directs you to make the decision that will help our country when you vote in November 🇺🇲🇺🇲🇺🇲
You sound like you are a narcissist
Ruthe Mary Dusette Sounds like a narcissist who is calling people names because they don’t agree with her. Typical controlling behavior.
You are a very rude person. I hope you don’t try to influence your family members. Whoever the narc was you lived with did a fine job unless of course the narc was YOU. If you like the temperament of the USA today, then just continue with your hateful words. God bless you
OMG…are you really going to bring politics into this conversation??? What a foolish comment!!!
Yes !,awful awful vote for Harris please !
Amen
Thank you for sharing. You just may have saved my soul. God be with you my friend.
Your site leave me asking a lot more questions regarding my own life, this one especially. I have believed for a long time that my spouse is a narcissist. Your comments regarding symptoms of mental abuse caught my eye. I have been a diabetic for 63 years and am currently in “End stage renal failure. I am making necessary arrangements for the “end” but some of the things I am experiencing are telling me that there might be more to it. My symptoms – I can barely get out of bed anymore due to fatigue and weakness, my equilibrium is totally off and cannot walk anywhere without help, no appetite, depression and anxiety, nausea, among other things. Obviously, life has not been fun!!! I am in counseling.
So sorry you are going through so much! I know what it is like living with a narcissist and in the relationship for 9 years. I worked hard to find a way to move out of the house we lived in. At the time I was still working which was a Godsend. My point is making the best of your time left to taking care of you no matter how small. Focus on yourself and never hesitate to ask for help. If you have a network of friends or family and therapy then you can plan some little things you enjoy to bring some happiness. Prayers for you and blessings.
I can’t believe you let someone name call someone else. They must be one also. They are not judge of others. God is our judge.
What are you talking about? A narcissist will call you names, beat on you, choke you, take everything you value and destroy it
People who aren’t narcissists name call and choke the life out of you and attempt to gaslight you into the grave I don’t see your point here everyone who is evil and wants to annihilate take the label off and you still have an evil person the narcissistic is just an excuse to judge and we are not to judge lest we be judged
I, too believe I am in the situation of a narcissist in my home. He wanted a relationship with me at first but now he just wants to be friends and continue staying in my home as a roommate. He said he could love me but not in the way I want him but then has the audacity to think he should still get the fringe benefits of having a relationship, and yes the sex part too. I call B.S. He tries to manipulate me into believing and doing what he wants me to do. Guess what!! I finally saw the light!! I am removing him from my home today!!
Have expressed my feelings and putting my foot down!! I answer to God and myself, not him. I will gain back my life of peacefulness and freedom today!! I can be free of this way of life and make it better for me.
Where did this become about politics?? I thought you all were talking about how to get rid of the narcissist in your life and how much better your lives became afterwards! Truthfully, politically speaking; they’re both idiots! I do my civic duty and vote this year; I may have to write in GOOFY! I’ve done my research and neither one is fit to serve. But I need to know as I’m in this situation and I know I need to get out. It kills me that I have to listen to him spouting BS but it hurts me worse that my daughter has to hide who she is and how she feels.
I’ve Just removed a narcissistic person from my life after a year of waiting my
time with lies and deception. I think that a lot of people need to know about these type of individuals. They come to Steel, Kill and destroy lives, they have demonic spirits. unable to realize their own faults, blinded by arrogance and ignorance. The real truth is low self esteem, due to being molested or put down
as a child in addition to not being in touch with reality . So I thank every person
Who expressed themselves on this platform. This is not judging, It’s helping people who find themselves in this situation. It’s giving people hope to know their NOT ALONE. And that you can over come, Also know that it’s Not
your fault. The Lord says that You ARE BEAUTIFULLY, Wonderfully and MARVELOUSLY, MADE WHOLE…..In Jesus Name…AMEN
things especially women who, tend to fall victim to these type of predators
Nicely said. I am married to a low end one. Claimes to be a follower of christ but actions speaks louder than words. We have been to pastorial counseling. And boy do i see the light!. God is using this to strenghten me and not to be fearful anymore. I know God got total control and I trust him with my life. Mybeyesbhave been open and I have learned to stand and not allow his behavior to get to me or offend me.bless all of you for sharing!
My kids and I are dealing with being separated from each other and they are threatened daily by their dad to be taken to someone else and never see each other again, it’s been done 7 yrs ago their 1/2 brother was sent away outside of the state. The bio mother had shared custody but he had primary, she had nothing to say when the judge allowed it. The abuse emotional and mental are real and for 2 kids that are autistic and another who shows the signs of abuse when loud noises, but his dad has an excuse and everyone buys it. We are scared and terrified but the cops don’t care they are my ex husbands friends, co workers and turn a blind eye. Even the Sheriff turns his head . It’s no joke.
It’s very real but very courageous people talking about their situations (like you did in this forum) are making this ugly part of human behavior well known. Eventually, our stories and our stand against being treated in such a demeaning way will become so loud society will have no choice but to accept this is a very real thing. Then and only then can laws and policies that speciifically protect victims of NPD abuse be put into place. Corruption has completely consumed our justice system. What is being completely ignored are the damaging life long affects on the survivors, mostly children. I will pray for you and other survivors of NPD abuse. I will also continue to encourage others to tell their stories.
They don’t want our stories to come out! They want to have the ability to manipulate others into believing their lies so they keep control over us!
Stay strong and know you are not alone! Even when it feels it’s you against the world, God is next to you and loves you!
I certainly don’t know what to do. I have a pretty much new (2 yr) neighbor that has gone after my two son’s that are mentally disabled. My bio son is high spectrum autistic, my adopted son whom I adopted 13 yrs ago is also on the spectrum but at the lower end. 46 & almost 45 respectively. The nicest guys you’d want to meet.
This women wanted to drag my son into some drama & I said no. Let me tell you the game was on. My bio son has no more friends around here, he would have & has helped anyone that needed it. We live in the villages, so it’s all old people as myself. I did write her a letter telling in no uncertain terms are my families names to come out of her mouth, Now she’s going around with a pack of papers upside down telling people she’s going to sue me. DO IT! She’s violated these boys freedom, defamed their characters to the point my son wants to move. My daughter will be moving here when I die. But till then I’m dealing with Lupus. I’m in the 5th stage of 6. I don’t want to live the rest of my life fighting this person. What do I do? Wish my dcd police husband was here he’d take care of it.
I am male and the woman I was with for almost two years. It was awful. She is married, but married for convenience to get benefits so Shei lives with her husband, but they sleep in separate rooms and she would come down and see me maybe 12 days a week and if I try to go anywhere, she would yell at me and Sam after other women I was married 33 years and my wife passed away three years ago this woman cussed at me yelled at me, hit me made it, so I went anywhere when she was at home at her home, I couldn’t go anywhere she would accuse me of being with women and then she hangs out with her ex-boyfriend used to beat her. I lost five people in my family in a two-year period and it happens so fast that I never had time to grief and she wouldn’t let me grief when I finally got rid of her a few months ago said it’s time to grieve. She was so rotten to me and I never saw it all my friends family everybody even her friends tried to give me away from her , but now she’s posting everywhere that I’m a narcissist she’s never had good relationship is always everybody else’s fault and reading this article hit a lot of pain points with me makes me sad. How could somebody hate me for a year and a half and try to ruin me the same time , she probably got about $1000 from me and she really thinks she’s done no wrong. I’m leaving a lot out but one of the things that she did too she always did everything by text. She would never voice to voice or face-to-face and she would call me names, and then ghost she was on drugs. She drank vodka, 24 seven and it made me mad, but she knew that she knew what buttons to push and I’m one of the nicest people ever. I have so many friends she has none but yet it’s my fault and she’s posting everywhere that I’m a narcissist. It really hurts my feelings. It was part of it to talk about it , I’ll never have answers of why somebody could do that to another person and then blame you for it. Crazy.
After living with a narcist and his narcistic family I divorced him. It was like coming out of prison into freedom, happiness and a new life.
I can tell you it’s the best thing I’ve ever done for myself. I no longer suffer from the constant abuse and I majored in Masters in marriage and family therapy to understand the dynamics of how narcist and other mental health diagnoses come into play with people that are Narcists.
I have a disabled son .. I believe he has N.P.D. With a long list of mental disorders .He is very manipulating and controling .. The verble abuse and emotional abuse . Very down grading and of everything is my fault ..Screams and yell at me constantly . Seem like I can’t do anything right . If He treats me like he owns me . Let alone all the things he has destroys ..If he don’t get his way ..There is hell to pay ..I an getting afraid of him sometimes. I really don’t know what to do ..He can’t read or write . Know no value of money ..He could’nt live on his own .. What am I to do .. He has’nt always been this was .. I know I am a disabler .. I make excuse for him all the time .. Help Me I really don’t know what to do ! ! .. I love him very much .. My last child . He hates his sister .. And known to be violent at times .. He takes meds for a list of mental issues ..But nothing helps ..
Is it called something different when it’s your father? Children are innocent they only know love. They are not wise to the difference between conditional versus unconditional love.
I lived in a year long relationship with a woman so manipulative and abusive to the point even if I did right and went above, I always did something wrong or it wasn’t enough. I cared for Jan 2023 with her two teenage daughters financially for 6 months all by myself. Now I see myself getting threatened with police to move out every time we argued. I finally decided to move out this week because the night I wanted to speak with her she slept with another man. A woman of 45 kept telling me “that I wanst man enough” well we’ll find out this month when she has to pay her rent and bills after quitting the same place where we worked at over our breakup. Talk about being mature…
My narcissist has COPD and says he has nowhere to go. I pay most of the bills including food and mortgage, etc. He gets a pension and buys cigarettes and car stuff. I paid $8000.00
for repairs for his older BMW. For years he has treated me like a roommate/housekeeper. I feel guilty because he is sick and has nowhere to go. I’m miserable just doing housework and cooking for him. He doesn’t talk to me anymore and is addicted to tv. I feel so alone and unloved
Nancy You have one life to live. Counseling may help you break the cycle and get to the root of why you’re guilty and can’t make a healthy move to free yourself. All the best to ypu
If you do what GOD tells you to do, you should have no problems with NARCISSISM. Go to the Book of: ROMANS CHAPTER 16: 17…18 And you will know what God tells you to do. The HOLY BIBLE IS THE USER MANUAL OF THE UNIVERSE. If you Love God Sincerely with all of your Heart, You will become the Temple in which His Holy Spirit DWELLS PERMANENTLY. The church is a House where His Beloved Children can gether together to praise Him. But, His Holy Spirit Dwells in your Heart with every breath that you take if You are WORTHY OF IT. Meaning: without ANY KIND OF MALICE, HATREDS, HYPOCRISY ETC..ETC.. PROVERBS : 6 : 16….19. The HOLY SPIRIT OF GOD DOES Not LIVE in a Building that is being so Often VANDALIZED BY THE K.K.Ks. If you are BLESSED LIKE ABRAHAM GOD’S SPIRIT will always be in your Heart. But if you are CURSED. God has nothing to do with you. JESUS HIMSELF IS NOT THERE TO SAVE MURDERERS, RAPISTS, THIEVES, LIARS ETC.. ETC… AND THERE IS NO SUCH THING AS PURGATORY. It is EITHER YOU ARE BLESSED BY GOD ALMIGHTY OR CURSED BY GOD ALMIGHTY. The CURSED IMPOSED BY GOD UPON ADAM AND EVE WILL REMAIN FOR ETERNITY. In fact: IF ANYONE OF THOSE CURSES IS ATTRIBUTED TO YOU FROM THE HOLY BIBLE WHICH IS THE USER MANUAL OF THE WORLD, YOU ARE UNDER THE SAME CURSES. “ YOU WILL WORK VERY HARD ALL OF YOUR LIFE AND NEVER PROSPER, YOU WILL HAVE NOTHING TO SHOW FOR . YOU WILL SUFFER FROM ALL KINDS OF DISEASES AND DIE FROM THEM. EVE WILL SUFFER DURING CHILD’S BIRTH AND MAN WILL NO LONGER LIVE FOR EVER. MAN WILL DIE FROM NOW ON. FROM GENERATIONS TO GENERATIONS”. DON’ T LET ANY CROOK TELL YOU OTHERWISE! THOSE CURSES ARE HERE TO REMAIN FOREVERMORE AND THE BLESSINGS ARE HERE TO REMAIN FOREVERMORE AS WELL. SPIRITUALLY, ONE CAN BE BLESSED FROM GENERATIONS TO GENERATIONS OR CURSED FROM GENERATIONS TO GENERATIONS. MATERIALLY, IT IS THE SAME WAY. ONE CAN EITHER BE RICH OR POOR. THE SO CALLED : “ MIDDLE CLASS “ IS NOTHING MORE THAN PAID SLAVERY. WITH A SALARY THAT GOES RIGHT BACK TO THE RICH WHO HAVE INVESTED THEIR MONIES TO CREATE LOTS OF JOBS BY HIRING THE MIDDLE CLASS TO RUN THEM SO THAT THEY CAN INCREASE THEIR PROFITS AND WEALTH. WHILE THEIR EMPLOYEES ARE LIVING PAYCHECKS TO PAYCHECKS. THIS SHOULD BE CALLED: PAID SLAVERY. NO ONE CAN SAY THEY ARE WORKING FOR NOTHING. BUT IN REALITY, THEY GET PAID JUST ENOUGH MONEY TO PAY THEIR BILLS, FEED THEIR FAMILY AND PAY THEIR TAXES. FORGET ABOUT SAVING ANYTHING FOR A RAINY DAY. Umm!! SO GOES LIFE …. C’EST LA VIE……….ASI VA LA VIDA….. SE KONSA LA VIE A YÉ !!!
Idiot.
I’m pretty sure The God I worship and I do fear God don’t get me wrong but man you make it like sound like it’s torture. Wow! By the way, I’m a Southern Baptist preacher’s daughter guy
A perfect example of a narcissist abuser is the Canadian Prime Minister of Canada Jackal Trudeau. He is a smiley face deceiver who made up laws by his Liberal Party despots to abuse Canadian citizens for his pleasure. For example he got away with two corruption scandal in the SNC-Lavalin Scandal and the WE charity scandal. Also He authorized forced euthanasia by C-7 and would put people in jail with severe fines by his C-63 Internet censorship policy. Also This narcissistic abuser passed Carbon Taxes to impose inflation upon the people. He also enforced two years ago the Emergency Act to quell protests against forced vaccinations. This abuser has persecuted several people for organizing these protests, He also authorized persecuting of Pastors in Canada and abolished freedom of religion and ordered other pogroms upon everyone else by the RCMP. He also abolished Canada’s Charter of Rights after 40 years. Such a man and his administration are a bunch of pathological narcistic abusers of a whole society and nations.
Do you know that your prime minister is an affair son of no other than Fidel Castro Ruz with lady Margaret Trudeau?
I just finally got out of a relationship that lasted 7 years on and off and believe me my was a narcissist she kept me away from friends always making excuses that they were staring trouble and so on she blamed me for everything cheating while she was the one she finally stole a 3,000 dollar engagement ring and 3,000 out of my checking account and that was the final draw for me
I’m in a relationship with a narc who tells me that I am also a narc. He constantly talks down to me saying that …. I’m crazy just like my mother, too bad I didn’t learn how to clean like her though; that I’m stupid; because I don’t trust him that it is me projecting that I am not to be trusted; he’s tired of doing me favors when I ask him to pick up one of the kids; that it’s my job to clean the house and take care of everything because I’m the woman (I work full time and have a college degree); the list goes one. I filed for divorce and am stuck in the house because he’s forcing me to pay the mortgage but yelling at to get out (then when I say I don’t have the money he says that’s my own fault and that I should have been saving money BUT when I try to put money aside he accuses me of stealing money.
HOW CAN I GET OUT??? I am literally about to just jump off a bridge so that I can just be free. I know that sounds terrible because I have kids but he has the kids thinking that I am dumb and a piece of crap and they have no respect for me.
I hate my life and feel so trapped.
I’m so sorry. I have felt this way too. I hope you get a fresh start away from him.
CR:
II sympathize with you and know how you feel, but I tell you this: In a case like yours, your only option, in my view, is to leave them to show to them that you are not dumb and that you are brave; after of what you are going through do not tell them anything, just go and look for emotional and spiritual support in God, talk to any body who you trust and is not related with your family since they do not believe in you or respect you. If you care for them just wait in prayer and they; at least some of them will come to you sooner than later. There is a possibility that your children do not respect you because you have stayed with the narcissistic husband who abuses you. I know that you have your reasons for doing that, but children do not always understand, and they align with the dominant parent agains the parent who they considere to be wick. This is why you must show your dignity and self strength. I think this will do a miracle for you. Jumping from a bridge or something of that sort won’t do any thing good for you or for them. May God bless you CR.
Agreed there are a lot of macho & femo narcissist out there.
Yes, Jesus is our cure.
Most ministers are not good at marriage counseling. Finding a christian counselor to walk with you through your history of crap treatment can be very healing.
Big problem is that most mental councel is anti god and therefore not having the whole picture. They can see the problems by analysis but without our creators spirit to fill in the big spiritual blanks, we end up with half assed councel.
I was marriage to a pastor!!! Who fits this description to a “T” I am also a deeply committed christian and my faith is strong and central to my life. BUT this did not help until I gain insights on my own with the help of reading and a counselor – who was not christian but a very skilled counselor. The most important thing is the skills a counselor brings to the table. To say they must be christian is limiting your opportunities for professional help. Help comes from some hard introspection and time
I have an older brother that is narcissi, he has always been controlling to anyone close to him, including male or female friends. It is always been about him and he could care less about anyone else including his siblings, his children and grand children, he has been married five times and hasn’t figured out why his wives keep running away from him. He would deny truth his past wives concerns they would expressed to him. It is sad that he thinks he has always been right and others are always wrong when they would try to patiently express to him where he was wrong in his way of thinking. It seems Trouble follows him everywhere he goes and everything he does. He has never got along peacefully with most people he comes in contact with. All his 79 years of life is like damnation on him and unable to understand who he is. I pray that God will open his mind and give him the ability of understanding a normal state of thinking.
Sounds like one of those religions where the male gets to have as many partners as he wants throughout the entire so called relationship and the females are sad and lonely as she watches him get ready to leave and screw another female as if she’s not good enough for him. She watches him basically replace her when ever he feels like it. It’s beyond evil , selfish and mean. You think your his everything, you have his children and he betrays you by being with other nasty females regardless of their age. And they don’t see anything wrong with it. And they treat you badly and compare you and have favorites. That’s wrong and it’s N behavior too.
Thank You for posting this article about narcissists’.
In the past I had a boss for seven years who was a total narcissist.
Please reach out to me if you would like to hear my story. I even wrote a book about this woman.
Christopher Rosalie
Has anyone else observed that those who use the word narcissist most often tend to be the biggest narcissists of them all? Constructive criticism becomes abuse. I didn’t like dome editing she had done on a book she is trying to publish, I didn’t say that, of course, I recommended a different angle. Whoops, bad move, now I’m attempting to keep her down, seeking to show my superiority. (Almost humourous as I left school at 14, did not Finnish Jr High and she holds a Masters degree) That is just an example, at this point she has ended it telling me I do not understand the damage I’ve caused her. She only sees herself a victim, always sees herself a victim. She does not see the very real damage that some suffer at the hands and mouths of others, she searches long and wide to find fault or abuse in every word that I say, sometimes misquoting me seemingly intentionally to prove herself correct. She is obsessed with it. If actual belittlement ever hit her, I’m not sure she would even recognize it. But I along with so many others in her eyes are narcissistic and. do not know it. My point here is, I recognize the importance of getting this kind of information put there for those seriously suffering from someone who is abusive, I just believe that more should be said about the limitations, thresholds like between constructive criticism and abuse, a willingness to be involved in things in their lives from a need to control them. I don’t like her talking on the phone late at night to a man that she refuses to identify, an old friend, and it’s “none of my business.” Is that abuse it self preservation?
The main element in a marriage is LOVE and if no love then it will fail. GOD is love and if you want to be successful then LOVE has to be the basis and driving force in any relationship. Read the definition of LOVE in GODs word and use it as your guide.
I started knowing about narcissism no more than three years ago; I am now 67. But here is what I have to say about the human trend of narcissism. Ego, selfishness, hypocrisy, vanity are all elements of self serving behaviors and self promoting attitudes, which are not always oriented towards success or development, but instead are oriented towards survivalism and easiness in daily living as long as this survival and parasitic relations with others can last. And here is the trick: all human individuals, we, are to some extent and level: narcissist, and the majority “do not
even know it. Narcissism is a natural feature in most of living organisms, being simple cells or complex mammals like my self or yours… We live immersed in a narcissistic human society and who’s ever is free of fault let her/him cast the first stone. No body should condemn or judge no body, but we all must stop sinning so much and start loving others plenty. Amen.
The longer you stay, the more damage to you and your kids. It’s not easy to leave a narcissist but it is probably the only way to regain your life and happiness. I was so determined that I could make the relationship work, but all I did was lose more of myself, my confidence, my life. Read everything you can on narcissism so you stop feeling crazy and can start making the rational and necessary decisions and taking actions to get out and stay out. Peace and happiness are on the other side. In time, the only thing you will regret is that you didn’t do it sooner.
Been there, done that.
My son had the same situation with his fiancé of 8 years he moved home and with it she ran all his cards up to $30,000 he lost his job back in June and the previous two men in her life both committed suicide he’s back home stays in his room a lot doesn’t even try to get a job,everyone in the family notices how he changed except for him and now he’s starting to get disrespectful to his mother and me,I was blaming it on him using Kratom but I beg him to go talk to someone but he won’t and I’m out of ideas. He is an adult 39yrs old but just doesn’t see the changes in hisself. Any suggestions?
Donald Trump to a T
I have learned a lot from reading different patience cases
Hi! I came to this article; and, I’m thankful for ya’ll comments on narcissists; I regret having spent my life with one of them; I’m still in this absurd, evil, toxic, cruel relationship; but, “ Thanks to the Lord Jesus Christ, who fortified my spirit, and strengthened me”, I can say that I have been able to walk through this obscure valley; everything that is being said about narcissists is very true since I have tasted all the bitterness of this demonic life zappper!; I went from one disease into another for too many years; and, only God knows how I raised my two children; and, if I’m still alive, it is because of the Grace of Almighty God. This man used all kind of lies and manipulations to keep me by his side; it is so difficult to leave because he made sure to cut all my ties with friends, he messed up my credit; divorced me at some point keeping everything for him; etc; the list goes on…and, I have noticed that his mental problems have gotten worse as he ages; I know that I’m strong in the Lord; however, I know deeply in my heart that this is not the life God intended for me; narcissists are like black widow spiders who catch you; and, don’t let go of you; he caused too much damage to me and to our Sons; and because he uses his money and power , the Law was never on my side because he found ways to turn the truth into lies; and got away with his abusive behavior and evil deeds; I just hope for Divine Justice “…
I just figured out my daughter-in-law! She is a female covert narcissist! She exhibits all the signs. She kicked my son out of their rented house because he finally said some things back to her after she kept nagging him. “You don’t love me. Why don’t you love me?” To make matters worse her mother lives with them! Plus her two children and in the past another young man lived with them. I could preach all day about mothers living with their married children. DO NOT! I will never live with my married children even if they begged me. My DIL keeps my son like on a leash pulling him in only to say terrible things to him bringing up past wrongs when she has some herself. She will say to him that she probably will file for divorce but keeps him wondering when or if she really will. When I tried to talk to her she pushed me away blaming him for having lust. He never cheated on her at all! Now she hates me according to my son and on top of all this she claims to be a Christian and even has a “ministry” to help others!!!! It is too complicated to say all that has happened but I try to encourage my son to not dwell on her because he really wants to reconcile but she does not.
There are leaders & there are followers. Some have strong determination. Some not so much. People who are different aren’t necessarily bad. They’re just different. Cut from a different cloth.Those complaining are usually those threatened by or jealous of the over achiever. They call them names. Try to make them feel bad for being successful. I say get a life. Quit complaining & blaze your own trail. Weak minds require others to guide them. Hence Religion was invented.
I was married to a narcissist for 10 years.
The mental abuse was horrible. I told my family that it would have been easier to have been hit. Then people could see the hurt and pain.
Alcohol became my best friend.
I remarried to a man who could see me and began to build me up.
We’ve been married for 20 yrs. I’ve been sober for 19yrs.
It has taken me almost as long to heal.
The nightmares are real. The loss of self is real. The tears are real PTSD is real. The anxiety is real. I weighed 92 pounds when he sent me home. “He never cheated on me,” but was married 3 weeks after our divorce. He had everything planned before he sent me home. He even tried to convince me not to get a lawyer. Fortunately I had my family that stood by me and supported me.
Healing is real with God and the right people in your life. I am a survivor.
Living with a narcissistic person can be
So painful! I have been use to being downgraded in front of others and he realizes that it must stop and he sayI will try to do better!!! Never again will I endure it! I now just walk out of the conversation! If in a professional scenario it is so disrespectful! I most recently just looked at him and then turn
To the professional and say excuse me but ignore him I will take care of what I need to do! Then after handling it I write a note to him and sat what I have completed and add your disrespect of me has to stop NOW!
I, too, am wondering if I’ve been with a narcissist for the past 12 years. He can be abusive physically and emotionally. He cheated on me a year ago and I just found out he has been doing it again with the same person and I left in the middle of the night, packed my car and went to my moms. I have no money, no job and few friends but my 17 yr old and I will be happier for it, I hope. I pray that I can find a good job and maybe a good guy someday.
Hello What do you call a child who almost all of his life has put his mother down telling her he will take his life if she doesn’t give him money.. food, etc and gets in her face and yells “NOW” NOW, NOW
get here NOW. Send me money NOW. calls her 10 times a minute or as fast as she says no he calls and there is no end of disrespect throwing things at her at any time he is not pleased. She says he is autistic and that he doesn’t no better. We know better. He calls her at least 30 or more times a day. She tries to work but he is interrupting her all day. I call him narcissistic and abusive ..
Well let’s say my girlfriend goes and tells me she is broken. Tells me she loves me but refuses to touch me. Her emotions has stop. Yells at me. Tell me i need to find someone that love me. . But when I head to the door she says if you leave we are done. Only one arm hug and a peck of a kiss. She talks in her sleep. Saying Dave this is a unhealthy Relationship. And will never touch me again ever ever as she get louder and wakes up. And I ask why she said that. Her reply, dont to listen what I say I was sleeping. Every night I ask and their is always something. Back hurts, can’t breathe, not in the mood. She sneak out of bed goes in other room on her cellphone. I watch one night as she done things to herself. And I walk out and say you do that but won’t touch me. What do I do. I try to leave always saying I leave we are done. Maybe I should just leave.
It is abuse. He is abusive and it doesn’t matter what mental health disorder he may have. If the mother is older than 62, I’d call Adult Protective Services.
What can you do if you think you my be narcissistic.
What can you do if you think you my be narcissistic.
I lived with a lady with NPD for about 8 years under the same roof as my wife. we separated and divorced now for the last 6 years, Abuse continues to be a routine by her. I noticed NPD when I learnt that she had abandoned her son, from another relationship, at age of 3, and let him join her after 14 years ! visiting him once a year. The son was raised by grandma, mother of my ex, almost on the street, grandma seems to have NPD too, I am not sure though,
We have a daughter, now 13, who is being manipulated by her NPD mom almost everyday, without knowing. Daughter has to obey whatever mom says, unable to make the simplest decision. Mother loves the daughter like her own property, not an individual.
My life was destroyed by this NPD partner. I lost every thing I had to save my daughter. It is beyond understanding of many people how difficult it is to live with a NPD partner. Went thorough very complicated emotional and financial complexes. I hope there is a solution one day to control the abuse of these people with NPD, either by law, or by medicine, or other treatments. the fact is a person with NPD does know how painful is his/her actions against his/her partner.
I’m just coming out of a on again off again Narcissist/Gaslighter relationship. I never heard of these titles before but when I looked them up it all made sense what the person was doing to me and I was letting them because I wanted us to work. I couldn’t have friends because no one was supposed to like more than them. I couldn’t go to family dinners or holidays because they liked me more. I have been to therapy for as long as I was with this person. Now I’m clear of all those meds that I thought I was supposed to take to make me feel better. The final straw was when this person went around telling their family, friends neighbors, etc. that I was a Schizophrenic! My doctors proved this person wrong.
I’m on a long and lonely path towards my future and it sure looks a whole brighter out here.
Amen. Well said.