Stop guessing! These are the signs someone can’t stand you.
Picture this: You meet a couple of friends at a social event and catch up after months apart. One of your friends introduces you to a new friend of theirs, but since you’ve met, you’re not sure if they’re like you or not.
Is this all in your head, or does that certain person really dislike you from the first glimpse? Love at first sight can also apply to hate at first sight. This may seem a little harsh. People can be difficult to read, but we can use body language as a secret tool to learn their thoughts. It’s like having a secret decoder ring for social interactions.
Let’s explore some body language signals that might suggest someone isn’t too fond of you.
When speaking with you, they cross their arms
Besides being straight-up rude, this is one of the most obvious signs someone can’t stand you. Have you ever noticed that when people are defensive or uncomfortable, they cross their arms? I still remember when I started talking to someone I had just met at a party once. This person kept their arms crossed the entire time, even though I tried to engage them in friendly conversation.
And this gave me the impression that the crossed arms were separating us. They didn’t make eye contact and responded quickly, which felt like an obvious sign that they weren’t very excited to be speaking with me, though it could have been due to their natural stance or just being cold.
Little to no eye contact
Many individuals perceive this signal as a warning sign during a conversation, and I understand their point of view. Eye contact is the clearest sign that someone is engaged in what you’re saying. If they avoid it, it suggests they are not interested.
However, psychologists signal that some people are shy or nervous by nature, which may also be the reason they don’t make eye contact. It all depends on the context and additional cues they are giving you.
They are facing away from you
A person’s body language can reveal a lot about their feelings for you. A person will instinctively turn their body in your direction during a conversation if they like you. It’s a tacit method of demonstrating involvement and interest.
On the other hand, someone who constantly turns their body away from you might not be interested in the conversation or even in you. Remember, of course, that context is important. If they turn away because they’re rushing or multitasking, it might not have anything to do with their feelings.
Around you, their voice tone shifts
Do you notice someone’s voice changes when they talk to you? Like in a bad way, receiving short and monosyllabic words as a reply? Such behavior is one of the many signs someone can’t stand you.
According to research, people often change the pitch of their voices in response to their conversation partner’s perceived authority. Therefore, it indicates a lack of desire to build intimacy in the interaction if someone addresses you in a colder, more distant tone or language.
Do you know how your voice inherently becomes friendly and easygoing when you’re speaking to a close friend? However, it’s as if your voice puts on invisible armor when it’s someone you don’t like. Although it can be difficult to accept, keep in mind that not everyone will like us, and that’s okay. The important thing is that we remain loyal to ourselves and continue to be courteous and kind.
They never smile (for real) in your presence
Generally speaking, smiles are a positive indicator of contentment, ease, and likeability. However, not every smile is made equal. A true smile, sometimes referred to as a Duchenne smile, incorporates both the mouth and the eyes. When someone is truly delighted to see you, you’ll notice small wrinkles around their eyes.
It’s interesting to note that a recent study discovered that our brains can tell the difference between real and fake smiles. Therefore, it may be a sign that someone is not as happy as they may be acting if you notice that their smile doesn’t quite reach their eyes when they are with you.
They tend to interrupt you while talking
Another red flag that shows someone doesn’t like you is when you talk about a certain topic, and they interrupt you to comment about what you just said without even letting you finish the sentence. It may indicate that they don’t think your opinions are important.
Once, I worked with a coworker who would constantly interrupt me midsentence. I initially believed that they were simply overly excited or had a short attention span, but eventually I understood that he was just straight-up rude and didn’t like me.
Naturally, some people may not even be aware that they are doing it. However, if you observe this occurring frequently and other red flags on this list, it may be a sign that they don’t think highly of you.
They never get closer to you
You have known someone for a while now, but they never said something more than just “Hello” or a cold “How are you?” This is another way of them telling you indirectly they’re not interested in developing a friendship with you.
I remember that a while ago I was trying to get to know a new coworker. I would start asking about their favorite movies or weekend plans, but they would never respond to my questions and would always give me brief, evasive responses. I never planned on dating just wanted to be friendly and welcome her in the team. Upholding a strictly professional conversation felt like they were building a barrier.
Someone may not be interested in developing a closer relationship with you if they routinely avoid discussing personal details or expressing interest in your life. However, the reason may not always be dislike; some people are just more reserved or private.
They never start a discussion
Let’s be honest: if someone is waiting for you to strike up a conversation all the time, it may indicate that they are not interested in you. You are constantly “it” in this never-ending game of tag.
Because they like you, people often contact you first to ask about your day or share something that reminds them of you. However, what would happen if you stop making the first move and wait for them to take action in talking to you? Will they? If not, then there is a clear sign that they’re not interested in building a connection as much as you are.
Everyone wants a community or group of people they can talk to, feel safe with, and most importantly feel liked by. But is this the most important thing in life? As we get older, we understand that not everything is about friends or co-workers and bosses who like you.
While I underlined all the signs someone can’t stand you, which might be quite overwhelming for some readers, I also want to suggest you check out a book that may help you see things in a different light.
The Courage to Be Disliked: How to Free Yourself, Change Your Life, and Achieve Real Happiness is a wonderful bestseller worldwide. By clearing your mind of negative ideas and attitudes, this book can help you to make a lasting change, find genuine joy, and thrive. You can find it on Amazon for $12.49 for the paperback edition.
Related article: 11 Huge Red Flags of a Passive-Aggressive Person.
