You call them too often
Due to the evolution of technology, we can talk to relatives and friends much easier. And, of course, with our children if they are no longer in town. Now, the question is: how often do you talk to each other? Most parents feel neglected and sad because their adult children speak to them rarely and only when they require something.
But according to various psychologists, things aren’t always black and white. Sometimes gray comes in between, and we must think that they are having their lives separate from yours. While it’s nice to hang out once in a while, and text or call them to hear their voice, calling every day twice a day isn’t the best approach.
Ask them right away when it’s the right time to talk for a couple of minutes on the phone and make sure you respect their wishes and boundaries.
I consider my parents “authoritarian” because they always knew better and as I grew up I had to fight about my cloths, my friends, my hair style and even my glasses. There was no support of “ME”. When I went to college I never called home. A friend caught me one day and told me my parents were on the phone. I said to tell them I’d call back. He said that they told him to drag me to the phone with whatever force necessary. I answered and my mother said, in her clenched teeth manner, “Just when were you planning ion calling us?”
Years later, when I was grown and married and living 6 hours away, I called my folks a few times, so I could tell them something. The next day I tried again but couldn’t reach them. I called my sister who lived another couple of hours from my parents, to see if she knew why I couldn’t reach them and she said, “They’re here.” They had gone to visit my sister and would have had to drive within a mile of my house and weren’t going to even stop by. so, they ended up stopping by on their way home but just for a couple of hours before they left to go home.
One interesting thing I realized after my father passed away. Most things I did, in order to get recognized at work, I did so that I could tell my father to show him how successful I was so I could gain his love and respect. In later years I would do something I was proud of and think to call my father and remember he was not around any more. I would think of calling my mother but I needed the recognition from my father. That’s when I started to live my life for ME !!