From time to time, it happens to all of us. At some point, you will say something that is not okay to somebody. And this is fine. Try to understand why it is wrong, apologize, and then move on.
When we are talking about your husband, though, the scenario might vary a little bit. There are some things that are never okay to say to a woman, even more so to your wife. And it’s not like they are hidden; these phrases are well known to everybody, and it’s implied that they are not the best things to say.
Sometimes this happens by accident; maybe your partner wanted to compliment you but he is not very good at it. But other times, people are only saying them to offend.
So, pay attention when you are talking to your husband, and if he says any of these things, maybe this is a sign that he is not respectful at all.
176 Responses
I’ not sure you are as correct as you seem to think you are. But you have the absolute right to express yourself and your beliefs however you choose. My wife and I have been together for 34 years and she is keenly aware that I love her and mean no harm to her ego or self esteem. She is not perfect
and neither am I. Nor does either one of us expect that in each other. By what I have read here, it seems you are always on the lookout and ready to pounce on someone as if you are the proper police. I feel there is a great majority of us normal humans that realize we re going to make some mistakes along the way and it’s more important in how we handle that matter, much more than being the perfect word choice master. This is just my thoughts on the matter and they may not align with yours, and that’s okay as well. We don’t always have the same views but can still be correct in what we express. I think it’s more important what was meant than what was said.
When one of us says something “you” may not like, we laugh about it. We call it Love.
Your the guy the srticle is talking about. The one who doesn’t respect women.
And you’re the little twink whose wife takes BBCs while Trump watches.
That’s a very stupid statement
It’s amazing… You took the words straight out of my mouth.
I couldn’t agree more with Jack Noble.
My wife and I have been married for 37 years and raised 3 very honest and sincere children.
Are we perfect? Far from it, but we have always been honest with ourselves, each other, our family and our extended families.
you are so true!! seems to me shes very insecure
I agree
Agree with respondent. This article is more whiney leftist garbage.
Gee, tell us how you really feel!
Jeez, i concur. These are pretty off base. I joke “you’re okay for a girl” all the time. And what if you’re exes really were crazy, and this one really isn’t like the rest? I guess i’m just a narcissist.
Bravo!
I read this too. when my husband said some of these thing we laughed an wink at each other I considered it a huge compliment when my husband said you are not like other women. I like surprising by not acting like so many whinners. Women wear on my nerves. I had two sons I learned a lot from them and their friends.
Yes, I think it is a compliment when your husband says you are not like other women. Nor do you want to be. You are unique and you want to be yourself and want to be loved for who you are.
Me too! My husband and I , same thing. Some people don’t get it.
You go! Perfect I love your comment
Perfectly said. Congrats on your relationship
Was called “ a hot mess” the other day, I choose to think positive… I got called HOT!
🙂
Big dif btwn hot and hot mess. If you’re called a hot mess, it’s time for some self work
Larsen, it is a compliment and one that is normally meant in a very intimate way. Rest assured that your husband loves you and desires you. You go girl!
If these things bother a spouse I think they are looking for an excuse to walk away. My Lord. These are nothing , really. I’ve been married since 75. We, both, have said horrible things to each other. We also understand that a slip if the tongue, a moment of stress, etc. we took an oath. For better or worse. That includes saying things that we don’t mean. If we made a list the writer would be horrified! We are best friends as well as married. We love each other and we’re not perfect
Amen! My husband and I have been married 47 years and together for 50 since high school. Marriage is work. We all say and do things that hurt. We apologize and move on. It’s called forgiveness. If it weren’t for forgiveness we would have not made it this long. We fell in love at age 16. I will love til the end of my days and he will too! Til death us do part.
Very well said.
Well said. I wonder if this is from some women’s thing as it is generally men bashing. I can see some things listed in this are just things adults that are secure in their relationship might say?
You are spot on. We have been married 31 years. You have great days and days that no matter what you say, it isn’t right. Some people do have crazy exes and one is still messing with him 35 years later. I feel you can’t judge our generation by Gen z’s rules. We were raised differently, we realize not everything we say means we don’t love and respect each other. I mean, we are still together 32 years later, because we work at it. We don’t run when our spouse says something. That’s not foundational for a lasting marriage.
I feel you are on they right track, Jack.
Sergio, after have experienced a marriage of 55 years.
You may call it love, and though she has learned to tolerate your behavior, doesn’t necessarily feel the same way about your way of loving. These are simply guidelines and people may interpret as they wish, but seeing just how defensive of a mechanism you have it definitely raises questions about the particular behavior that this article describes. Perhaps it may have hit home but if you say you’ve been together for 34 years, perhaps it’s a great time to begin a healing process for you both.
WHaT are the 3 things please?? Don’t see it here?? I just see the comments here…& the beginning, on the other page?? Where are the 3 things?? Thx!!
WHaT are the 3 things please?? Don’t see it here?? I just see the comments here…& the beginning, on the other page?? Where are the 3 things?? Thx!!
my wife and i tell each other fu and i say it back. we talk to each other anyway we want. after 50+ years, we know each other. this article is stupid!!!!
The self hating misandrist worshipping soy boy simps on here defending these thin skinned feminazis aren’t just pathetic, but evil. Why we need to shame tf out these weak flaming losers.
This underlies why American men would be foolish to engage in any relationship with American women. They really do not deserve what we have to offer. This is why wise American men looking for wives to build families look abroad.
I disagree.
From the Title of the article and through out..I disagree.
The intention is to inflame and doubt.
Good communication skills mean you ask daily ,( if needed,, )what do you mean by that? I’d like you to( instead)
If things never change, go to a councelor..then decide..
I agree. Article is leftist tripe.
That is the most asinine thing I have heard anyone say in a long time! It has nothing to do with looking for mates abroad. What matters is love and respect for each other! I ought to know because I’ve been married to the love of my life for 44+ years!!!!
So true
44 years of mar. Congratulations to both of you!!
Respect and communication is key.
Dead on! 56 years of experience!
Of course you wouldn’t understand because you married back when women were loving and caring. Look at modern women these days in their 20’s and 30’s. Society teaches women to hate men for various reasons. You need to look outside your own perspective sometimes, it isn’t always about you. Times have changed dramatically.
I am sure he doesnt mean all women. But when you speak to ladies, most women abroad (can i say that? 😄) seem far more mature to me. I am usually stereotyped by the women here. US women have derided me for not having perfectly combed long hair. Absolutely ridiculous. Not one woman overseas has ever done that
We have been married 55 years and I must say if you don’t have LOVE AND RESPECT for each other you won’t have a good marriage. Communication HUGH figure for sure.
We have been married 56 years and so we are the living the best years of our life and I must say God has been good to us. Being a Christian always helps your marriage.
Me too, well 43 yrs next month! We’ve had many fights, especially in our younger years! We have both said things in the heat of the moment that we shouldn’t have. We have rarely had a cross word in the past 20 years. Long ago, we made the past off limits in our disagreements. Once you argue and resolve, forget about it. Don’t keep a bunker of your partner’s mistakes to use in future arguments.
I wish you could teach that to my husband. Let the past go. Problem is it’s not my past, it’s his 3 past wives pasts. I have been with him for 22 years and after the first 3 he turned from a wonderful, gentle and loving husband into a mean spirited person who is always feeling sorry for himself. He gets nasty with me, but says it’s because he is mad at himself. Good grief. I’d probably start over, but he is now in his 70s and has had recent health problems. I am the only he has that will help him physically and financially. Fortunately I’m very much an empath and I forgive people easily.
Your husband is a narcissist just like mines.
I know what you mean Janine. My first husband was an abuser and I lived it for 8 1/2 years. Verbal, mental, physical, sexual, emotional, you name it. I suffered for that time and I had no one, not even my own family to lean on but I did it until I couldn’t any more. Now I have been married to my second husband for 21 + years. Started out great until about 3 weeks in I figured out he was a mamas boy, even at 36 years old, and couldn’t do anything without asking her permission. After she died he switched the reigns to his sister. He has never relied on me for answers, however he has had Parkinson’s for the last 15 years. For the last 8 I’ve had to start doing most things for him, and it has progressed to where I do EVERYTHING for him the last 6 years. Everything!!! I never get a thank you, I love you, I appreciate you. Nothing and like you I would leave but he has no one else to care for him so I am “stuck”. So now I look at it as the Lord has me here to make me stronger as a person and a Christian, and to meals me rely more on Him. When I do my days are so much better. So when you can’t handle it anymore just pray and ask God to wrap His arms around you, protect you and give you strength and I PROMISE YOU you WILL see a difference! You’ll still have hard days but just keep on praying!
You are blessed beyond words! I’ve waited 60 years to meet my soulmate, alas it hasn’t happened.
I hear there are flights you can take and trucks that can move your furniture to assist in a move out of the United Stages- suggest you take those!
Proud Texan
lol! Same goes for women . My husband is from England . My first husband was an American like me and was always insulting me in front of friends. That’s why he is no longer my husband !
The men who “look abroad” couldn’t get an American woman to marry them.
Yeah well maybe that’s the problem try looking at home we are just fine women or maybe take a look at yourself
You got that right!
I’m the most empathetic and all I have gotten is needy, shallow and whining women or polar opposites behavior of the silent treatment. There has never been a stable emotional demeanor in both my long-term 22 and 14+ years, where I am demonized for being me. No abuse, just high on life!
Agree
Oh brother.
Please, please do… Go live there too.
Absolutely Correct!
You’re looking for a broad alright. Not really. Just looking for an opportunity to disrespect an entire country of women. Poor sport. You go right ahead. Plenty of online order bride scams out there. Typically Russia, Slavik countries and even Chinese. Alll kinds of countries. Have a go !
Well apparently u r looking for someone who might find America better place to live so they r more willing to put up w u. Where American woman don’t or won’t tolerate u.
Women who marry men from abroad do it to get to the USA
Definitely truth in this
American men look for wives abroad so they will have submissive women..end of story.
I found my wife who is 15 years younger in Ukraine. I would definitely not say that women abroad are more submissive. Definitely not.
Waiting to find that non-American wife wasn’t recognized during the first 50 years of my life. I settled for i a California girl who had settled for a womanizing cheater. I failed to ask the right questions before I decided she was made for me. Life goes on.. until the next phase.
I was about to write the same thing.
This article is a toxic and damaging to marriage
Couldn’t agree more! Very happy with my Filipina wife!!
Go to Africa and find a wife I’m sure that’s the only thing that will make you happy.
Women are women….and men are men. So don’t fool yourself🙄
You are delusional…there are many American women that are worth it…the problem is that the number of good American women outweigh the number of good American men
Sadly, this author focuses on the level of communication for men only. Hopefully, this author will update with a follow up with better ways for men to communicate with women. It’s time we recognize the attempt of men to communicate without the constant ridicule and judgement for every facial expression, every movement, every geature, every sentence, and everything. Btw, women could take a few lessons on proper communication and understanding men too for future articles. Life is stressful enough with constant seeking for criticism without understanding the individual. Let’s respect each other better. Enough said for now.
A man doesn’t need to look abroad for any woman, but he does need to give careful consideration to finding a suitable partner. No, the grass isn’t any greener on other side
of pond, just our perception of it is.
Mark you sound like a weak man. If you don’t like dating American women then that’s your prerogative but don’t spread your ignorance onto your fellow brothers.
You have just not met good women who can really appreciate a good man. My huband was married twice beffore we met so I’m his 3rd wife and now happily married 28 years. He says I do an excellent job taking care of him he is now 85 years old and I’m his full time care taker. I had a very bad previous marriage so when I met him I saw he was a diamond and truly appreciated all he had done for me and treats me so I treat him really good back. His prior 2 wives didn’t appreciate him and were not good to him. We are both American but he was born in Canada and came to live here in the US at 21 years old. There are rotten women abroad too.
You are so right. No one is perfect. Most of the time we look for a mate in all the wrong places. My spouse and I had both been married before. My first husband and I had 28 years and he was abusive verbally and cheated most of those years but that didn’t make me stop loving him which I did. When he passed I made a promise to myself I would never get married again. Well, three years after my husband passed I met a great man he asked how my Uncle was so I thought wow he is gay. People kept trying to come between us, to break us up. I set him down and I told him I loved him with all my heart. But the past is the past. I told him everything from my past and didn’t hold back. I recorded everything. Then he told everything about himself. I recorded this as well. Then I took a baggy and placed the recording in the baggy. We went outside and we buried our past in our backyard. I looked him in the eye and said, there you go our past is no more itisxdesd and buried no more to ever talk about. We never had any disagreements over the years. We had a problem we talked about it. Never everley a problem go, it will fester and possibly poison your lives. I buried my husband in February 2007. I miss him terribly but I decided I had the bad and the best of both worlds. He has been gone now for almost 18 years and I have never remarried because I now found that when you are a widow, guys look at you like hey she is easy to get her trust and then clean her out. I have had male friends who tried this and I was on the alert. Saw the red flags and was told there was the right use for it. One even tried to sue me but he never had a leg to stand on only if he harassed me more he would go to jail for a long time for extortion. I decided to go on by myself I am happyand content . Do not needamanto define who I am.
There are rotten men and women all over the world. You just have to be discerning and ask Christ for His guidance when you are in conflict with anyone. Tame the tongue so you don’t release the venom that can upset someone. You tongue can uplift or bring someone down. Most important thing is to apologize when you are wrong and ask for forgiveness. Extend the olive hand!
Well said. I won’t even consider dating a woman from America exactly because of these entitled attitudes. Why bother putting up with this narcissism when there are so many better and easier options.
You are looking for women that only listen to YOUR COMMANDS with no backbone to say YOU are wrong in some instances, You want someone that will not questions any of your suggestions. Those are WEAK women marrying negative controlling men with abusive tendancies. OR they are just trying to get into this country and will LEAVE YOU once they get the chance,
Im an older woman and i agree with you. Modern women are the products of 3-4 generations of feminism. It has been taight in the classrooms and also at home to varying degrees. Women want it all including worship. The problem nowadays is finding a decent woman from another country because now feminism has spread like crazy all over the planet thanks to the internet and esp Instagram and TikTok.
There are good American women; you just have to not be lazy and look for one.
You must be the most ignorant person alive! I cannot believe you typed this and hit the post button. You’re a moron! You’re a real catch obviously. Disgrace to any man on the planet your comment is. SMH
You would no doubt be much happier if you lived abroad. Perhaps you should plan a move to the middle east where women are used to being treated like something beneath your shoe.
Better than married to evil super thin skinned hateful misandrist feminazis like you. You think you’re flexiing proving the worse of places is far better, even alone, than with a comative woman.
“Ah, there it is! The exact behavior this article warns women about! If you feel the need to look ‘abroad’ for a wife, it says more about you than American women. What you’re really after are vulnerable women to prey on who may not have the resources or knowledge to spot narcissistic behavior. So yes, thanks for proving the point—this is exactly why articles like this exist. LOL
Mark, you sound like one who has been hurt in the past. Bashing and demeaning all American women and running off to another country to find a woman who fills your requirements is like looking for a chicken dinner in a coat closet. Did you ever wonder if it is you who has a problem?
Examine your own behavior, expectations, and social and etiquette skills, and **see if you are giving what you expect to get. If not, and if you are making the same poor choices repeatedly, perhaps a few visits to a counselor or therapist would be useful. Good luck!
What a load of BS.
American men looking abroad for a wife are simply shopping for a servant who will shut her mouth and open her legs when you tell her to.
Most of those marriages go to pot once they have thier green card..
And you deserve what you will get.
Old,alone,lonely and still disrespectful of women.
It’s too bad you are not man enough to deal with a real woman.
This statement by Mark Scott is so bazar, what planet do you live on? So your point or line of reasoning are no good? And that abroad that all Women are ok. Get some professional help Mark. . .
Sincerely, Clark
We are allowed to express ourselves free of condemnation. However it comes out doesn’t matter. Both are adults and are capable of extreme acceptance of the other. Dialogue and remedy are your best result.
Deal breaker is intolerance and superiority behaviors.
I’m waiting for your list of things wives say that mean they don’t deserve us. How long will that take?
The perfect marriage is two imperfect people who never give up on one another.
We have been married 45 years.
this is a disgrace to anyone who reads it ,your analizing everything and every word .basically telling people how they should feel for every moment of their lives only they know the actions of the moment.leave it alone they will sort out their own feelings.you know the old saying” too many cooks spoil the pot”
Makes zero sense period.
About what we expect from a psychologist from Seattle. American women don’t need an American man. Wr just need a foreign wife. They appreciate any man better anyway.
My husband calls his god Sister all the time and talks about our business to her and she does not like me at all and sometimes he takes her side and I get so upset about that because we are husband and wife and it’s not right. We’ve been married 22 years and sometimes we disagree with each other but we work it out at times but I told my husband I do not want that woman in our house at all if she do not like his godsister.
A woman’s perspective – I now have dated men to say these things and others, especially about deceased wives, past lovers, etc… I knew my worth and ended the brief relationships, quickly.
Thankfully after 39 years of marriage my first husband reconciled, “no he did not deserve me.” His words voluntarily.
He needed a mom not a wife. He has re-married someone willing to play that role. We’ve met, discussed some of this, and it is a fact.
I earned more than he did for a long time, am very domestic around the house, love being the lover, look “amazing” per his and many others’ opinions, our sons treat me like they adore me, yet, he was jealous of my achievements, enjoyed our lifestyle, and envied my relationships with family and friends. We are all so much better off since I got over my hang-up about being the wife he needed and adhering to vows I made when I was very young. I’ve been remarried several years, this time, I evaluated the men I dated for what we both needed.
Happiness is a lifelong honeymoon now with someone I treasure and who treasures me. Covid was a time for us to cement our ability to be one-on-one for several years and grow in mutual bliss.
Did not read any of this article. Does not concern me. 35 years married. Met and dated in1965, high school. Graduated 1967, went our seperate ways. Rekindled relationship 1987, 20 year high school reunion. Married 1989. Never cheated and will not. Have a nice day.
I totally completely disagree with the majority of this article. I also believe that a lot of what was said in this article is the pervasive current thinking in today’s society, and as such is why their is such a huge divide between partners, which has resulted in a lack of commitment within relationships in today’s world.
I have been married for 38 years to my best friend. We catch each other on what we say. I have learned to speak up about a toxic”put down.” I say, “ I felt anxious when I heard you say…..”. Then his explanation is given and understanding is met. However, our children have had to deal with failure to start for fear of “ You can’t do that!” His father treated his children this way.
Society in a whole has become to touchy about any perceived slight. People need to take a chill pill.
Respect, honesty.
Respect others feelings.
Not True
Looks like you’re all racist you can’t stereotype and put people in categories everyone’s different
This is bullsh*t! You have no idea what you’re talking about. You sound like someone that would make others feel like they are having to walk on eggshells around you. That makes you the narcissistic bully! You never addressed real problems, like name calling, like language that is degrading or demeaning, reading this was a waste of my time!
Bunch of BS. Been married for 52 yrs and still going strong regardless of mishaps or things said that seem a bit uncalled for. We are experiencing the human journey and from mistakes comes understanding. Talk about it with each other, period.
I hope whoever wrote this article does not think that women in general can lift as much weight or have as much endurance and speed as men. Those are the type of people that think we should lower the standard of special forces to allow more women to go through the courses and are asking to degrade the front line of defense that protects our freedoms. I know there are a lot of women stronger than me and I have no issue with that and would not even give it a second thought if I was married to one. My daughters and wife come to me all the time to open jars and few years back I got where I had an issue opening a few of them myself. Was low on testosterone and after I started replacement therapy the strength returned and muscle mass did too. Testosterone is a heck of a drug. That being said there is no reason on the face of the earth to deflate or take away from an accomplishment that they did by adding age OR gender in. Most men with common sense stays away from the age thing. I have no issue with women in authority ( not from the U.K. , but Margaret Thatcher was not a woman to push around when she was in power) . Woman that get paid less for doing the exact same job , with the exact same skills, with the exact same results are a blight what ever company or individual that does it. To ignore the general strength differences between men and women is stupid and so is reminding a woman that her accomplishments are good/great for a woman. Just give her the praise she deserves.
I’m waiting for your list of things wives say that mean they don’t deserve us. How long will that take?
You really don’t know anyone . U think you know them but you really don’t . From marring someone u went to school or college you really don’t know them. U have to be compatible and it’s a give and take process., and then it’s. Still hard.
I honestly can not believe what I’m reading. You are taking something that can be meant lovingly and turning it into a negative. My wife will be 70 this year. She looks AMAZING for her age and doesn’t look anywhere near 70. More like in her 40’s. But she isn’t 20. Thank GOD. That’s a compliment to her and me. How can you say otherwise and make it negative. She doesn’t want to fix the sink or change the oil or any other job like that. Those are all your opinions and you are entitled to them but don’t try to pass them off as “IN TROUBLE” relationships. If you are insecure with your relationship, I’m sorry and hope you get the help you need but please don’t cause issues with other relationships because of your insecurities.
It’s wrong to put all American women in a box like that. What do you want, a servant, a main, a permanent booty call? It depends. I have German and Russian women as friends. They don’t take any crap. They were not born or raised in America.
It all comes down to something No One can control,. Love,. we don’t chose who we fall in love with,.Love is kind of sneaky in that it chooses for us,. That being said,.it doesn’t mean that the relationship I will be perfect ,.No one knows what Love is,.we only know what it’s like.
I totally disagree with these. My husband and I are always goofing around and make some comments like these and we just laugh at each other. I think if you don’t have a good sense of humor and get offended by this, you really shouldn’t be together at all. It takes 2 to make a marriage.
Where are the 5 things not to say? Not the 5 replies, but where did the story go?
I believe it depends on if what is said is repetitive and also what the tone of voice is. If scornful, it is not said accidentally but to hurt.
The article is leftist garbage.
I’m not sure what was I expecting when I started to read this… Who told you your audience deserve to cope with your judgementalitis?
Yes, all you wrote was “common sense” and maybe well intended. On other hand, I’m shocked by your arrogance. Who commissioned you as Attitude City Police Department? OK, let’s calm down, I guess you wanted to guide poor souls that need your advice (according to you), then I’d just say you should try to give more constructive and compassionate advice. After all, we all are trying to do our best, Who is perfect?
Respect, loyalty, dignity, and love is due to any human being.
There are reasons why you address the next party in a certain way. If you love a person you are responsible for the whole Health. Just like they are responsible for your whole health. That means mentally, spiritually, financially, socially, and educationally.
The purpose for a relationship is to enhance each other and give each other something to look forward to in each other’s lives for the future so that you can bind together and become as a unit.
If the go with the person that you are with is not that gold then you are not with the soulmate that you are supposed to be with. That is the whole purpose of looking for the person that you can spend the rest of your life with. If that is not your goal then you are not in a relationship or marriage you’re just exploring. That is not fair to you or the next person. Be realistic on what you want and what your intentions are with an individual so that they won’t expect something from you that they won’t be receiving. That is a falsification of love.
Absolute rubbish! More drivel from people who think they know more than anyone else. Where is the article about the thing wives say? It’s time to purge the left from our society.
So , the “EXPERT” who wrote this “article” KNOWS ALL? Dated one person who ALWAYS left me wondering, WHAT THE………? We are in a restaurant , I ask if she would like dessert , or was she ready to go. Then it happens , “You NEVER take me ANYWHERE, YOU never want to do anything with me……BLAH BLAH BLAH[for over an hour]”. And it was numerous times , in different situations. BIG date , little date, no matter. “YOU NEVER want to ……”
“SOME”,(Many More than You can imagine)…One American Women ruined my life Thirty three years ago with “allegations” to the POLICE,( that she latet tried to drop the Charges because she knew they were Not true)But the POLICE are happy to get You Prosecuted…Fifteen years later a WOMEN POLICE OFFICER poseing as a Prostitute(as a recorded tape shows I Never “propensitioned” her),I was rendering assistance to her thinking she was stranded in “some” way…after her First sentence to me was HER PROPOSITIONING me for sex(RECORDED BY POLICE) I Realized what she is and drove away only to be arrested by her Police accomplices…which Cost me Four Thousand Dollars(Attorney/Court costs)ONLY TO BE FOUND “GUILTY”…YES! This American Woman is a Prostitute…for the Police…Fifteen Years later(“2023”) it is Spring,Bird migrating season,I am in a Public Park that I have visited three times a week for the past Six Months with No one ever at this chosen location.I am observed by an American Woman using binoculars to “Bird-watch” in a Public Park abd she reports my vehicle tag info. to the POLICE and I am Charged with a Sex crime,Jailed and have incurred Attorney fees,Court Costs,and “Therapy” visits,Community service(50 hours) Now Totaling Over Fifteen Thousand Dollars,($15,000)This ALL started by me OFFENDING an American Woman by her observing me using my binoculars in a Public Park to aid my vision,Bird watching,…AND NO,I Never looked at her in the Sixty seconds she observerd me looking with binoculars…What Crime did I commit?,who did I hurt?, Who is the Victim of Crime here….American Women USE the POLICE to “Beat up” Men with their “Issues”…
In general, I always enjoy this section and its themes. This time it is a bit over the top. Why do articles like that always seem to pick mostly on men? Women aren´t any better with word choices.
Indeed.
American men look for wives abroad so they will have submissive women..end of story.
Quite a number of men will not accept what is written there or here because they refuse to see themselves as to who they really are-all anyone can do is prey for them rather than pray on them. Now, look at the words “prey at pray “ does he knows the dif?
I just don’t understand why they only blame the opposite sex. Men and Women alike are responsible for what they say and do. If you don’t talk things out, then that is where you both should stop and think about your relationship. Yes, I am a woman, and yes, I am saying that as a woman, I, too, make mistakes. We all do; it’s nature, and that’s how we learn. So stop and think about it; we as women are at fault as much as men. I have seen a lot in my time and I have seen how some of my closest friends have sabotaged their own relationships. Women are just as much at fault as men are. Have a blessed day.
Who wrote this?? Who is Bill?
I began my college education majoring in psychology thinking I wanted to be a marriage and family therapist. After two semesters I realized what complete bullshit the professors were foisting upon us. I changed my major to computer science and had a happy life without the fake drama of being insulted and hurt at every innocent conversation with my mate.
We’ve been married 56 years.
If you truly love your spouse you will treat them with respect and if you need to tell them how you feel about something there is a kind way to do it and not to agenda them. I’ve been married to my spouse 37 yrs in August. We don’t always agree but we always tell the other person how we feel. You should always be honest with each other.
Everyone makes mistakes , or says something that doesn’t come out as intended or is misunderstood. The thing to be most aware of is a pattern of someone chipping away at your self esteem or who makes you feel worthless regardless of how much you do to support them. This awareness isn’t (in my opinion) a nitpick every word they say, but just be aware of someone breaking your confidence. This is not just for women,, there are many men who experience the same issues.
I thought this was cute from my husband. I would laugh . like to surprise him!
I just assumed that they were like boys.
I love this! I took it as a compliment. Women can be foolish and silly.
Women too petty and whining Are you like this? Just asking..
I never heard this from my husband . Do you act crazy? I see women do this all the time! I do from time to time?
This is one of the most nitpicky collection of bs I have ever read. If you are this sensitive maybe you’re the one that needs to be picked apart. Not him
It sounds like you’re dealing with a challenging situation, and I’m here to support you. When a partner makes you feel unworthy or disrespected,
Silence is the Best virtue. Walk away, if silence doesn’t behoove you
Where’s the counterpart article that tells husbands if their wife says this, they don’t deserve you?
Infantile, shallow, poorly written pop psychology drivel. I am going to unsubscribe immediately. This was so shockingly stupid I am not even interested to find out how I became associated. I just want this garbage out of my feed!
Don’t talk. Obviously communication between partners is Not the best way to a great relationship. Anything said by a man can be turned around into meaning something else. There is no doubt in my mind that the woman who wrote this list is single. Unless, her husband is a mute. Being a deaf mute would probably be best for the poor SOB.
Sighhhhhhhh—Small minds are all about words. Bigger minds are all about actions and deeds!
In MY life, blundered remarks are best dealt with using HUMOR! You like to create tension between couples with your dismal missives and you appear completely devoid of any form of humor what-so-ever! It makes me wonder about your motive—WHAT DO YOU HOPE TO GAIN??
Couples who use and enjoy humor with each other seem to be immune to the petty offenses that you are so obsessed about! We are BIGGER and deeper than you and your petty ilk!
Another bit of FREE timely advice from your favorite sage, Feral Tomm.
I lost my bride 3 years ago after 61 years of great togetherness.
We agreed that we should remarry after the death of our partner.
I don’t know if getting remarried is in the cards but the one thing that I never considered is that EVERY relationship IS going to end, sooner or later, one way or the other.
Cherish the ONE you are with!
I’m sorry if my opinion upsets anyone here…but, it’s my opinion and I am free to express it.
Mr. Scott…I’m 100% behind SM Rudd on this case. I have known my husband since April, 1983.
And, we’ve been married since Aug. 1987…about 37 yrs.
I think a person needs to know their partner for a long, long time, before each one feels that he/she completely understands the other. That takes an extensive amount of time, which should be filled with all the different emotions one can experience. Showing your emotions ‘safely’ in the company of the oposite sex can be very challenging…particularly in the beginning of a relationship, before you’ve had time to build trust between you, so that you can say or do anything…knowing, if you mess up, you will eventually be forgiven. Same for the partner.
My husband and I are soulmates. And I can depend on him to be there for me, no matter what the issue is, or how dificult it will be to push through the problem, until there is a resolution that satisfies both of you. And me for him.
And, as Mr./Ms. Rudd mentioned, there must be mutual trust in a relationship, before you will be able to feel totally secure with that person…no matter where you, or the other person lives, works, plays, or dies. If you want to see a great ending, you must first experience a great beginning. And mutual trust plays the largest, and most important part, in the entire relationship.
Blessings!
Carol Ann
I agree longer your married you no are you happy do you treat each other well don’t lie don’t cheat if you did or are grow up and be honest you get what you deserve one more thing don’t lie about money. i’m married 44 yrs and our biggest fight ever was over money years ago so we now just laugh about it but it falls in the trust family of things so we are honest about money a good marriage is trust and respect it does take time thats called life have a nice day
It seems that it is all to quickly forgotten, by the readers and the psychologists who write behavioral articles that will be shown to the general public, that psychology is considered to be a “soft science”.
A soft science is defined as “: a science such as sociology or anthropology, that deals with human beings as its principle subject matter, and is therefore not generally considered to be based on rigorous experimentation.”
EVERYTHING that is presented to the public that has humans beings as its “principle subject matter” which includes not only psychiatry, psychology, sociology and all the hundreds of specialized “spin offs” nowadays will tend to write their papers and articles as if they are speaking a “hard truth”.
All we are actually hearing is a theoretical conclusion or an opinion.
There has never been one, nor is there any now, nor will there ever be ANY psychological “finding” which can be called a “one size fits all”. Even though we’ve allowed our public school system to implement policies based on exactly the idea that it is applicable to every student.
WE can see the results of the application our educational system has been slowly marching downhill and producing lower and lower numbers of positive results.
It’s was very disturbing to see the writer of this list writing as if he was speaking about hard facts, and actually giving advice on what actions to take if you were the wife. Even going so far as to telling the wives that their husband “doesn’t respect them” and insinuating that he has no empathy so doesn’t really care about her.
It must be that EVERY SINGLE COUPLE has no dry sense of humor, or enjoys some friendly banter.
Those who practice psychology in some fashion do marvelous work when it’s one on one in an office because there are no two personalities that are exactly alike which should tell them that they can’t throw out any net that will accurately cover just the “fish” they are trying to “catch”.
They will end up doing damage to many more than they help.
Bless you others who took the time to point out the fallacies in this article.
Love and communication are mutual, period. What is the verdict if a woman (wife) says these things to her husband, does she not deserve him? The lie “happy wife, happy life is straight from hell. What about happy spouse (husband and wife) happy house? The responsibility rest with both in communication. Verbal disrespect is never acceptable but it happens. Humans say and do dumb things all the time. Spouses who DO deserve each other also know the sincere arts of apology and forgiveness.
You sir are a wise man!
Oh and by the way, I have been married to the same woman/wife for 41 years.
You proceed into marriage with your eyes wide open. You stay married with your eyes half closed.
Whomever is spewing this stuff to couples or women can create a real issue with folks! Most of this stuff is normal and you are creating problems where none exist! Responses, humor, most of all LOVE in response to some of these common things are what create 44 or 35 or long term marriages or relationships! Are you saying they are relationships that are just king because of tolerating toxic remarks? This was something I wanted to read, hope to help my grandchildren with, turn them to you….NEVER!
We are married for 65 yrs raised 5 children, but one of the children are not my husbands we had our ups and downs but this really broke our relationship. But he has not found out about 15 yrs ago. He is 84 I am 83 but lately he has said that to me but I take it as a compliment. I have been a good wife and mother but he seldom shown any love or kisses oh once in a while a hug or a peck on the Cheek when I really wanted that was 30 yrs ago.
What does it mean when a woman makes these statements?
You take the good, you take the bad, you work it all out and stay together, communication with each other is very important Married or single, Love with all your heart in love or just really loving another always has a way to work everything out when you give not 50 percent but 100 percent of yourself always, silent treatments never work, so for the most don’t worry deep, Love deeper, laugh much & often. That’s the fact of life”
Bravo! Finally someone that really gets it! : )
Amen to all that. When you vow by love, cherish, and honor your wife for life at your wedding, it is a sacred promise. It transcend everything, even the things you may blurt out in anger. My wife recognizes that every time I raise Mr voice to differ with her.
There are and will be rocks in the road of life which WE overcone together. God bless her for being so tolerant with me.
We are married more than 58 years.
Comments like that get an” excuse me you may want to rethink how you say that. “Because sometimes the motors running but the mind is not in gear. Mutual respect is the basis for any marriage pleases; thank you. And do you need some help are a must. And if you’re angry never leave without saying I love you. I’ve been married 45 years not always easy. but always fixable. You just need to talk.
Wow! We’ve been married 50+ years .I thank God I am not married to you!! Very thin skinned!! Anyone with as much ego as you seem to have, would be very difficult to live with. You sound like a pure prude Karen!
ILove my wife and we can laugh and communicate we have a sense of humor with each other we are forgiving and know each other’s heart 💖.
I thought I had married the love of my life. I was stapled in the heart, poisoned, choked continually, & knocked across the parking lot ending up completely paralyzed on right side, finally left with all bank money, & furnitur, he pretended to be the most loving husband before others. I loved & treated him with care. I am a Christian who spend time helping women & children molested. Cindy
Great. More feminist propaganda.
Apparently the person who wrote this doesn’t want anyone to be in a relationship. Some things are true but mostly nonsense.
I will be unsubscribing to this email. This is the second email I’ve read and it’s just, well…stupid. I don’t believe the author is a psychologist because it’s just too devoid of intellect. My IQ levels crashed after reading this. Good luck…
Author of this article is soooo wrong. She needs help!
And what does it mean when she the woman says it to me which she does quite often
My wife and I have been married 45 years (May 12th 1979). Fortunately she was my dream mate, whom I prayed for many years before marriage. In my eyes she was so beautiful, smart, sexy, and a great mom (two young kids from pervious bad marriage). I served 24 years military and 20 years civil service (Air Traffic Controller). Both of my careers were very successful due to her support, advice, and understanding. We have disagreed, verbal fights and have gone to bed angry before. But we learned to forgive, move on, and realize it’s part of life ( you wouldn’t enjoy the Sunshine if it didn’t Rain sometime). Treat each other with Love (like a Queen and King) and Respect. Just remember unfaithfulness can tear it apart. Pray, have Faith and remember a Happy Life involve a Happy Wife and Husband. In closings just to add some humor: it’s OK to admire/looks at the menu, just make sure you chose the same salad/meal. 😉
My wife and I have been married 45 years (May 12th 1979). Fortunately she was my dream mate, whom I prayed for many years before marriage. In my eyes she was so beautiful, smart, sexy, and a great mom (two young kids from pervious bad marriage). I served 24 years military and 20 years civil service (Air Traffic Controller). Both of my careers were very successful due to her support, advice, and understanding. We have disagreed, verbal fights and have gone to bed angry before. But we learned to forgive, move on, and realize it’s part of life ( you wouldn’t enjoy the Sunshine if it didn’t Rain sometime). Treat each other with Love (like a Queen and King) and Respect. Just remember unfaithfulness can tear it apart. Pray, have Faith and remember a Happy Life involve a Happy Wife and Husband. In closings just to add some humor: it’s OK to admire/look at the menu, just make sure you chose the same salad/meal. 😉
I don’t believe I’ve ever read an article so biased or assumptive in its advice.
What if she IS the narcissist?
What if she IS projecting?
What if the man has made a series of bad mate choices in his past?
This SEEMS that it MAY be the work of a misandrist, and PERHAPS may more appropriately belong as lyrics in a Taylor Swift song than as an attempt to represent itself as fair relationship advice to women.
Those things are things couples may say if they are secure in their relationship and can discuss things like adults. I can think of things that really would show hubby is not happy. Your pussy smells like a tuna boat. I want to bang your sister and your best friend. I put a booger in your coffee. I hate you. I would like to feed you to the pigs.
It would be easy to conclude from this article that the author(s) believes that only men and husbands can be toxic. This style of all or nothing thinking is what therapists call a cognitive distortion, or a thinking error. It is true that some men are toxic; some women are, too. Failure to recognize this and focusing only one side of a relationship is an oversimplification that builds resentment and an example of toxic media.
Ah, more of the old gynocentric, “better walk on eggshells if you don’t want to upset her” nonsense. Speak your mind, and don’t be afraid to tease her a bit. And for the love of God, don’t take her too seriously. You sex life will be better and she will relax into her feminine knowing you got this.
My husband thinks I want him died. I accidentally found out what he was doing when I was away for work. I confronted him about his nasty perverted hobby his reply was,” I’m not died, you want me died”. That hurt, really hurt. I never wish him died, I want him to stop.
I do have feelings for him and love him some. I’m just not deeply in love with him as I was. He disrespected our marriage and my love for him. He destroyed and shattered my heart. I am truly heartbroken💔. I don’t trust him anymore. We are still together BUT WHY!!!!!!
you do not know what the hell you talking about, you probally cheats on you wife and think you getting
away with it but do not be surprise if your wife is cheating on your ass she could be playing you like a fool.
Best book for EVERY HUMAN before dating or marriage: MEN WHO HATE WOMEN AND THE WOMEN WHO LOVE THEM. It’s by a female and male psychologist. Not what you expect but this old book is so insightful and intelligent. A MUST READ. It will teach you so much.
A woman once told me I was “projecting”. When she explained, I realized she was right. My student health insurance paid her, because she was a licensed therapist. I learned to recognize this behavior in myself and others. Like the Idiots who post this website.
When you RESPECT someone, you know how to communicate with them. You can communicate without hurting someone , and when you hurt someone, because your head is hot , it should follow with an apology, and it shouldn’t occur again. You practice this , because you love someone and want to get it right. LOVE IS PATIENT LOVE IS KIND .IT PROTECTS. IT’S VERBAL ABUSE . It’s been normalized .
There are no mentions of what a husband should not say. Without a list of items, I suggest you are trying to incite trust between spouses. The problem with psychologists trying to improve business by causing problems. Try integrity!