1. They want to be protected
This is a common phenomenon, and it is pretty easy to understand. Sometimes one partner prefers to be dependent on the other. And as in any other relationship, each partner has their own role.
But sometimes the balance of dependency can weigh more on one side than the other, and this happens when one of the partners has some personal issues. The partner we are talking about is the one who fell in love with the narcissists. But why do people fall in love with narcissists?
Generally, the person who wants to depend on the narcissist sees them as their savior. They are confident, funny, and charismatic. And all of these characteristics make the low-self-esteem person fall for them.
These people also don’t have an example of healthy relationships in their lives, and this makes things even worse. It’s not easy to know what a healthy relationship is when you have no role model.
While being around a self-assured narcissist may make you feel safe, keep in mind that they will always prefer to reassure themselves before reassuring you.
I found this article to be quite insiteful as i have read the previous ones reguarding the signs to be aware of that you have been or that you currently are in a relationship with a narcissist. The biggest hurdles for me to get over was that constant need to seek closure when the need to understand why or how ome to love unconditionally a woman that ,after reading articles on the subject, have concluded more and more a strong possibility she in fact is a narcissist. After Eight years of being in a relationship/ marriage with this person ,this was the one topic that I still had not yet come to any logical conclusions to, and in fact to this day even had just given up on on the serch to find such answears as to how I could love somebody so cruel and cold and selfish as she was/is still to this day. So in fact this article has given me, inpart some possible closure I had been seeking even years after the marrage to this person had ended.
Hi David,
You got out of the marriage to a narcissit. I did the same. However, it took me 38 years of putting myself in that position. I had all the charactoristics of wanting to save and protect them. I finally realized that I had give up my power and the hope that I would have closure. Today, I am free from the bondage, the drama and the relationship. I learned to self love, protect my heart and walk away.
I have done so much work on who I am and how to be me that I do not think of this person. I pray for him and I realize that I had to find the closure to save my soul. I have and will continue to take care of me. I rely on my spiritual guide and when I have a weak moment I realize all the blessings in my life because I can breath and be grateful that I am no longer with that person. I hope this helps. LRM