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6 Reasons Why People Fall in Love With Narcissists

September 25, 2023 · Relationships
fall in love with narcissists
Photo by Prazis Images from Shutterstock

3. They have similar traits

Another answer to the same question, “Why do people fall in love with narcissists?” might be one that is a little bit unsettling. Some people might be attracted to people who exhibit narcissistic traits because they also have the same traits. It’s like they are attracted to another version of them.

According to research conducted in the journal Personality and Individual Differences, sharing characteristics with a love partner is common. It is natural to find people who have similar traits to you. This might feel comfortable and can also make you feel understood. Combining all of this, you can have a happy relationship with fewer conflicts.

It can be problematic, though, if this instinct leads you into a relationship with a narcissist. A narcissist’s version of love involves mimicking your actions in order to win your affection. It’s possible that what seems to be shared preferences and interests is a deception to build a false image.

There are some studies that show that narcissists have a higher chance of falling in love with partners who share the same grandiosity tendencies as them.

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2 responses to “6 Reasons Why People Fall in Love With Narcissists”

  1. David Parkison says:
    September 16, 2024 at 3:35 am

    I found this article to be quite insiteful as i have read the previous ones reguarding the signs to be aware of that you have been or that you currently are in a relationship with a narcissist. The biggest hurdles for me to get over was that constant need to seek closure when the need to understand why or how ome to love unconditionally a woman that ,after reading articles on the subject, have concluded more and more a strong possibility she in fact is a narcissist. After Eight years of being in a relationship/ marriage with this person ,this was the one topic that I still had not yet come to any logical conclusions to, and in fact to this day even had just given up on on the serch to find such answears as to how I could love somebody so cruel and cold and selfish as she was/is still to this day. So in fact this article has given me, inpart some possible closure I had been seeking even years after the marrage to this person had ended.

    Reply
  2. Linda says:
    March 31, 2025 at 3:31 pm

    Hi David,

    You got out of the marriage to a narcissit. I did the same. However, it took me 38 years of putting myself in that position. I had all the charactoristics of wanting to save and protect them. I finally realized that I had give up my power and the hope that I would have closure. Today, I am free from the bondage, the drama and the relationship. I learned to self love, protect my heart and walk away.
    I have done so much work on who I am and how to be me that I do not think of this person. I pray for him and I realize that I had to find the closure to save my soul. I have and will continue to take care of me. I rely on my spiritual guide and when I have a weak moment I realize all the blessings in my life because I can breath and be grateful that I am no longer with that person. I hope this helps. LRM

    Reply

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