Can Your Well-Being and Mental Health Be Affected If You Spend Time With Someone Who Has Narcissistic Personality?
The answer is YES. Unfortunately living or spending time with a narcissistic person can significantly influence the way we think and behave. This kind of person tends to be self-focused, always concerned only for themselves, and manipulative with people in their lives.
Even though we are hearing more and more often the word “narcissistic” is important to remember that there is an important distinction between someone being self-centered and someone who has a Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD). Many people may have narcissistic characteristics such as feeling very important and putting themselves first, but a narcissistic personality means much more than that and can be really dangerous and challenging to deal with.
However, the first thing you need to do before we talk about practical tips for everyday interactions is to make the difference between someone who has NPD and someone who is just selfish. Read on and find out more.
Here Are 10 Practical Tips for Everyday Interactions with a Narcissist:
1. Educate Yourself About NPD
Isn’t it crazy that most of the time people describe someone with a narcissistic personality as very charming, which makes it easy to overlook some of their harmful behaviors? However, to protect yourself you need to be familiarized with the signs of NPD because just like that you can recognize it.
Knowing what you are dealing with helps you understand the person’s strengths and weaknesses plus it can help you learn to accept who they are and set realistic expectations and objectives for your relationship.
It’s not easy at all to manage a relationship with a person suffering from this disorder but having more information will make things work easier.
2. Build Your Self-Esteem
Believe in yourself and never let those around you make you suffer or lose your self-esteem. Knowing exactly who you are will not let a narcissistic person harm you with their behavior.
Keep in mind that having self-esteem can make it easier for you to be assertive for yourself, which is essential in maintaining a relationship with someone with NPD.
3. Advocate for Yourself
If you are not ready to deal with a problem, sometimes is just better to walk away and ignore it. Of course, the way we react depends on the relationship we have with the narcissistic person. Dealing with a parent, boss, or spouse may call for a different strategy than dealing with a simple friend or co-worker.
If your boundaries have been crossed, make sure you stay calm and not overreact or show annoyance. If it’s someone you’d like to keep in your life, you should try to speak gently and explain what bothers you and why their behavior isn’t appropriate. Anyway, you should know that it might be very hard for them to emphasize and understand your feelings. So, you might end up even more broken.
4. Don’t Try to Change Someone With Narcissistic Boundaries
Enforce clear and consistent boundaries but don’t try to change a person, because you will end up failing. Instead of trying to change a narcissistic person, you should set boundaries and limits, that way, they should understand what makes you sad or angry.
For example, let’s say a co-worker doesn’t respect the working hours and is always trying to impress the boss by telling lies about yourself. First, you should kindly let your co-worker know that what’s happening is not normal at all and that your feelings are being hurt. If the person continues to do it, you should tell them that you’ll personally talk to the boss and prove that everything is a lie. In the end, if the narcissist continues the same way, you should write a complaint and make sure you punish the behavior.
By talking kidly you can’t manage this kind of person. So, the best way is to know how to set limits.
5. Keep Calm
If you feel that you are going crazy, try to do breathing exercises, yoga, or meditation. These practices will help you stay calm while dealing with persons suffering from NPD. It’s the hardest when the narcissistic person is in your family because that is when it would be hard and almost impossible to simply run away and not care.
In order to keep the relationship as healthy as possible, let everyone know which are your boundaries and what you don’t like about them. Practice what you are going to say and not overreact in challenging situations.
Staying calm is the most important for yourself, you can’t let anyone affect your life or mental health.
6. Find Support
Do you feel that you’ve been through a lot? If you feel you are losing control, you should find support. For example, you can try new hobbies and activities that will help you relax. If you are feeling good, you will successfully manage everything. So, in case your spouse is a narcissist, try to rediscover yourselves and maybe try new things together. By doing so, both of you will feel better and it can help you to bond again.
Keep in mind that BOTH of you need to take baby steps to achieve something good for your relationship. If you are the only one trying, things will not work out as you wish.
7. Insist on Immediate Action and Avoid Promises
People with narcissistic behavior adore making promises. They will promise they will not do anything to hurt your feelings but they will end up doing the same things. Avoid fighting with this kind of people and just let them know about how you feel. Also, tell them you’ll fulfill their requests only after they’ve fulfilled yours.
8. Understand That a Narcissistic Person May Need Help
Some people may have narcissistic behavior but not suffer from NPD. A professional checkup is a must to be treated right. So, in case your loved one has strange behavior and you don’t know what to do anymore, you should get help. Even people with narcissistic traits can benefit from the help of a mental health professional. Regardless of a larger diagnosis, some traits can seriously harm personal development and relationships.
9. Answer to This Question: Do I Need Help?
It’s not easy at all to deal with a narcissist, that is why, you should pay attention to what your body is trying to tell you. Are you feeling tired? Are you done with being insulted? If you are overwhelmed by everything going on, you should also get some help. Don’t let anyone ruin your happiness. And, remember: In order to help others, you need to be good first.
10. Leave and Move On
Is it too much? Don’t be scared to leave. You should never ever stay in a relationship if you are not happy. If we are talking about a narcissistic spouse, of course, that separation may seem hard… but not impossible. You deserve to be treated better than that and, most importantly, you deserve to be happy. So, in case you tried too many times to prepare your relationship and didn’t succeed, maybe it’s time to move on. Be sure that better things are coming!
If you want to learn more about this topic, this book might be helpful: It’s Not You: Identifying and Healing from Narcissistic People.
You should also read: 6 Signs You Have a Narcissistic Mother.
