Set realistic expectations
Most likely, you will never be able to change her behavior, and however, it isn’t advised to do it. But what you can change when dealing with a stubborn daughter-in-law is how you behave toward her. Set yourself some realistic expectations to avoid any kind of disappointment or future frustrations.
Instead of expecting her to be supportive or happy about your accomplishments, start by doing this for her. And remember that you two are two different people, and no matter how hard it is, with a bit of work, in the end, you will get along.
Give her and your son space and respect their boundaries
Couples in the twenty-first century prioritize starting their own family and spending as little time as possible with their future in-laws. And that’s perfectly healthy for both sides! Don’t assume you will be able to see them every weekend, just acknowledge the fact that they are there for you no matter what. And don’t assume that’s instantly your daughter-in-law’s fault!
Establishing some limits between you is preferable. Be content with the occasional visits and glad that your kid now has his own house to maintain, rather than being angry that you don’t get to see him every day. He is a grownup now!
Your daughter-in-law will value your consideration for their privacy, and your connection with your son will stay intact. That’s definitely a win-win situation!
How is your daughter-in-law, and more importantly, how do you deal with the situation? Do you get along? Tell us in the comments section down below.
A few months ago, we wrote an article about boundaries and the importance of them in our lives. If you missed reading it, check it out here: 9 Boundaries NO ONE Should Cross in a Relationship.
2 Responses
I love my daughter-in-law, she has a heart of gold and would help anybody in need. But often when I invite them all for dinner, she will not always come & my son has to make excuses for her. It’s hard to understand but I am never sure if she will come. This Christmas she claimed she was too tired & my son shopped & brought all the appetizers & picked up & returned some of the guests who don’t drive. I wonder if she has bipolar or depression. She & my son have been together for 25 years & have 2 beautiful girls. I know she isn’t keen on my oldest son & his wife but that should not keep her from being here for me. It worries me that the girls will think it’s fine if they don’t want to attend a dinner or party, just to stay away like their Mother does. Is this something to worry about or should I just ignore it and carry on? She & I get along very well & she has been a wonderful daughter-in-law, it’s just these strange actions make me worry.
Thank You
It is hurtful to feel rejected, but I would try telling her that you miss her, would love to see her, and if there is someway you can make the visit easier for her.